I don't want to die.

[merlinscries]

I never wanted to die. I just wanted my life quality to improve; I love my hobbies, I love how I can hyperfocus on things and lose myself in them. There are things about my neurodivergence that are terrifyingly brilliant and could not happen with a neurotypical brain.

Some things in my life appear to have been gotten better. And I hope they will get even better. I hate what my bullies did to me, I hate how my parents neglected me, I hate how unfair society is and how it treats disabled people. A lot of damage has been done due to that; not all of my suffering is due to how I have been born.

I love music, I love literature, I love beauty, I love art, human history, nature, mysticism, poetry, even if I cannot relate to it in the same way most people can. In my best times I was creative and have written loads of poetry, I can handle language skillfully.

Maybe I can at least publish some creative work before I die. That is my wish for my life

 

[MapleS]

I hope you will be able to live a good life then

 

[BeanCurd]

Having a love for such beautiful things is a gift, in my book. Maybe you could post some of your poetry here?

 

[TorturedCerebrum]

Having a love for such beautiful things is a gift, in my book. Maybe you could post some of your poetry here?

i second this, good idea imo. I envy creative people it would be nice to not see it go to waste!

 

[merlinscries]

I hope you will be able to live a good life then

I don't think I will live much longer, I never even thought I'd get this far. But I'll try to do my best with the time I still have I suppose...

Having a love for such beautiful things is a gift, in my book. Maybe you could post some of your poetry here?

I don't think it's good enough for that :/

 

[BeanCurd]

No pressure to share, but I'm sure it'd be welcome! Goodness is subjective, and imo there's nothing wrong with sharing 'bad' things either. People can take something away from any kind of art.