Were you destined to fail?

[youremy]

How many of you feel that ever since a point very early on in your life, you were sent to ride down a set of rails that would inevitably lead to your life becoming a complete trainwreck?

This could be due to abuse, neglect, financial hardship, death of a caregiver.

On the contrary, how many of you feel that things were relatively okay, that you had potential - with some minor or significant setbacks - but nothing that a person couldn't overcome, and that you had to go out and fuck it all up?

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

The glory of a single celebtated successful person

Is paid by the faillures of a million others around him that tried to succeed as he did

No one is set up. The chances were always there. But stupid ppl bougut into the idea that they could be that single 1

Often these stupid ppl have kids and impose their expectations on the children

and that is the reason why it feels destined

 

[whatsleftover]

i think im a bit of both. I have some congenital defects, some health problems that came about due to my negligence. I do believe, however, that most people could have done these "negligent" things and still turned out fine, I just get the dick-in-mouth end of the stick.

 

[Oiled Sandwich]

Destined to fail. Unfortunately, I grew up with the introverted belief that you could live as a one person island. That's far from the truth. Unfortunately, you have to be social with people, because support networks mean everything in the system. The system isn't designed around being able to do everything by yourself.

Couple this with the fact that if what you enjoy to do in life doesn't generate money, have fun trying to find coping methods working jobs you hate/tolerate for the next 40 years of your life when you get out of high school. If you enjoy working with numbers, accounting might be the career for you. If you enjoy art or working with animals, boy, you are in for a hard time.

 

[dirkw83]

Yes, a lot of bad things happened to me that were outside of my control at all.

 

[Salkak]

I did have some potential but eventually I started getting scared of everything, failure. So scared that I would get panic attacks. The world has stopped for me ever since my issues began. I feel life is too much work and I am unable to do it. In a way I am destined to fail

 

[itsgone2]

Generally yes. Too many defects.
Frustrated I didn't see them all earlier. But just too limited and flawed even to do that.
I'm embarrassed. Not all was my fault but still embarrassed. Many must have noticed I was off.
It was never going to work out though. I take responsibility for my actions but I didn't know i had a personality disorder.

 

[Salkak]

Generally yes. Too many defects.
Frustrated I didn't see them all earlier. But just too limited and flawed even to do that.
I'm embarrassed. Not all was my fault but still embarrassed. Many must have noticed I was off.
It was never going to work out though. I take responsibility for my actions but I didn't know i had a personality disorder.

I feel this too. I have a personality disorder too

 

[Charly]

Destined to fail, even though i thought i had potential. But it was no more than an illusion, i just realized that i was nothing special around my twenties. More than that, i probably have defective intelligence and extremely poor executive functions, reason why im still alive and couldnt manage to do anything decisive to off myself.
Have always been isolated and socially inept and even now i try to hide from others because im too much of a wreck for having anything to do with people. Im a dumb neet with a big ego who failed. Nothing positive can really come from being in touch with me.
Also, first post. Hi.

 

[endboss]

Life became hard when my father first developed schizophrenia. About 14 years later I got it, too. It's a horrible horrible illness and there is no real cure.

 

[idkwatimdoinghere]

How many of you feel that ever since a point very early on in your life, you were sent to ride down a set of rails that would inevitably lead to your life becoming a complete trainwreck?

This could be due to abuse, neglect, financial hardship, death of a caregiver.

On the contrary, how many of you feel that things were relatively okay, that you had potential - with some minor or significant setbacks - but nothing that a person couldn't overcome, and that you had to go out and fuck it all up?

I wanted to believe that i was in control of my life, that destiny was whatever i made it to be but idk abt that anymore. I was bullied for being stupid, defied that by putting no effort into my academics and graduating with honors. I thought they were just insecure, but now that i got fired from my job, i feel like they were seeing something in me that I was too stupid and too arrogant to see. Now that i look back, maybe it was out of concern that they did that. If i ended my life as an achiever maybe my parents wouldn't feel like they failed, but if i kill myself as an adult who has achieved nothing that would just be embarrassing. I cant die like this, i cant do that to my parents but im not really living, i get up to drink and shit and feed my cat but thats it, i dont like it, im jobless and i dont want to be so pathetic but im also tired and i dont see a future where anything will ever work out for me.

Destined to fail, even though i thought i had potential. But it was no more than an illusion, i just realized that i was nothing special around my twenties. More than that, i probably have defective intelligence and extremely poor executive functions, reason why im still alive and couldnt manage to do anything decisive to off myself.
Have always been isolated and socially inept and even now i try to hide from others because im too much of a wreck for having anything to do with people. Im a dumb neet with a big ego who failed. Nothing positive can really come from being in touch with me.
Also, first post. Hi.

I relate to you, its exhausting. Trying your best and failing again and again.

 

[Exhausted546]

How many of you feel that ever since a point very early on in your life, you were sent to ride down a set of rails that would inevitably lead to your life becoming a complete trainwreck?

This could be due to abuse, neglect, financial hardship, death of a caregiver.

On the contrary, how many of you feel that things were relatively okay, that you had potential - with some minor or significant setbacks - but nothing that a person couldn't overcome, and that you had to go out and fuck it all up?

I don't know. I felt on top of the world at 21, was becoming a doctor,super ambitious and disciplined,great mindset,I was doing everything I could to make the most out of life.

Combination of fucked up health issues leaving me very vulnerable combined traumatic abuse that had the goal of breaking me psychologically by a sociopathic parent.... ended up breaking me,I failed out and was never the same again,I was absurdly broken and traumatized. All this would have been avoided if I had cut off my family, hardened my heart and moved out at 21.Or even after my collapse, I should have cut off my family and fully hardened my heart to everything that happened. I failed to properly do so, I'm the only one still paying the consequences 11 years later, that's my fault honestly.

 

[gonnaAbstract]

Ugh, yes... Ever since I was like 15 I've been acutely aware that I'm too weak for the world, and I've just been waiting to die of natural selection.

 

[bellaisdonewithlife]

Yes because I think that I was born with anhedonia, and one of the specialists I went to agreed with me that it seems to be neurodevelopmental, like how my brain developed because I can't feel pleasure or anything my whole life. There was not really any traumatic event that I went through in childhood. I also had possible signs of this autoimmune-like illness at 5 years old that no one caught, but it didn't erupt until I was 18. Asexuality is not a choice either, so it feels like I was doomed to a life spent alone with anhedonia, no dopamine, and an incurable autoimmune-like illness from the beginning. I discovered these issues around the time I was 18.

 

[kunikuzushi]

I don't even know what caused it, but my life was definitely destined to fail since my earliest memory. I remember being in extreme emotional distress in kindergarten every single day, crying every day asking the teachers when i can go home. then i would go home and feel despair. constantly frustrated that i couldn't feel joy or even a slight interest in anything. every day was torture.

every day is still torture. nothing ever got better. trauma made things even worse. i didn't even ask to be born and i was set up to fail miserably.

 

[Passenger4224]

How many of you feel that ever since a point very early on in your life, you were sent to ride down a set of rails that would inevitably lead to your life becoming a complete trainwreck?

This could be due to abuse, neglect, financial hardship, death of a caregiver.

On the contrary, how many of you feel that things were relatively okay, that you had potential - with some minor or significant setbacks - but nothing that a person couldn't overcome, and that you had to go out and fuck it all up?

I feel like I am destined to fail- I mean, I know I'm destined to fail. I was born with several mental disabilities that make a happy life unrealistic for me, even with everything else in my life being perfect.

Have you experienced feelings of being destined to fail?

Btw, noticed you are newer to this forum, just wanted to say I like the posts you've made! You ask great questions and make insightful points :) Sorry life has brought you here :/

 

[Malfunction]

I've always believed I was destined to fail.

I've also believed that I could survive.

But I'm tired boss..

 

[Lamentice]

I don't believe in destiny, so saying I was destined to fail is too absolute for me.

But yes. The cards I was dealt in life with the natural temperment I was born with: yes.

I cannot and will never be able to wrap my head around having grown up in a severely abusive and neglectful household, failed by CPS, failed by the adults who saw glimpses, made comments, and observed from the outside, failed by my extended bio-family, failed by a religious cult that preaches family & community, kicked out by my parents as a minor to be homeless and fend for myself, taken in by an extended family member and then kicked out again by them at 18. Then I naively (somehow still) and expectingly found my way to the LGBT community believing it was the place I belonged, that for all I'd went through in life they would accept me, welcome me, see me. And they didn't, I was abandoned and rejected, judged and avoided, slandered and used, groomed and played, owned and thrown away, and excluded & ostracized once more. But nobody helps, humans have the gall and cruelty to tell me that it's my responsibility--solely and alone--to put myself back together into a pretty & functioning & comfortable presence for them to consume, and if I can't manage that I haven't tried hard enough.

I'm gonna fail out of spite because fuck these fucking people.

 

[inpainnosleep]

Yes. Being born Autistic and prone to severe mental health issues into a violent family. And then it constantly felt like the universe kept setting up traps for me and I always made the wrong choices which have lead me here.

 

[Bishop]

No I don't believe in destiny

 

[iwkmsssb]

i was set up for failure ever since i was young. there is something deeply wrong with me mentally and its impacted me most of my life whether it comes to severe anxiety over the smallest things or having depressive episodes when things go to bad. i've sh trying to cope but it only gives little relief these days. i'm not build for this world and nothing i can do is out of the ordinary, im not special or skilled in any way. i do what im told and i have no real ambitions. i just want it all to end.

 

[_Minsk]

no, but my environment/circumstances definitely contributed a lot and made a negative outcome more likely

 

[violetforever]

as if the generational abuse and trauma would pass me over lol. yes i was destined to fail. i always knew it. being suicidal and pretty much giving up on a future since i was 11 solidified it. i couldnt see beyond the abuse of my parents and even as an adult i still cant. it ruined me forever. everything is so difficult and i cant function like normal.

 

[hurts2b]

Most of my life has been lived under poor conditions.

On the one hand, I don't know if my reaction to those circumstances (and my becoming a failure) was inevitable. Like another person who replied to this thread, I don't believe in destiny.

On the other hand, I probably wasn't going to end up a super well adjusted person now was I?

 

[tomatobastard]

i think so. I never was able to succeed or excel in anything, school or sports or even just basic things everyone somehow already knows like unlocking a door with a key. I'm serious, i struggled to unlock and open the front door just yesterday because i didn't even realize the top lock was...locked.
I think i'll be stupid forever it's almost comical at how bad i am at everything.

 

[boilingfishcakes]

I 100% believe that I was destined to fail. Even at an early age I knew something wasn't quite right with me. I think if I had a better family I wouldn't have turned out like this.

My family was made of low income addicts who were violent. My mother is severely mentally ill and pulled my brother and I out of school after 3rd grade so I did not step foot in a school until I entered the foster care system as a teenager. My father is an Iraq vet and a severe alcoholic+ opioid addict. My family chose to move to a very rural part of the country and kept me very isolated while they whipped me with extension cords and made me sleep outside. Instead of attending school and making happy memories with other children, I was in my closet trying to hang myself with a belt or cutting myself. When I entered the foster care system, I lived in a filthy trailer with 5 other kids and then was moved to a residential facility because I kept trying to ctb , which started a years long cycle of me being shuffled in and out of psych wards. After aging out the system I was homeless on and off until I was 20, which definitely made shit worse. The only time my life was good was when I ran away to another country with nothing but the clothes on my back and a passport.

Honestly, I think poverty , lack of care from my family, extreme physical and sexual abuse, and the foster care system is what caused a lot of my issues. Stuff that I had 0 control of because I was a kid with no power or control. Now I am just a very mentally ill and uneducated person who cannot hold down a job, go to the grocery store, or live a normal life. Stability is an alien concept to me. But lets face it, I was doomed the moment my parents treated a condom like an afterthought.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I think I had it until 13. After that I saw a progressive decline of things in more than one aspect and field. Everything went south and things became more and more unbearable, heavy and painful. I think what marked my downfall as a person was my family, pretty sure. I was destined to fall for two reasons: them, and my inability to adapt to that trauma and overcome it due to a series of circumstances.

That has led me to become slowly unfit for life, due to a chain of problems that only grew stronger. I was destined to fail because of that in my opinion and now I can't see a reason not the power to endure things and just go on, in the solitude of my existence with no friends and the chains of my entire family who has only brought me down progressively over the course of a decade.

 

[crossingtheriver]

My life went off the rails at the age 6/7 when my mother decided to put me in boarding school. I'm 33 now but through years of therapy I could now understand what started all of it. It's when I was put in hostel, I remember I used to CRY by shouting the whole Sunday evening till midnight. You can imagine what it would do the psyche of a 6 years old. It permanently altered my nervous system, life long fear psychosis, lifelong abandonment issues, profound anxiety, stuttering in speech. There's just no coming back

 

[iblamethemfr]

I didn't start with the same freedom or support that some people had, and I'm angry about how much that has cost me. But I'm still living with the consequences of that environment, not looking back on a life I personally destroyed.

 

[The Disqualified]

I don't believe in destiny.
That said, I grew up in horrible conditions in terms of emotional and psychological development. There have been many obstacles in my life. I could keep pushing through them, but Life just keeps putting new obstacles on my track, and I just can't keep pushing forever.
Overall, I just feel like I am missing the drive, the vitality, the smile that keeps others living.
I don't know how they do it. They have a car crash one day, and commute to work the day after as if nothing happened.
I guess I am too sensitive; everything traumatizes me even more, perhaps because I haven't fully healed from the past.