writing suicide notes is so fucking hard. advice?

[wannabeangel]

i've been trying to write my notes, i want a draft them even if i dont have a set date or anything yet. but FUCK its so hard to write them, especially my ones to specific people. i have one main note and then notes for specific people. wording everything i feel is rough, and most of my note is saying im sorry and expressing my love for my family and loved ones. im trying to make a list of wishes for after my death too, mainly what to do with my body. idrc what they do with it, but i want part of me to be in nature somewhere. my dream since i was a kid was to die in a forest, and let nature eat my body and return to the earth.

does anyone have any thoughts or tips for what should be in a note? i know its a very personal thing, but knowing what not to say, and what to say is helpful. i want my note to bring slight relief, i know it will be hard for the people who read it so my efforts may not mean much, but i still wanna try. i try to reassure that it's none of their faults, and that no one could have changed my mind so they don't think they could've done something to stop it

i found this site thats kinda helpful https://archive.ashspace.org/ashbusstop.org/Note.html but i want other people's thoughts and experiences on here please

feel free to share your struggle with writing suicide notes too even if you dont have advice, its just kinda nice knowing im not alone

 

[12345six]

When I wrote my first one I got the general shit out of the way first in a few pages then I titled a paragraph with the name of the person that section was for. Just make sure that whoever finds your note will be kind enough to share the parts you want shared.

 

[wannabeangel]

When I wrote my first one I got the general shit out of the way first in a few pages then I titled a paragraph with the name of the person that section was for. Just make sure that whoever finds your note will be kind enough to share the parts you want shared.

thank you, and i plan to send notes to people by email that i dont think my mom would share. my notes are in word documents so it wont be hard to share with a email that got a timer

 

[iguazo falls]

i wish i had advice. i struggle with this too because i keep going on paranoid rants in it since i know authorities will be going thru my stuff. i think overall if you say its not their faults that will mean the most. the scheduled email thing is a good idea because if for whatever reason you don't go through with it, you have some time to retract them.

for me i struggle with not insulting the coroner/cops etc because i feel they have all violated my mind and privacy since i was young so its hard for me not to get angry and then i get angry about being misunderstood and despite the fact that if i succeeded, i would be dead, and that i know from experience you can't force someone to understand you even if they've spent decades living with you, i feel a need to control the outcome. i don't really feel sorry to most people and then i get mad that any note i meant for anyone gets spread around or my item wishes are not respected. i just want my partner to get the best deal if i go i don't want my parents in my shit then sharing falsehoods to the news. my perspective is different to yours, but man writing a note is hard because you know the ripple effect but theres no guarantee it will do what you want it to or even be read by who you want it to be read by.

 

[1001noites]

when i wrote last year i directed it to 2 online friends and all i could do was thank them for all the times they stood by me
wrote nothing to family i think they know enough
great website you shared btw

 

[Passenger4224]

Some things I realized when planning my notes (maybe some of these will be helpful for you):

-I shouldn't use my notes to try to convince people to see things through my eyes and agree with my decision. They won't, so it's wasted effort.
-I should avoid writing notes to anyone I'm not fond of (if I want them to feel worse).
-There is no right or wrong way to write a note. Some people might have their heart write for them, others like me will only write two sentences. It's up to whatever feels right for you.

I'm also in that loop of changing my mind about how I want to give closure to my friends. Deciding what exactly to write is stressful because of the potential of those words being significant. You aren't alone, just try not to overthink too much!

 

[Bishop]

No notes. For me my exiting is my own. I own no explanation to anyone. And I realize my place in life. If people like Robin Williams and Anthony Bourdain can leave without leaving notes, who am I to need one. No hubris here.

 

[wannabeangel]

Some things I realized when planning my notes (maybe some of these will be helpful for you):

-I shouldn't use my notes to try to convince people to see things through my eyes and agree with my decision. They won't, so it's wasted effort.
-I should avoid writing notes to anyone I'm not fond of (if I want them to feel worse).
-There is no right or wrong way to write a note. Some people might have their heart write for them, others like me will only write two sentences. It's up to whatever feels right for you.

I'm also in that loop of changing my mind about how I want to give closure to my friends. Deciding what exactly to write is stressful because of the potential of those words being significant. You aren't alone, just try not to overthink too much!

thank you that is very helpful! that first tip i think i needed to hear, i try to explain why my death is the best option for me, and not to feel like they could've changed anything. i cant convince them tho i know that, it's hard to try and avoid trying to get them to understand though, i should keep that in mind when going over my notes

i def ain't the type to just write a few sentences, i have too much to say even if i sound repetitive. i have quite a few people i care about too that's including my family, so i feel like i need to write something to them, it feels wrong of me to leave without any sort of goodbye. maybe it's because i worry about being selfish, my parents told me it was selfish when i expressed being suicidal as a teen, so i end up wanting to do what i can for others even if im gone, even if i can only give words it's still something

i'll try to not overthink it too much and just let myself write, its hard not to over analyze what i write but i need to get my shit written so i gotta just do it and not pick apart every little detail

No notes. For me my exiting is my own. I own no explanation to anyone. And I realize my place in life. If people like Robin Williams and Anthony Bourdain can leave without leaving notes, who am I to need one. No hubris here.

i wish i didnt have to write anything at all, but it feels even more hurtful for me to leave nothing when i am leaving behind people who care about me, so it's the least i can do. if i could just abandon everything and die alone then i wouldnt need a note, but i dont know why exactly it feels wrong of me to not leave anything behind

 

[Bitter Almonds]

Part of me wants to write something, just to reassure my mom that nothing she could do would change the outcome, and it wasn't her fault. to not do anything rash, because she still has my sister and her kids to think of.

to give her instructions on how to deal with some of my niche belongings.

But I'm aalso worried about saying the wrong thing.

 

[Scythe]

No wrong way to go about it, no right way either. Nothing you should say or can't say. This is a personal thing, just give it your best shot.
I do think give people an explanation if you care about them.
Despite knowing family won't understand, I'm still going to explain myself, so then it's their fault for not getting it. Not that I didn't try.

 

[zipzamoly1]

i've been trying to write my notes, i want a draft them even if i dont have a set date or anything yet. but FUCK its so hard to write them, especially my ones to specific people. i have one main note and then notes for specific people. wording everything i feel is rough, and most of my note is saying im sorry and expressing my love for my family and loved ones. im trying to make a list of wishes for after my death too, mainly what to do with my body. idrc what they do with it, but i want part of me to be in nature somewhere. my dream since i was a kid was to die in a forest, and let nature eat my body and return to the earth.

does anyone have any thoughts or tips for what should be in a note? i know its a very personal thing, but knowing what not to say, and what to say is helpful. i want my note to bring slight relief, i know it will be hard for the people who read it so my efforts may not mean much, but i still wanna try. i try to reassure that it's none of their faults, and that no one could have changed my mind so they don't think they could've done something to stop it

i found this site thats kinda helpful https://archive.ashspace.org/ashbusstop.org/Note.html but i want other people's thoughts and experiences on here please

feel free to share your struggle with writing suicide notes too even if you dont have advice, its just kinda nice knowing im not alone

yeah, I'm quite frank with my struggles irl. I doubt a suicide note will change anything.

There are some embarrassing things I'm suicidal over which I'd rather not include in the note itself