how do you feel right now? don’t even think about it, just type.

[Sprite_Geist]

I am feeling angry and trapped. Though I cannot explain the reasons why I am feeling this way which is frustrating. Even if I could explain them I do not have anyone in the real world to talk to.

 

[dearlydeparted44]

I feel relieved knowing that I'm finally going to be gone this week.

 

[wilting_flower]

Restless. I can't decide on a date but I have the method. and sometimes I wonder if ctb is really what I want. I know that life is likely never going to be what I want it to be and that I'll be just surviving, numbing, and succumbing to some kind of addiction forever. that's what makes me want to exit. I wonder if it's worth the little moments of genuine happiness I get every now and then.

Then there's the fact that the world is objectively fucked. I'm also just scared that maybe if I die I will come back as someone else or repeat my life all over again. makes me wish I'd just get it done and over with.

 

[AuraByte]

Lost.

 

[Reywashere]

I feel excited yet so nervous and scared. I don't know what tne future holds and I hate not knowing that.

 

[RadioRamen]

I'm tired of being constantly criticized, constantly being put down and complaints against every little action I do regardless of what it is , I'm stuck in a marriage I feel I'm the only one trying to still make work and I'm only met with hostility and made to feel like a guest in my own home , to be made to feel like a pathetic nuisance to her no matter what I do , the pain of watching someone who was in love with you completely fall out of it and have nothing but disdain for you . I'm tired I'm exhausted and I have gone through a very long year where I feel like nothing I can do will make me feel happy again .

 

[Hime]

Disassociated. I feel stuck at a crossroads, where neither option of life or death makes me feel anything anymore. My psychiatrist said I'm "ambivalent towards life", which I think fits well.

I wonder when or if this hollow feeling will go away. I've just been so confused as of late, I was so certain about ctb for years, and now I feel like I'm chained up in my own mind - unable to take a step in any direction.

There are times where these extreme urges come, but I've managed to suppress them so far with benzos + sleep. Although it makes me wonder, am I trying to convince myself to live a life I don't want? Am I delaying the inevitable? Or what am I exactly doing?..

Honestly, I think the only thing keeping me alive at this point is my cat. I was a short moment away from passing earlier this year, but stopped when I realized I wanted to play with her instead. She's my everything.

 

[hmnow]

Feeling ready mentally for my last journey

 

[Paraskas]

i feel empty and numb. i feel lost. i don't think i'm doing anything correctly, but i'm so drained at this point i don't really fucking care.

i feel like if my depressed best friend attempts again and successfully does it then I'll end up joining him

 

[snailfish3000]

empty and extremely lonely

 

[Aquinas]

Directionless and a little lonely

 

[Myrth]

Extremely bad

 

[somethingisntreal]

I wish I was a better person I wish i knew how to actually talk to people like a normal person everyone I talk to ends up ghosting me because I'm annoying and honestly i really am i want to get better but i dont know how I want ro cry so bad but the tears just won't come out sad music doesn't work anymore I want release from this terrible life but they took my sn i dont have a rope i just want to drive to the tallest building in my town and jump off it but obviously I'm too lazy to do it being lazy has doomed my life sorry for this poorly written rant i am once again clogging a thread with a post about my imaginary problems


I wish I never existed. I want to disappear from this world without hurting anyone. I should have died along with my mom's previous miscarriages. My existence was a mistake I should have never been conceived

 

[americanoomad]

Hopeless, and I feel like I can't see the way out. I have a final exam tomorrow and though I tried to study, I just couldn't bring myself to focus and I have a feeling that I might fail this course (which I have somehow made peace with). My AA sponsor has been busy for the past week so she hasn't responded to my texts but it's nice to know that some other people care enough to check in on me to make sure I'm still alive. Still, a part of me feels that all of this is superficial and that at the end of the day, nobody actually cares that much — there is much more important stuff going on in the world. I've reached the lowest of lows and cannot stop thinking about leaving everything behind, but even gathering the energy to CTB feels like it would take too much effort. It feels like I'm stuck in limbo.

 

[AprilsForeignWinds]

Like that feeling when the big drop comes on a rollercoaster, except I'm on 70 rollercoasters, and the devil is whispering things to me as I fall. He's saying sinful things to me, so that It's the last thing I hear before I die and he guarantees I go to hell. Also, there's bugs all over the rollercoaster cart I'm on, and on the drop they all fly up onto my face. And now I have holes in my skin because bugs have burrowed into it, and a strange man is in my peripheral always. Also all my friends are being kidnapped right this very moment, and my sister is falling eye first onto broken glass.

 

[SpencerSees]

fucked up another opportunity to communicate. i dont even know what i did but its once again me being viewed as weird. i have something inherently wrong with me, and i always did. if only i could throw up all of it and become a different, normal person

 

[drkptrn]

I have danced with the idea of my departure for months now, the more I look, the more I see reasons for it. I know after I die I will be fine and I know I am just not built for this world. There was a time where I was hopeful, about my future, about dreams and etc. but not anymore, I have probably so many mental health problems I don't even know where to begin. The only thing I am sorry for is for the people I leave behind because they are not bad people, they are loving but also with their own issues themselves which may have indirectly influenced me who am I as a person and my pains and behaviour. (which has led me to this state). But in the end I am forgiving because everyone does what they are capable (including me), everyone has their own capacity. I don't really hold any grudges against anyone, what is meant to be will be.

Maybe it's my pride showing and selfishness but I cannot endure more humiliation I am being put through and feel even from myself. Hopefully I will join the stars soon.

 

[lemonandcapers]

I feel like a sickly animal, limping and crawling through each day and begging to be put down. The poison grows stronger until all I can think about the contrast between the nothingness of death and suffering of life.

 

[darksouls]

I live in icy cold and the icy cold lives in my soul

 

[socksnsandles]

jaded

 

[Black_Knight]

I feel like I'm in a situation where there is no solution

 

[EmptyBottle]

• Feel glad that I fixed a long running bug with my nickname animation on another site (for the easter egg function, merely removed an !important CSS tag and that worked).
• I feel like this should somehow be merged into this thread, or vice versa: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ng-right-now-dont-think-just-type.9029/latest ; For reference, this is the thread I'm posting on: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-even-think-about-it-just-type.160743/page-12
• Checking here got me briefly confused that my replies weren't there, then I thought "what if it's a duplicate" and confirmed it.

 

[kipstriesagain]

Terrible. I've felt nothing but empty all day. I wish I could sleep some more

 

[Hime]

Rough night. Got lifted spirits from hopping back on SaSu. It's really comforting doing the silly counting games together with everyone, feels like a check-up with a group, that everyone is still alive and trying their best. It's wholesome.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Rough night. Got lifted spirits from hopping back on SaSu. It's really comforting doing the silly counting games together with everyone, feels like a check-up with a group, that everyone is still alive and trying their best. It's wholesome.

mm, the counting games do feel cool, I like seeing number go brrr, and knowing ppl here are around for me to talk to

 

[Hime]

mm, the counting games do feel cool, I like seeing number go brrr, and knowing ppl here are around for me to talk to

yusss, yapping with people is really nice. it's also a nice dopamine kick seeing the number go higher and higher up.

i just wish i had access to the chat i keep reading about... but patience is a virtue, im sure ill have access soon.

 

[EmptyBottle]

yusss, yapping with people is really nice. it's also a nice dopamine kick seeing the number go higher and higher up.

i just wish i had access to the chat i keep reading about... but patience is a virtue, im sure ill have access soon.

hmm, that gives me clues about the chat requirement... I thought it was 50 posts but it's probably 50 posts plus some time.

The chat is a little too active for me, since I have other chats I go to, and occasionally check it out.

 

[darksouls]

afraid of afterlife

 

[Hime]

hmm, that gives me clues about the chat requirement... I thought it was 50 posts but it's probably 50 posts plus some time.

that's my guess also. i think my account just needs to be older now to get in.

 

[EmptyBottle]

that's my guess also. i think my account just needs to be older now to get in.

since it's older than 2 weeks, it could be a round number like 3 or 4 weeks... or a round amount of days like 20 or 30, idk