Venting misery

[sleepydeaths]

sorry for the constant posting. hopefully it's not a bother

ive been doing nothing but crying or cutting all day today so far. im so sick and tired. i contacted 988 chat twice. the first time i cancelled before the chat started and the second I did connect with someone but i left the website for a moment and we lost connection so i didn't bother trying for a third time.

im sick and tired. i have extreme suicidal ideation and a lot of thoughts. i feel so miserable. this is hell.

i don't want to exist like this and im so sick and tired of having to. my thighs hurt and i feel nauseous due to how miserable i am. i feel like shit. i want to die so.fucking badly. i told myself i won't do anything but im really considering.

i don't think i can do this. im going to have to pretend im a functioning human being tomorrow and i don't know if ill be able to. im so tired.

 

[aRose]

I'm trying to schedule suicide between work obligations. How fucked is that? Figured it's the only way people will realize I'm missing at all.
Mondays are shit but they are especially shit when you dream of dying all weekend.

 

[sleepydeaths]

deciding to use this as a general vent thread. hopefully that's fine

I haven't cut today yet but i want to. ever since saturday night i haven't been able to do anything but self harm and be catatonic.. i hate being like this. i hate being unable to be fixed. i hate having people worry about me when im on this path of destruction. i just want to not exist. im exhausted and so sad and miserable