I just want to talk

[Jamesun]

Hi, I don't know how to start, I just want to vent.
Lately I can't stop thinking that my life is shit, I try everything to get ahead but I can't leave my room, I see my friends, my partner, all doing something, and I can't help but feel bad. Every time I try to do something for myself, I just seem to sabotage myself.
I constantly think about ending my life, but the pain of hurting the people I care about won't let me. I can't help but think that my life is constantly being ruined. I think about how I'm not good at anything, how miserable my situation is, and that I'm not even intelligent I didn't even finish my studies, I get overwhelmed every time I try to work, and lately the anxiety is making it impossible to live; it gets worse every day. I'm afraid to talk to the people around me. I know I might not even get help, and I feel like a burden. I don't want to burden people with my problems, But deep down I want to live, there are things I want to do, so many, but the anxiety just gets worse every day, every day those thoughts of hurting myself or dying get stronger and stronger. I just want to change, or be someone else. I want to leave all this behind once and for all. I'm so scared and I feel so bad.
I want to truly live, but I can't help but question whether there is anything for me in this world or the meaning of it. I don't know if there's a future for me, if I'm destined to die, but I really want to get better and live.
Thanks for reading, I think this is all I have to say

 

[KnightOfSwords]

Hi, I don't know how to start, I just want to vent.
Lately I can't stop thinking that my life is shit, I try everything to get ahead but I can't leave my room, I see my friends, my partner, all doing something, and I can't help but feel bad. Every time I try to do something for myself, I just seem to sabotage myself.
I constantly think about ending my life, but the pain of hurting the people I care about won't let me. I can't help but think that my life is constantly being ruined. I think about how I'm not good at anything, how miserable my situation is, and that I'm not even intelligent I didn't even finish my studies, I get overwhelmed every time I try to work, and lately the anxiety is making it impossible to live; it gets worse every day. I'm afraid to talk to the people around me. I know I might not even get help, and I feel like a burden. I don't want to burden people with my problems, But deep down I want to live, there are things I want to do, so many, but the anxiety just gets worse every day, every day those thoughts of hurting myself or dying get stronger and stronger. I just want to change, or be someone else. I want to leave all this behind once and for all. I'm so scared and I feel so bad.
I want to truly live, but I can't help but question whether there is anything for me in this world or the meaning of it. I don't know if there's a future for me, if I'm destined to die, but I really want to get better and live.
Thanks for reading, I think this is all I have to say

No one is destined to die. I don't know you and your situation and it's incredibly difficult to ask for help but you might want to give it a shot. You're not a burden. If people refuse to help you - it's shitty but, well, worth trying anyway. And if they agree to help you - it's their choice, it doesn't make you a burden at all. Asking for help is very human and brave. What if something can be changed?