Something is seriously wrong with me. I am evidently not like others and I don't mean it in a flattering way but rather in a mentally r3tarded, stunted mental growth something something way. I express this concern indirectly and they say "you're alright" "you're normal" but the way I can physically feel the the earth and moon difference when I am standing beside my peers and I'm sure others can do but they never say it. My family pretends to never listen to me whenever I talk or anything and they treat me like a ghost and when I try they dismiss my concern entirely saying how it's not that deep maybe it truly isn't that deep but I dont know how should I know. I feel like I'm another species from humans entirely, I can't function normally like others but I'm not completely dysfunctional as compared to people that are actually considered special. I'm too functional to be considered special but too dysfunctional to be considered one of the normals id dont know anymore.
Normal people will notice their struggles and move the world hell and back to solve it, freely allowing themselves to burden others in the process sometimes. But I don't know if it's the same for me. I notice my struggles, I don't know how to improve them, I don't want to burden others with my problems so now I'm stuck being in this constant loop of suffering that I feel completely trapped in.
I just, really, really want to get myself out of this NEET life I'm tired of it I dont like it but I'm too scared of taking the next step or rather if I even know if I'm taking the right step because everytime I feel like I'm doing something I get badly criticized. When I tell people what I'll do next they laugh at me or don't care but when I do they get seriously mad at me. I seriously don't know I don't think I'm cut out for this life at all but There are so many things I find beautiful and want to experience but I know I cant but the hope keeps me live just to make me suffer later. I know I'm going to be 40 years old regretting everything especially how I wasted my entire life away regardless of the opportunities given just because I was scared to take action. No words will cure mE I need serious help but I'm scared of burdening others
Normal people will notice their struggles and move the world hell and back to solve it, freely allowing themselves to burden others in the process sometimes. But I don't know if it's the same for me. I notice my struggles, I don't know how to improve them, I don't want to burden others with my problems so now I'm stuck being in this constant loop of suffering that I feel completely trapped in.
I just, really, really want to get myself out of this NEET life I'm tired of it I dont like it but I'm too scared of taking the next step or rather if I even know if I'm taking the right step because everytime I feel like I'm doing something I get badly criticized. When I tell people what I'll do next they laugh at me or don't care but when I do they get seriously mad at me. I seriously don't know I don't think I'm cut out for this life at all but There are so many things I find beautiful and want to experience but I know I cant but the hope keeps me live just to make me suffer later. I know I'm going to be 40 years old regretting everything especially how I wasted my entire life away regardless of the opportunities given just because I was scared to take action. No words will cure mE I need serious help but I'm scared of burdening others
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