Wrath

[spellbound]

My whole life, the only significant and long lasting emotion I've felt is sorrow, depression, sadness.
But in these past few months, I've had this deep hatred, anger and rage build up inside of me, and I don't know how to deal with it.
Sure I've been angry before that in my life, but I wouldn't have consider myself an angry person. But now it feels like this wrath is a part of me, and it contributed to my radicalisation on a number of topics, namely suicide. Admittedly I have hatred for stuff that deserve to be hated but I don't want it to be such a big part of me.
I feel like this mix of crushing sorrow and uncontrollable wrath might make me do stuff that may not align with who I want to be as a person.
It's just something very new to me and I wanted to ask you guys for help. I just don't want to be full of hate. Maybe I can handle sadness since I've lived with it so long, but rage is just not me at all, at least I think so.
Anyone else feels me on this ?

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

This is normal. Depression can manifest as anger
And lack of social needs through positive social interaction can manifest ad aggression

 

[spellbound]

This is normal. Depression can manifest as anger
And lack of social needs through positive social interaction can manifest ad aggression

In other words it's like the dude from taxi driver ?
How do I stop this tho ? I'm not sure I wanna end up like him. Is there any way to stay depressed ? Depression motivates me to ctb (which is my goal) and I feel like wrath will take me down a more violent path which I don't want

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

In other words it's like the dude from taxi driver ?
How do I stop this tho ? I'm not sure I wanna end up like him. Is there any way to stay depressed ? Depression motivates me to ctb (which is my goal) and I feel like wrath will take me down a more violent path which I don't want

dont try to repress anything or itll just hurt more

The kids who did the mass shootings, they didnt wanna do that
Ppl who suicide, they dont wanna do it either

Whatever happens or doesnt happen to society as a result of your pain is on them not you

Do what you have to do to feel better

 

[spellbound]

The kids who did the mass shootings, they didnt wanna do that
Ppl who suicide, they dont wanna do it either

Well I do really want to suicide tho, that's why I'd much rather stay down that path. It's who I am and who I've always been. I don't wanna be this wrathful version of myself.

Whatever happens or doesnt happen to society as a result of your pain is on them not you

Do what you have to do to feel better

That's a really good point tho. I guess I can't control my emotions anyways, so what else is there to do ?
I can only hope this hatred leaves my soul.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

This is normal. Depression can manifest as anger
And lack of social needs through positive social interaction can manifest ad aggression

Yes.
The famous & often quoted saying is "depression is anger turned inward" (Freud). So this is just the opposite, suddenly turning it back outward.