feeling so lost and hopeless now that sn is no longer an option

[comeoutandhauntme]

i ordered sn from dsl way back in april. i'd been wanting to order it for a couple months before that but kept putting it off bc i was scared, which i regret deeply now. my original order for seized by customs but bc i paid for express shipping dsl sent me another…also seized by customs. decided to just fuck it and pay for another the other day, only to go and see that the website no longer exists.

i feel totally hopeless and lost and just so frustrated i wasn't able to get my sn. i'm not aware of any other source and when i tried to order from like a chemical warehouse thing they wouldn't let me bc obviously i don't have a business address.

this whole year, really especially since discovering this website, i've had one thought in the back of my mind that's kept me sane: "it's okay, i'm going to ctb as soon as i can." once i had finally ordered the sn it was just a matter of it getting here and i was gone. but now it wont ever get here.

i don't know what to do. i have access to a couple of handguns but worry they wouldn't work well or that i'd be able to overcome my si enough to actually pull the trigger. same with hanging- i could easily get the rope but worry i wouldn't be able to tie it correctly, find a good spot, and overcome si enough to go through with it.

i feel stuck and out of options. what am i supposed to do? how else am i supposed to ctb? say fuck it and hope the handgun works? i was supposed to already be dead, but at the very latest was not trying to make it past the summer. now i feel eternally stuck and miserable and i can't fucking do anything about it. i'd ask for advice but i don't know if there even is any in this situation. please help

 

[dirkw83]

They r talking about a new source for sn called MIC I think it's called, also it's possible DSL will resurface some time in the future, since he's done that before it's maybe even likely but idk. It's tough out there killing yourself is hard no matter what.

 

[BradGuy123]

I have no idea why DSL went down. It had to be a huge cash cow for the guy. I'm guessing he sold it at a significant markup. Is it possible that law enforcement shut it down or he got some kind of lawsuit or something? If either of those are true, the odds of DSL coming back up again some day are slim. There's always a chance he could bring it back up under that name or a different name but if he felt legal consequences from running DSL I'd say the odds are against it. Yeah I thought about ordering it as well in case I ever had to CTB some day but it probably has some kind of shelf life or expiration date.

 

[HollowSoul]

I feel the same, SN was my perfect method but now it seems imposible to get...

 

[Raindancer]

It's tough out there killing yourself is hard no matter what.

A lot tougher than I thought it was going to be.

 

[Rick&Morty1]

Lo

i ordered sn from dsl way back in april. i'd been wanting to order it for a couple months before that but kept putting it off bc i was scared, which i regret deeply now. my original order for seized by customs but bc i paid for express shipping dsl sent me another…also seized by customs. decided to just fuck it and pay for another the other day, only to go and see that the website no longer exists.

i feel totally hopeless and lost and just so frustrated i wasn't able to get my sn. i'm not aware of any other source and when i tried to order from like a chemical warehouse thing they wouldn't let me bc obviously i don't have a business address.

this whole year, really especially since discovering this website, i've had one thought in the back of my mind that's kept me sane: "it's okay, i'm going to ctb as soon as i can." once i had finally ordered the sn it was just a matter of it getting here and i was gone. but now it wont ever get here.

i don't know what to do. i have access to a couple of handguns but worry they wouldn't work well or that i'd be able to overcome my si enough to actually pull the trigger. same with hanging- i could easily get the rope but worry i wouldn't be able to tie it correctly, find a good spot, and overcome si enough to go through with it.

i feel stuck and out of options. what am i supposed to do? how else am i supposed to ctb? say fuck it and hope the handgun works? i was supposed to already be dead, but at the very latest was not trying to make it past the summer. now i feel eternally stuck and miserable and i can't fucking do anything about it. i'd ask for advice but i don't know if there even is any in this situation. please help

Look if you're in north America there still are sources for SN (private ones)but you shouldn't be looking at the known websites that have crippled by the heavy demand also there are local ones as well if you just know where to look

 

[howtounborn]

I have no idea why DSL went down. It had to be a huge cash cow for the guy. I'm guessing he sold it at a significant markup. Is it possible that law enforcement shut it down or he got some kind of lawsuit or something? If either of those are true, the odds of DSL coming back up again some day are slim. There's always a chance he could bring it back up under that name or a different name but if he felt legal consequences from running DSL I'd say the odds are against it. Yeah I thought about ordering it as well in case I ever had to CTB some day but it probably has some kind of shelf life or expiration date.

A mother from Canada found out that her daughter CTBed using SN from DSL, they even reached out to the DSL site owner for comment. His name is known to the public because of an article published by the BBC a few years ago, but because of these recent developments he has more heat on him. His packages aren't even leaving his home country (or so I've heard) so I don't think there will be much success in getting SN from him right now.

When I searched this site for finding DSL, I found that previously it used to be something called DMC and that got taken down. So there is a chance that it comes back but most probably under a different name. The shelf life of SN, if left unopened is more than 10 years as far as I've read in the PPH.

Lo

Look if you're in north America there still are sources for SN (private ones)but you shouldn't be looking at the known websites that have crippled by the heavy demand also there are local ones as well if you just know where to look

Are you talking about the brick & mortar source?

 

[comeoutandhauntme]

Lo

Look if you're in north America there still are sources for SN (private ones)but you shouldn't be looking at the known websites that have crippled by the heavy demand also there are local ones as well if you just know where to look

well i don't know where to look…that's my problem. dsl was the only legit source i knew of that would actually deliver to me. now it's gone and i'm kinda fucked

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand as all I want is a peaceful, poison method, I see so much terrible cruelty in how such a way to cease existing is made inaccessible by those who want to force others to suffer for as long as possible, I always suffer so much from being trapped in this terrible, torturous existence, I hope you find peace.

 

[User8]

i ordered sn from dsl way back in april. i'd been wanting to order it for a couple months before that but kept putting it off bc i was scared, which i regret deeply now. my original order for seized by customs but bc i paid for express shipping dsl sent me another…also seized by customs. decided to just fuck it and pay for another the other day, only to go and see that the website no longer exists.

i feel totally hopeless and lost and just so frustrated i wasn't able to get my sn. i'm not aware of any other source and when i tried to order from like a chemical warehouse thing they wouldn't let me bc obviously i don't have a business address.

this whole year, really especially since discovering this website, i've had one thought in the back of my mind that's kept me sane: "it's okay, i'm going to ctb as soon as i can." once i had finally ordered the sn it was just a matter of it getting here and i was gone. but now it wont ever get here.

i don't know what to do. i have access to a couple of handguns but worry they wouldn't work well or that i'd be able to overcome my si enough to actually pull the trigger. same with hanging- i could easily get the rope but worry i wouldn't be able to tie it correctly, find a good spot, and overcome si enough to go through with it.

i feel stuck and out of options. what am i supposed to do? how else am i supposed to ctb? say fuck it and hope the handgun works? i was supposed to already be dead, but at the very latest was not trying to make it past the summer. now i feel eternally stuck and miserable and i can't fucking do anything about it. i'd ask for advice but i don't know if there even is any in this situation. please help