Venting I know that I don't want to kill myself.

[defrauder9000]

I know I want to live but... My life is painful. I know that the light at the end of tunnel is here but, i'm impaitient. I know that, yet in my stubbornness i delude myself into thinking there isn't. i know people love me.... but i can't fell their love. isn't it ironic how that the times that i realize this, i cry the most? it's managable. i know it is. i just need to have the power to do it.

 

[R. A.]

I think hardly any of us wants to do the deed. We just want sweet release.
How lucky are those who go to sleep, and never wake up!

 

[SadGirl]

I know I want to live but... My life is painful. I know that the light at the end of tunnel is here but, i'm impaitient. I know that, yet in my stubbornness i delude myself into thinking there isn't. i know people love me.... but i can't fell their love. isn't it ironic how that the times that i realize this, i cry the most? it's managable. i know it is. i just need to have the power to do it.

I really identified with this; I think it's the same way I feel. I don't know how to deal with it either; I just know it has to do with low self-esteem. Strength to us.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I know I want to live but... My life is painful. I know that the light at the end of tunnel is here but, i'm impaitient. I know that, yet in my stubbornness i delude myself into thinking there isn't. i know people love me.... but i can't fell their love. isn't it ironic how that the times that i realize this, i cry the most? it's managable. i know it is. i just need to have the power to do it.

In my experience, life has a way of forcing us to be patient. If you know things will get better but you choose suicide anyway? Your attempt will likely fail. That's how the universe works, at least in my experience. But when life finally does get better...I can personally attest that it is so, so worth it.

 

[fedup1982]

It sounds like your mental health is hiding things from you that you'd normally feel. If you can cry about not being able to feel love, that absolutely tells me that once you're over mental illness you'll be able to feel it again. I strongly think this is just a bad phase for you and if you see it through, you'll be on the other side far better off. If you can cry about not feeling love, that tells me you do feel it, just in a transmuted way. Please don't do anything you'd regret in your better days to come!