Discussion why do you sh?

[3spiral]

I think that people usually start self harming pretty young. while I never had the habit I started noticing this really weird and strong urge to hurt myself 1 or 2 years ago? I'm always insecure that I'm making things up but thinking this makes me want to do it even more so sorry if I'm being stupid I just wanted a space to discuss this freely. searching about these topics usually just leads to the "seek help" thing lol
thing is I don't know if I even feel anything good when I try it, maybe just a rush of adrenaline that "wakes me up". it's more about being able to see the results later, especially if there's blood. I noticed I also have a tendency of exposing myself to content that bothers or triggers me to search for a similar feeling. not sure why I like seeing myself being hurt so much. we were talking about topics like these at school and my friend said that someone must be crazy if they want to cut themselves which made me feel like a bit of a weirdo? help I don't understand my own feelings

 

[Nitlott]

I don't know if I can say that it's the reason why I cut because it just feels like just another option to deal with something. But I get this feeling every time, I think it's the best feeling on earth... Of finally feeling like you're living. Everything feels more real than it has ever been, like you couldn't breath through your nose all your life and now you can, something like that. I don't know how to properly describe it though... The best description I could come up with is getting rid of that constant buzz you had in your ears. You probably can get this feeling other ways, but I think it mainly has to do with the adrenaline. No idea how it's measured though. I had an accident with a needle and my eye and that lasted me two days, when me cutting lasted almost a week. Maybe it's because I refrain from cutting for long times, I measure the amount of cuts I can make and when like it's some goods I supply the local town with man. I also like seeing my blood, not because it's a result of me being hurt but uh. Yeah. I like bleeding from my nose better though...

I noticed I also have a tendency of exposing myself to content that bothers or triggers me to search for a similar feeling.

Me too, I think it has something to do with morbid curiousity more. I used to watch gore videos years ago from Liveleak and it's copycats when it closed, watchpeopledie, eyeblech, gurochan... Stuff like that. I also remember reading pdfs on cases which had pictures of the scene. There was a case regarding some kind of a submarine which was really brutal, it's better that I don't remember the name. I didn't even do that because I enjoyed it or out of educational purposes, just to shock myself I guess. The scary part is that you get used to it, glad I ditched that. I'm even happy a little that some of those sites and subs got banned to be honest
On only crazy people wanting to cut... It's kind of true if you call people having mental health problems crazy, but I don't think that it's that rare for people to do it. It's just one of those statements you use to simplify hard topics

 

[UltraAlter]

I don't know if I can say that it's the reason why I cut because it just feels like just another option to deal with something. But I get this feeling every time, I think it's the best feeling on earth... Of finally feeling like you're living. Everything feels more real than it has ever been, like you couldn't breath through your nose all your life and now you can, something like that. I don't know how to properly describe it though... The best description I could come up with is getting rid of that constant buzz you had in your ears. You probably can get this feeling other ways, but I think it mainly has to do with the adrenaline. No idea how it's measured though. I had an accident with a needle and my eye and that lasted me two days, when me cutting lasted almost a week. Maybe it's because I refrain from cutting for long times, I measure the amount of cuts I can make and when like it's some goods I supply the local town with man. I also like seeing my blood, not because it's a result of me being hurt but uh. Yeah. I like bleeding from my nose better though...

Me too, I think it has something to do with morbid curiousity more. I used to watch gore videos years ago from Liveleak and it's copycats when it closed, watchpeopledie, eyeblech, gurochan... Stuff like that. I also remember reading pdfs on cases which had pictures of the scene. There was a case regarding some kind of a submarine which was really brutal, it's better that I don't remember the name. I didn't even do that because I enjoyed it or out of educational purposes, just to shock myself I guess. The scary part is that you get used to it, glad I ditched that. I'm even happy a little that some of those sites and subs got banned to be honest
On only crazy people wanting to cut... It's kind of true if you call people having mental health problems crazy, but I don't think that it's that rare for people to do it. It's just one of those statements you use to simplify hard topics

I think you explained it pretty well. Although I'm sure it's different for everyone, but this explanation resonates with me. Although I don't SH any more, it did become an addiction of sorts in my past. You're right in that it makes you feel alive when ordinarily you maybe don't feel so? Idk…. I can't entirely remember my own reasonings now since it was a while ago that I was in that space. I also found myself seeking content that triggered episodes. No idea why now.

Maybe commenting here for me is irrelevant since it doesn't necessarily affect me anymore. Just putting my useless 2 cents in I guess

 

[timf]

The associated feelings of being in control can be a rush that can reach addictive proportions. If one is in a situation where one is not able to control their environment or circumstances (particularly if it is negative), feelings of control can be hard to come by. Younger people in families and school can be at greater risk because they can often feel helpless. Additionally, sitting 6-8 hours a day in school staring at ones arms can make cutting tempting.