Yuja
Student
- May 6, 2026
- 27
Whenever it's the birthday of someone I know, I always find it awkward to say happy birthday to them. I feel like it's because we really aren't that close or something. It's like a mix of embarrassment and shame because they have all these other people who are their genuine friends wishing them a happy birthday and then here i am, some person who only knows them because we take a class or two together.
This really comes off as me having some main character syndrome and shit which is why I've never opened up about this issue but, trust me, I am NOT (or at least I don't think I am). It just feels fake whenever I wish them a happy birthday and I feel like the receiving party can also tell. Like, I genuinely do try and most of the time I do wish them a quick happy birthday but it just feels weird I guess I'm not sure how to word this. Maybe it's some issue I have with shame.
This also mildly ties into how forgetful I am whenever it's someone's birthday or it's some special day. I forget so often to wish my own family members a happy birthday that I feel so extremely bad and it just gives off this vibe of "oh I don't care about them and that's why I don't even remember when it's their birthday" and shit like that when I really do care about them. Or maybe I really don't and I trick myself into thinking I do? I really don't know anymore.....
I don't think it's that deep but it's just a constant issue I have and it's so annoying. I have started to put people's birthday's on my calendar so hopefully that helps.
I just feel like I'm not even living my own life sometimes. Like I'm looking at myself from a third point of view. I'm too afraid of what people might think of me from whatever it is I do like my body language or a comment I make and I guess I'm just self conscious and hella insecure.
I'm just not close to people in general so that could also contribute to this issue... since I don't really interact with people.
This is unrelated but I had this one interaction with a guy I sorta know. I'm sure he's heard about me from other people before but I really didn't know him that well. Anyways, we were in this group for an assignment and we were just introducing ourselves when he mentioned that he was Malaysian. Now, I thought he was Korean so I brought that up to him and he said he wasn't as well as saying "man, you didn't know that? Lowkey disappointing" or something along those lines. I didn't say anything at the time but the more I thought about it the more confused I was as well as slightly pissed. Doesn't it obviously make sense that I wouldn't know he was Malaysian if we barely know each other??? The way he said it almost came off as how I SHOULD HAVE known or something like that.
He could have easily just said that in a "Oh how disappointing that we don't know each other that well" type of way but I just didn't like the tone he used with "disappointing". At the end of the day I know it's not really that deep and I didn't take genuine offense or anything I guess but just some food for thought.
This really comes off as me having some main character syndrome and shit which is why I've never opened up about this issue but, trust me, I am NOT (or at least I don't think I am). It just feels fake whenever I wish them a happy birthday and I feel like the receiving party can also tell. Like, I genuinely do try and most of the time I do wish them a quick happy birthday but it just feels weird I guess I'm not sure how to word this. Maybe it's some issue I have with shame.
This also mildly ties into how forgetful I am whenever it's someone's birthday or it's some special day. I forget so often to wish my own family members a happy birthday that I feel so extremely bad and it just gives off this vibe of "oh I don't care about them and that's why I don't even remember when it's their birthday" and shit like that when I really do care about them. Or maybe I really don't and I trick myself into thinking I do? I really don't know anymore.....
I don't think it's that deep but it's just a constant issue I have and it's so annoying. I have started to put people's birthday's on my calendar so hopefully that helps.
I just feel like I'm not even living my own life sometimes. Like I'm looking at myself from a third point of view. I'm too afraid of what people might think of me from whatever it is I do like my body language or a comment I make and I guess I'm just self conscious and hella insecure.
I'm just not close to people in general so that could also contribute to this issue... since I don't really interact with people.
This is unrelated but I had this one interaction with a guy I sorta know. I'm sure he's heard about me from other people before but I really didn't know him that well. Anyways, we were in this group for an assignment and we were just introducing ourselves when he mentioned that he was Malaysian. Now, I thought he was Korean so I brought that up to him and he said he wasn't as well as saying "man, you didn't know that? Lowkey disappointing" or something along those lines. I didn't say anything at the time but the more I thought about it the more confused I was as well as slightly pissed. Doesn't it obviously make sense that I wouldn't know he was Malaysian if we barely know each other??? The way he said it almost came off as how I SHOULD HAVE known or something like that.
He could have easily just said that in a "Oh how disappointing that we don't know each other that well" type of way but I just didn't like the tone he used with "disappointing". At the end of the day I know it's not really that deep and I didn't take genuine offense or anything I guess but just some food for thought.
