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Do benzos actually work for this? My suicidal ideation is fuelled by anxiety, I've got easy access to xans but I'm worried if I get rid of my anxiety I won't want to CTB anymore lol.
I've been thinking of doing practice runs for partial hanging (my method of choice) until I normalise the idea and become comfortable with it.
Yeah you don't really care about anything while on benzos in my experience, it's also good for anxiety. I would advise against getting inebriated and impulsively killing yourself, though.
I feel like impulse is the true way to go, for me at least. The attempt I've made before was pure impulse and, if anything, I regret it didn't pan out, even though a lot of nice things have happened since. I feel like without a strong impulse I'll never be able to get myself to do it, not with endless deliberation. I've been thinking of having everything prepared and in-place so on a slightly shittier day I go through without thinking it through too much. The most annoying thing is having 0 future prospects and having to watch everything get worse and bleaker endlessly and still unable to go through with it.
