Venting am 24Y.O but i am like a 5Y.O mentally

[thereisnoneed]

Basically i can't take care of my self or deal with the outside world or people in general, i am too clumsy, i suck at many everyday things that are meant to be second hand nature to me, i am treated like a mentally handicapped person by my family and everyone i know I.R.L, for starters i can't even have a short talk with my own father or siblings i struggle to express thoughts or emotions clearly, sometimes words don't even come out and i just end up making odd repetitive noises and body movements, hell i can't even speak my country's language well at all, this is due to severe social isolation and spending all my life on western internet, i can't even tie my shoes, sometimes i can't open the door with the keys even after doing it properly many times, and i get the need to ask outsiders to help to open the house's door, my parents don't even trust me to take the keys with me outside, they have not started allowing me to take them with me until very recently, they think am retarded and would lose them, they also don't allow me to take cash with me outside for groceries because i fear i would lose it, i am treated like a subhuman, and i can't blame them, i am really retarded and have always been bad with many everyday things that are second nature to everyone, help my dad even refused to get me a laptop because he feared i would let fall to the ground and break it, i have always been treated like a retard (for good reasons) and my family being overly sheltering fucked it even more, i don't even know how or what to do or where to go to when i want to ask for a taxi or bus, i have been a NEET/hiki for most of my life by now, there are many examples i can give but, ugh, i look as pathetic as i am already, basically everyone I.R.L says there's something wrong with my head, i think i am brain damaged or my mom dropped me as a baby.

 

[Mooncry]

I relate. I was (and still am somewhat) treated like a child for the majority of my life. Only very recently, like in the last couple years, have I finally been able to break out of that curse and be treated like I'm not a literal baby by my family, even though I'm still infantilized by strangers who assume I'm far younger than my age. I'm short and small with a young face, and my autism makes me extremely socially awkward.

I'm also NEET and basically a shut-in. My anxiety and AvPD make living a normal life impossible, and being treated like a child at every job I've ever had has humiliated me and completely destroyed my confidence. This world isn't kind to people who don't fit society's strict, unfair standards. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You're just as valid and worthy as anybody else.

 

[thereisnoneed]

i am not convinced that i am disabled or can't work even if i get told that regularly, i would just need a patient employer, which's impossible without connections.

I relate. I was (and still am somewhat) treated like a child for the majority of my life. Only very recently, like in the last couple years, have I finally been able to break out of that curse and be treated like I'm not a literal baby by my family, even though I'm still infantilized by strangers who assume I'm far younger than my age. I'm short and small with a young face, and my autism makes me extremely socially awkward.

I'm also NEET and basically a shut-in. My anxiety and AvPD make living a normal life impossible, and being treated like a child at every job I've ever had has humiliated me and completely destroyed my confidence. This world isn't kind to people who don't fit society's strict, unfair standards. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You're just as valid and worthy as anybody else.

 

[The Unanswered Q]

Same, do have brain damage and don't see the point in living with it. What's the point of living if it's basically guaranteed you'll never accomplish anything?

 

[daveyc]

I can relate. I'm 29 years old and I cannot even read.

I wish schools actually taught children how to read and write like they're supposed to. Instead, they teach children that bullying and sexual harassment are normal.

 

[bratwurststodeath]

Basically i can't take care of my self or deal with the outside world or people in general, i am too clumsy, i suck at many everyday things that are meant to be second hand nature to me, i am treated like a mentally handicapped person by my family and everyone i know I.R.L, for starters i can't even have a short talk with my own father or siblings i struggle to express thoughts or emotions clearly, sometimes words don't even come out and i just end up making odd repetitive noises and body movements, hell i can't even speak my country's language well at all, this is due to severe social isolation and spending all my life on western internet, i can't even tie my shoes, sometimes i can't open the door with the keys even after doing it properly many times, and i get the need to ask outsiders to help to open the house's door, my parents don't even trust me to take the keys with me outside, they have not started allowing me to take them with me until very recently, they think am retarded and would lose them, they also don't allow me to take cash with me outside for groceries because i fear i would lose it, i am treated like a subhuman, and i can't blame them, i am really retarded and have always been bad with many everyday things that are second nature to everyone, help my dad even refused to get me a laptop because he feared i would let fall to the ground and break it, i have always been treated like a retard (for good reasons) and my family being overly sheltering fucked it even more, i don't even know how or what to do or where to go to when i want to ask for a taxi or bus, i have been a NEET/hiki for most of my life by now, there are many examples i can give but, ugh, i look as pathetic as i am already, basically everyone I.R.L says there's something wrong with my head, i think i am brain damaged or my mom dropped me as a baby.

you are not alon e.. I am 18 but i am like im stuck at 7 years old. I hope we can be friends. You deserve goodness in life.

 

[thereisnoneed]

you are not alon e.. I am 18 but i am like im stuck at 7 years old. I hope we can be friends. You deserve goodness in life.

my discord is 17cure if you wish to be friends

 

[bratwurststodeath]

my discord is 17cure if you wish to be friends

okay, mine is dailyhorsefacts :]

 

[Amile]

same, i have 23, mentally i'm 10, but in energy i'm 80.

 

[looking4partner]

I relate to this except somehow, I also developed physical & neurological disabilities later in life, so now I am even more dependent than I was before :(

And I had finally learned how to do some things on my own after being extremely controlled due to parent's anxiety (even trying to learn how to do most of it by myself with no advice or backup support available if I made a mistake caused massive anxiety).

I hope this is not upsetting because I know unsolicited advice can be annoying, but you can ignore it if it's not helpful. I only wanted to try & help

I hope this is not offensive, but some things you may want to look into that could possibly cause what you described:

Autism

ADHD (it h as been said that attention regulation disorder would be a better/more accurate name)

Dyspraxia (not being able to tie shoelaces is actually in the first sentence of the definition as an example)

Idk if it is helpful for you, these are more words/aspects associated with the first 2 conditions that I have learned a lot from reading about them:

Executive Function
Pathological Demand Avoidance
Prosopagnosia
Alexithymia
Dyscalculia
Auditory Processing Disorder
Misophonia
Sensory sensitivity (sensory-avoidant, sensory-seeking, hypersensitivity, hyposensitivity, sensory overload)

If your area has an autism group, some of them don't require a diagnosis to attend and share information about resources such as teaching living skills, DVR, asking for accomodations, & hopefully, how to find screening with a knowledgeable psychologist because not all of them are even some of the ones who claim to specialize in diagnosing neurodivergent conditions. (I think my area is known for having more of these types of programs. Unfortunately, I developed worse disabilities during the time that I was trying to look into them.) And possibly therapy for neurodivergent clients (because regular therapy is not designed/accomodated for neurodivergent brains unless a therapist adjusts treatment to be more understanding of those traits and learning styles which would usually require them to do more research or be neurodivergent themselves.)

If you are in the U.S., DVR (Department of Vocational Rehabilitation) helps people with disabilities to find jobs that will accommodate them. And I think they are supposed to help with finding a place that will set up needed accommodations. Tbh, they don't always listen and it takes a year to get to the job part because they have people take a bunch of job surveys and then try volunteering and don't always check in with you by an email or phone call. But, I feel like it's less overwhelming at least with someone else's help.

There's also a program called JobCorps, but I don't really know how that works.

Anyway, DVR also helps people with mental illness also, so you wouldn't necessarily need a specific diagnosis besides that. And I just thought I would tell you about that since you were interested in working and they might be able to help with finding jobs open to hiring people who need patient employers. And they are free since it's run by the state. (If you're not in the U.S., googling "[country name]'s version of Department of Vocational Rehabilitation" could possibly show something similar, but I'm not sure.

 

[thereisnoneed]

I relate to this except somehow, I also developed physical & neurological disabilities later in life, so now I am even more dependent than I was before :(

And I had finally learned how to do some things on my own after being extremely controlled due to parent's anxiety (even trying to learn how to do most of it by myself with no advice or backup support available if I made a mistake caused massive anxiety).

I hope this is not upsetting because I know unsolicited advice can be annoying, but you can ignore it if it's not helpful. I only wanted to try & help

I hope this is not offensive, but some things you may want to look into that could possibly cause what you described:

Autism

ADHD (it h as been said that attention regulation disorder would be a better/more accurate name)

Dyspraxia (not being able to tie shoelaces is actually in the first sentence of the definition as an example)

Idk if it is helpful for you, these are more words/aspects associated with the first 2 conditions that I have learned a lot from reading about them:

Executive Function
Pathological Demand Avoidance
Prosopagnosia
Alexithymia
Dyscalculia
Auditory Processing Disorder
Misophonia
Sensory sensitivity (sensory-avoidant, sensory-seeking, hypersensitivity, hyposensitivity, sensory overload)

If your area has an autism group, some of them don't require a diagnosis to attend and share information about resources such as teaching living skills, DVR, asking for accomodations, & hopefully, how to find screening with a knowledgeable psychologist because not all of them are even some of the ones who claim to specialize in diagnosing neurodivergent conditions. (I think my area is known for having more of these types of programs. Unfortunately, I developed worse disabilities during the time that I was trying to look into them.) And possibly therapy for neurodivergent clients (because regular therapy is not designed/accomodated for neurodivergent brains unless a therapist adjusts treatment to be more understanding of those traits and learning styles which would usually require them to do more research or be neurodivergent themselves.)

If you are in the U.S., DVR (Department of Vocational Rehabilitation) helps people with disabilities to find jobs that will accommodate them. And I think they are supposed to help with finding a place that will set up needed accommodations. Tbh, they don't always listen and it takes a year to get to the job part because they have people take a bunch of job surveys and then try volunteering and don't always check in with you by an email or phone call. But, I feel like it's less overwhelming at least with someone else's help.

There's also a program called JobCorps, but I don't really know how that works.

Anyway, DVR also helps people with mental illness also, so you wouldn't necessarily need a specific diagnosis besides that. And I just thought I would tell you about that since you were interested in working and they might be able to help with finding jobs open to hiring people who need patient employers. And they are free since it's run by the state. (If you're not in the U.S., googling "[country name]'s version of Department of Vocational Rehabilitation" could possibly show something similar, but I'm not sure.

sadly none around me knows what autism even is or any of the disorders you mentioned, they're more likely to believe am possessed or under the effect of watchcraft/evil eye than anything of that sort

 

[lemonandcapers]

Basically i can't take care of my self or deal with the outside world or people in general, i am too clumsy, i suck at many everyday things that are meant to be second hand nature to me, i am treated like a mentally handicapped person by my family and everyone i know I.R.L, for starters i can't even have a short talk with my own father or siblings i struggle to express thoughts or emotions clearly, sometimes words don't even come out and i just end up making odd repetitive noises and body movements, hell i can't even speak my country's language well at all, this is due to severe social isolation and spending all my life on western internet, i can't even tie my shoes, sometimes i can't open the door with the keys even after doing it properly many times, and i get the need to ask outsiders to help to open the house's door, my parents don't even trust me to take the keys with me outside, they have not started allowing me to take them with me until very recently, they think am retarded and would lose them, they also don't allow me to take cash with me outside for groceries because i fear i would lose it, i am treated like a subhuman, and i can't blame them, i am really retarded and have always been bad with many everyday things that are second nature to everyone, help my dad even refused to get me a laptop because he feared i would let fall to the ground and break it, i have always been treated like a retard (for good reasons) and my family being overly sheltering fucked it even more, i don't even know how or what to do or where to go to when i want to ask for a taxi or bus, i have been a NEET/hiki for most of my life by now, there are many examples i can give but, ugh, i look as pathetic as i am already, basically everyone I.R.L says there's something wrong with my head, i think i am brain damaged or my mom dropped me as a baby.

Even if you are mentally disabled, you deserve to be treated as a regular human being instead of a child. It sounds like you struggle a lot already, and your parents are not helping with that. I understand if they are trying to be helpful, but it can feel demoralizing. Your ability to do the things you have listed does not negate your value as a human being. I hope you are able to find workarounds for this in the future or potentially learn what disability you have, so you can work towards living better.

 

[looking4partner]

sadly none around me knows what autism even is or any of the disorders you mentioned, they're more likely to believe am possessed or under the effect of watchcraft/evil eye than anything of that sort

Just so you know, most of what I listed after ADHD are, like, aspects of either autism or ADHD. I don't know how to explain, but, like, not exactly different disorders. I'm pretty sure every autistic & ADHD person has almost all of them (except for the learning disabilities like dyscalculia.) If they don't, then maybe I do have more struggles than I realized. It just seems like it could be overwhelming to consider them all separate disorders when they are more similar to a list of possible "traits" of ADHD & autism. Idk if that is helpful.

My family is the same. They told me that depression was demons growing up. Prayed to rebuke something out of me during the time I was having one of my disability symptoms that causes intense panic even after I asked them to stop because it was triggering negative childhood memories of them sobbing and I was stuck praying for them for hours instead of them going to a counselor or another adult.
And said they would pray for me to be healed from autism & ADHD when I told them about those because I thought they would help me get tested and figure out the process for that. And my other parent thinks I have been cursed. And I think I have some sort of OCD about hell, demons, spirits, and the devil now, so hearing all that makes my anxiety and panic way worse. And I'm avoiding the parent who said I'm cursed because I'm afraid they would try to do some kind of exorcism to me during my symptoms which I know would make the terrifying panic/anxiety worse.

I hope you are able to learn about them on your own time if you want. I have seen autistic & ADHD creators who make videos & shorts about a lot of them on YouTube also. (My parents also treated me like I'm incapable, but I was still able to learn certain things that even surprised me. It would have been nice to have some help learning it though. The sad thing is if parents like that gave their kids more freedom and ability to make mistakes when they're younger, their kid would probably become more capable and gain confidence to help their self-esteem and possibly have less anxiety.)

 

[thereisnoneed]

Just so you know, most of what I listed after ADHD are, like, aspects of either autism or ADHD. I don't know how to explain, but, like, not exactly different disorders. I'm pretty sure every autistic & ADHD person has almost all of them (except for the learning disabilities like dyscalculia.) If they don't, then maybe I do have more struggles than I realized. It just seems like it could be overwhelming to consider them all separate disorders when they are more similar to a list of possible "traits" of ADHD & autism. Idk if that is helpful.

My family is the same. They told me that depression was demons growing up. Prayed to rebuke something out of me during the time I was having one of my disability symptoms that causes intense panic even after I asked them to stop because it was triggering negative childhood memories of them sobbing and I was stuck praying for them for hours instead of them going to a counselor or another adult.
And said they would pray for me to be healed from autism & ADHD when I told them about those because I thought they would help me get tested and figure out the process for that. And my other parent thinks I have been cursed. And I think I have some sort of OCD about hell, demons, spirits, and the devil now, so hearing all that makes my anxiety and panic way worse. And I'm avoiding the parent who said I'm cursed because I'm afraid they would try to do some kind of exorcism to me during my symptoms which I know would make the terrifying panic/anxiety worse.

I hope you are able to learn about them on your own time if you want. I have seen autistic & ADHD creators who make videos & shorts about a lot of them on YouTube also. (My parents also treated me like I'm incapable, but I was still able to learn certain things that even surprised me. It would have been nice to have some help learning it though. The sad thing is if parents like that gave their kids more freedom and ability to make mistakes when they're younger, their kid would probably become more capable and gain confidence to help their self-esteem and possibly have less anxiety.)

uff, i did not expect we would have such similar experiences, it's sad even though it's a tiny bit relieving for me knowing i am not the onlyone who's or was in the same exact situtation, thank you a lot for these comments, i can't express my gratitude

 

[telemark05]

Basically i can't take care of my self or deal with the outside world or people in general, i am too clumsy, i suck at many everyday things that are meant to be second hand nature to me, i am treated like a mentally handicapped person by my family and everyone i know I.R.L, for starters i can't even have a short talk with my own father or siblings i struggle to express thoughts or emotions clearly, sometimes words don't even come out and i just end up making odd repetitive noises and body movements, hell i can't even speak my country's language well at all, this is due to severe social isolation and spending all my life on western internet, i can't even tie my shoes, sometimes i can't open the door with the keys even after doing it properly many times, and i get the need to ask outsiders to help to open the house's door, my parents don't even trust me to take the keys with me outside, they have not started allowing me to take them with me until very recently, they think am retarded and would lose them, they also don't allow me to take cash with me outside for groceries because i fear i would lose it, i am treated like a subhuman, and i can't blame them, i am really retarded and have always been bad with many everyday things that are second nature to everyone, help my dad even refused to get me a laptop because he feared i would let fall to the ground and break it, i have always been treated like a retard (for good reasons) and my family being overly sheltering fucked it even more, i don't even know how or what to do or where to go to when i want to ask for a taxi or bus, i have been a NEET/hiki for most of my life by now, there are many examples i can give but, ugh, i look as pathetic as i am already, basically everyone I.R.L says there's something wrong with my head, i think i am brain damaged or my mom dropped me as a baby.

I can kinda relate and it's so sad because I know how stupid I look. I make myself look like an idiot because my focus is so bad, and especially in front of other people. It's the most simple things and yet my brain stops working the second I have to do it, and I forget everything because im always thinking about something else which further pushes people into thinking im an idiot and can't take care of anything myself. It's really frustrating and I know people think there's something wrong with me. Being a self aware "idiot" sucks.

 

[Someonewhotypes]

sounds like they're the problem cause they don't trust you with anything and they made you believe it's your fault that they're behaving that way towards you, which is lowering your self esteem, thinking that you can't do certain things, but you'd most likely be able to do them with some encouragement. Pretty much what I get from your post.

 

[Parnate]

I am so sorry you have to go through all this.

 

[timorousTruant]

I feel this... I have AvPD and agoraphobia and I feel completely helpless on my own. Basic tasks that everyone else can do without even thinking are terrifying, panic-inducing events for me. I wouldn't last long without my parents and I'm almost 21.

 

[thereisnoneed]

I also forget to mention I get fun of and get belittled by my family because i often don't understand jokes nor can tell the difference when someone's being ironic or not