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Ventslop
Thread starterSomegirlinhere
Start date
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ahh, its as if ill always be a mess, cause i try to organize my identity and emotions into something tangible, and it changes- just like that! Maybe Its normal. I just wish I had a stable mood, I cant be happy over being happy if Im aware of how suicidal I was last week. Im going to hang on, though. Keep fighting, keep fighthing.
Reactions:
EmptyBottle, heatnormal, Kanau_Nano and 2 others
No, literally. I can't be happy for more than a couple hours without preparing for something awful to happen. At this point I've completely given up on the idea that things will get better long-term. I might have a good month or two (very rarely), but it's only ever because of external things happening in my life (like when I'm dating someone).
Reactions:
EmptyBottle, Kanau_Nano and Somegirlinhere
Being happy at all is a victory. Knowing it won't last or that you were unhappy last week should not be allowed to rob you of enjoying the moments in the sun that you do get.
Sometimes you just live in the chaos. Stop trying to organise your identity and emotions and give yourself over to them.
I did learn to control my emotions somewhat and it just leaves you feeling numb. Celebrate being happy because it's not something you can control. Live in the moment because you cannot change the past you can only control the present and hope for the best for the future.
Indeed, it's annoying how often one's mood can change... would be cool if there was a way to further reduce how often I feel annoyed (Was annoyed today that a fuse tripped, and I wasn't allowed to reset the breaker, the person who did turned everything off for a few seconds, interrupting PC work too)
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