Discussion What keeps you in ss (sasu)?

[Liseli]

I'm genuinely curious on why so many people stay here for years. It has been for me as well, but I have a problem letting it go even tho in the long run it's not healthy reading too many dark thoughts. I had laughs and good moments, but also bad ones. I felt welcome and abandoned. Many things over the years. What's your opinion or experience?

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

Honestly, I expected to be dead and gone in at most a month when I first joined, but SI got me, and I recovered (momentarily), so I left for a while.

I came back though, because this community is a huge comfort to me, I realize how it can't be healthy to spend all day on here, but its a nice warmish feeling that there's people who can relate to you, or you can relate too, plus this is a place where CTB can be openly discussed, it's not 'taboo' like how it is in many other places.

 

[westerly_merlin]

I like the community here. I can say how I feel without fear that someone will refer me for help.

I spent years thinking I was the only person that had constant suicidal thoughts. I assumed all the suicides I read about were "heat of the moment" events and no one else had these constant thoughts.

Being on SASU I feel as normal as the next person (who is reading this post )

 

[derpyderpins]

Always grateful to this community, as I'd likely be gone already if not for the original subreddit.

You're right that there is a risk of somewhat wallowing in a dark spiral, but it's also one of the only - if not the only - place where you can get a type of support that actually accepts the struggles you are going through.

I'm sorry you felt abandoned. Another issue here is that no one really gets here without issues to work through. I've felt that, too. It's the nature of the beast, and I find that being here makes me want to be more forgiving to people.

 

[TheHolySword]

I don't know. I don't have anywhere else. My favorite person here CTBed, so I left. I thought I wouldn't be far behind them but I kept hanging on for family. I came back because I wanted to say goodbye to this place, my last home. But I survived. And now I don't know why I'm still here. I truly just have nowhere else and no one else.

 

[sugarcoat]

I just joined sasu, it's comforting reading about other people's experiences that are similar to my own as most other users are on here think too but, no other forum I've been on talked about suicide in a similarly open way as Sasu.

 

[Dante_]

I work here....haha

But in all seriousness, the community means a hell of a lot to me, even more than I thought , its given me more than I could ever give back to it with a lot of people i've met here, some of whom are not here anymore, either having moved on with life or ctb very sadly.

 

[Liseli]

I work here....haha

But in all seriousness, the community means a hell of a lot to me, even more than I thought , its given me more than I could ever give back to it with a lot of people i've met here, some of whom are not here anymore, either having moved on with life or ctb very sadly.

Dantesaurus (I had to sorry)

 

[BeyondSurvival]

There are a few reasons why I'm here.
First, the people here are those I can truly relate to, understand, and be understood by. They've suffered enough to learn not to judge others and to rise above the simple struggle for survival. I love their open-mindedness, maturity, and the way they're supportive and nonjudgmental. Here, I can express my deepest feelings without any filter, and they understand me. I genuinely feel like I can connect with people here.

Second, the knowledge shared here is priceless, something I could hardly find anywhere else. Even though I'm still trying to keep going, I want to have a plan B, an escape route. In short, this place feels like it has fallen straight from heaven. It's an amazing site.

 

[Dante_]

Dantesaurus (I had to sorry)

I know you did, i really appreciate it.

 

[R-7]

The real answer is that I haven't got a clue as to what CTB methods I have access to and even if I knew them all I'd be indecisive as all get out.

It's more than that though. I've met a couple of good folks from here and I guess while it's unfortunate to see everybody struggling the community here makes me feel less alone. Honestly even if I were to somehow beat these thoughts I'd most likely stick around and talk to folks.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

Because this site is the most realist place i have accese to in my life.

 

[Irisse]

The kind community. Also I feel like here I can be myself and I can actually interact with people about serious topics unlike in real life.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

Same as others have said. There's no other place that allows for nearly the level of openness about suicidal ideation or other dark thoughts as SaSu. Pretending to be alright when you're constantly one step away from ending it all takes a toll and people here are more willing to accept that without judging you. It's easier to relate to people here as well, because they're not putting up the facade of being okay that is all too common elsewhere on the internet and in real life.

 

[Namelesa]

I work here and this is like the only site I feel comfortable talking on the internet as I am not a burden if I am miserable or want to die.

 

[Michelstaedter]

This is the place where I truly feel understood. If I were a country, I would live here forever...

 

[Dark Moon]

The community I like and I can freely vent and talk about suicide where as I can't anywhere else without being judged. I can just fall back to SS when things get really bad.

I wasn't expecting to stay here for three years after joining but lack of methods and SI means I haven't sucessfully managed to CTB yet and there's no other suicide forums that I know of.

 

[Nrocoop]

On SS I don't have to pretend that my life will improve or I can change the circumstances I live in, when experience tells me it won't. I can interact with people in the same boat and, unlike when I'm interacting with normies, I don't have to 'put on a face'. It's exhausting

 

[darksouls]

I have no social contacts in real life, I am always alone, I was in a forum similar to sasu in my native language, but they banned me, so I am thankful to be here, sasu is a wonderful place, you are interesting and great personalities

 

[Ashes of a Dreamer]

A sense of community. It's a place of free speech combined with kindness. Anyway, if a person is here for so long, it shows they created a bond with this virtual experience somehow, and SaSu may be the only thing that's keeping one alive.

 

[Ethel]

It comforts me.

 

[WornOutLife]

Been here since 2020 but couldn't be back from some time due to some issues with re-enabling my account.
Why am I here? (again)

Well for me it's quite simple, apart from learning about peaceful ways of CTB with the resources, this is really the only place where I've managed to find people like me.
You know, when you're just broken and most people can't really understand what you're going through. It really sucks.

Yet, that is when this community appears and helps you cope at least.

Also, I feel like someday I will understand more about humanity and the true meaning of life (finding my true meaning is not enough. Oh, and I think we're living in a simulation btw LOL)

All in all, I guess SS just comforts me as @Ethel said :)

 

[MissAbyss]

Counting games... kidding!

I truly appreciate the people here, and it feels like a safe haven.

 

[TransientEternal]

This place is genuine. The people here are kind and honest. We don't have to tip-toe around topics. We don't have to throw out empty platitudes we don't believe in. The community here is also very nice.

 

[stardewwindceres]

Been here a little over a month now. I never expected to find a community like this. Found it a few days before I was going to CTB with a plan that that I ended up having to push back but then found so much info here and the plan changed entirely. A better, more reliable one and in addition to that, found this place with amazing people, who can all be honest with each other. I feel like I can post things here that I would never dare to tell anyone. Ever. It's so strange because I both hate and love that this community exists for us to come together to try to find other people who understand each other and be able to honestly express ourselves without fear of being locked up or other things like that and to get real information on how to end ourselves.

My original plan likely would have failed, but I planned on being dead at the beginning of October and not living to see 40. Which ended up happening and I resent it and hate it so so much. But I'm glad this site is here while I'm waiting for something that won't just land me in another psych ward or a coma or with brain damage. Until then, I'm just going to have to do whatever I have to do to keep myself distracted in every way possible. Hopefully lots of sleeping. And hope my physical health holds out. I'm way too old for this.

 

[BrainSplatter]

It's nice talking to like-minded people. I didn't expect to find a recovery forum, but it's better than I could've imagined. People listen without judgment, I can share my darkest thoughts here and people just listen and respond without shock and no one pushes anyone to CTB or discourage it - it's each person's choice

 

[monetpompo]

loneliness honestly. i can read 50 posts on here whenever i feel like i need some company, while a irl friend may not have time for me because they have real responsibilities. i doubt i'll be able to find any new friends in the near future so i'm clinging to the site and reading during dinner or quiet moments. to avoid thinking about my own problems, but also going on here specifically to write out a post about stuff that makes me suicidal. making friends here is bad for my mental health, so i'm not any less lonely than i was before, but i like having some sort of "home base", because i feel like i don't belong anywhere. i also fucking HAAAATTTEE reddit. i would frequent r/depression and r/lonely in high school and weirdos would dm me because they thought i was a cute and vulnerable girl when i'm a guy. all online perverts should die. r/depression sucks to browse and the post to comment ratio is kind of crazy compared to sasu. at least people make an effort to talk to each other on here. r/suicidewatch is straight garbo to browse and it's literally just teenagers.

the negativity is the most addicting aspect of sasu. i've always been very negative and analytical of everything in my life, while also ignoring the fact that my friends care about me because i feel unlovable. this was my favorite place to be during my severe depression, but now i feel like i don't belong because i find going on here and getting dmed or interacted with by randos grating. my activity on the partner's thread was probably my most fruitless and tiring thing i've ever bothered doing in my life.

 

[TAW122]

The SaSu community and the fact that SaSu is one of the only platforms where I am able to freely express my views on CTB (without censorship) as well as discussion of method efficacy (the risks and feasibility of each) in depth, and also have people relate to me instead of mainstream programming where CTB is demonized, stigmatized, and actual, constructive discussion and dialogue of the topic couldn't be had.

Furthermore, with regards to the concept of recovery, I find the term rather 'anathemic' towards my values since I never really considered myself recovered, at least in the sense of abandoning CTB or wanting to die. Sure, there are always fleeting moments of joy, pleasure, and good times (which can fade when the next bad event happens or so), but I see it more as a 'cope'. I could get into more depth, but I would save that for another thread or topic instead of digressing even more.

 

[KenDuh]

Have nowhere else to go, But at least you won't put me in a mental hospital.

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

I don't know. I'm compatible with nobody, nothing, nowhere.