Discussion what keeps you here?

[haibaralover]

i'm sure people have already discussed this before, but what keeps you from ctb, even knowing you're going to eventually do it? i've always been curious to what other people have in their lives that keep them around, most people i ask always give really deep meaning answers which i do appreciate but i feel like it doesn't always have to be that deep. for me, it's recently been really small things. one of my favorite shows is dropping new episodes every week and i want to finish it before i inevitably ctb, is it like this for anyone else? am i misconstrued for having such shallow reasons for sticking around?

 

[itsgone2]

Was just thinking about this. I'm scared if being honest. I'm done. My life is over I know that. But I'm afraid of the act. Not sure if I'll fsh or use a gun but either way I'm scared. There are other reasons too but I'm afraid of the act.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

there is no such reason as too small a reason to live. wanting to see new episodes makes sense. i am doing similar, i am staying alive right now because i want to hear noah kahans new album that he is making before i ctb.

 

[haibaralover]

Was just thinking about this. I'm scared of being honest. I'm done. My life is over I know that. But I'm afraid of the act. Not sure if I'll fsh or use a gun but either way I'm scared. There are other reasons too but I'm afraid of the act.

very real of you, i often try and tell myself im not scared but as soon as i get around to doing it SI kicks in and i back out. youre definitely not alone in that regard!

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Fear. Fear of the pain of hanging. Fear of going and buying a gun. Fear of using the gun. Sometimes fear of hell, but come on. That's silly.

 

[VegasLyra]

very real of you, i often try and tell myself im not scared but as soon as i get around to doing it SI kicks in and i back out. youre definitely not alone in that regard!

That's why most suicides are impulsive (especially firearms-related suicides). Your brain doesn't even have a chance to go "hey wait a minute you can akways do this later!!!!" before it's too late

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

That's why most suicides are impulsive (especially firearms-related suicides). Your brain doesn't even have a chance to go "hey wait a minute you can akways do this later!!!!" before it's too late

This is why I want a loaded gun around. It's hard to maintain your nerve walking out to your hanging spot (and then hurting your neck horribly). But I think there have been moments when I could have pulled a trigger.

 

[Scorpio moon gal]

still hesitant about my chosen method

 

[FuneralCry]

I only continue to suffer as a result of being trapped in this dreadful, horrific world where humans have made dying painlessly into a crime with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what.

I always suffer so unbearably from being denied the option to never suffer again, anti-suicide is just horrific extreme cruelty, all that anti-suicide people do is want others to feel the pain and torture of existing for as much and as long as possible.

All I want is to erase this terrible, cruel existence, I just want all to be gone and forgotten for me in non-existence, this torturous, dreadful existence should never had been imposed, for me ceasing to exist is just all that's positive. I just want peace from the suffering, torture and cruelty of existing and no matter what I'll always prefer to never suffer again, existence to me is always a terrible mistake that never should had been imposed, I find it so horrific how the torture of existing can continue for decades longer just for one to face the agony of old age.

 

[metfan647]

Hoping to catch some dopamine rushes before I go. It is really just that as I don't strive for the usual things most people of my demographic aspire to achieve.

 

[SoLowHollow48]

Avenge myself after my first attempt of signing in to this site got rejected by the mod just because I said that I want to die years later instead of next week even if I also specified that I wanted to understand why my lover (who was also here) killed herself.

See you in 2045, jerk.

 

[ohsosleepy]

Failed last time, but also my favorite artists releasing new music. Their work makes me really happy, and ideally I would want to keep supporting them as long as I can.

 

[Terrible_Life]

i'm sure people have already discussed this before, but what keeps you from ctb, even knowing you're going to eventually do it? i've always been curious to what other people have in their lives that keep them around, most people i ask always give really deep meaning answers which i do appreciate but i feel like it doesn't always have to be that deep. for me, it's recently been really small things. one of my favorite shows is dropping new episodes every week and i want to finish it before i inevitably ctb, is it like this for anyone else? am i misconstrued for having such shallow reasons for sticking around?

So far it was my irrational stupidity that kept me here but I start to understand it and I feel like this life was never meant to be lived for 80+ years. It was destroyed before it could really begin and I suffered a lot many other people would have killed themself at latest with maybe 14/15 if they had such a painful sad empty life in which it seems like I am nothing but just some test object where I get tested how long a human can survive with lots of suffering. I wish I had a good life but unfortunately I had bad luck and now I am tired from this and wanna die.
Imagine you wait and hope for something but it'll never come.

 

[thelostautistic]

At the moment it's mainly guilt. I think about how much I'll hurt my family and friends if I go so trying to stick around for them but it's so hard

 

[RiftbornVeil]

In my current conditions, I unfortunately don't have the opportunity to. I'm just biding my time till that day comes, but if I could right now, then I would.

 

[CosmicError]

you know for me its the small things as well i love video games so they keep me going but we all know putting our will to live in these fleeting things is a losing game so eventually a time comes when you have to make a decision to live or die instead of distracting yourself but until that time comes i am gonna enjoy cyberpunk 2077 lol

 

[Afterglow]

lack of money to properly give myself a goodbye

 

[haibaralover]

you know for me its the small things as well i love video games so they keep me going but we all know putting our will to live in these fleeting things is a losing game so eventually a time comes when you have to make a decision to live or die instead of distracting yourself but until that time comes i am gonna enjoy cyberpunk 2077 lol

that's so real i also love video games ^_^

 

[madwoman]

My mostly fictional interests keep me here but it makes me mad bc it's not my life. I escape my life in fiction - it's got ahold on me and I'm trying to let go. So that means tv, movies, music, books, celebrities lives - everything but my own. Like I wanted to do it around a certain date but bc I know when a comic series is going to end, now I pushed it until after that like ugh - there's always going to be something. I want to find a good time to do it and make sure I have all my affairs in order - I want to feel at peace and not there yet.

 

[haibaralover]

My mostly fictional interests keep me here but it makes me mad bc it's not my life. I escape my life in fiction - it's got ahold on me and I'm trying to let go. So that means tv, movies, music, books, celebrities lives - everything but my own. Like I wanted to do it around a certain date but bc I know when a comic series is going to end, now I pushed it until after that like ugh - there's always going to be something. I want to find a good time to do it and make sure I have all my affairs in order - I want to feel at peace and not there yet.

i feel that, sometimes i HATE having interests in fiction because it keeps me from escaping everything im going through. and it's not even real, longing for something i cant touch or will into existence.

 

[madwoman]

i feel that, sometimes i HATE having interests in fiction because it keeps me from escaping everything im going through. and it's not even real, longing for something i cant touch or will into existence.

Exactly :/ it's not real like why? And it makes me sad too bc I'll never have what these fictional lives have. Like I'm legit going to miss some fictional characters so much. My one fave show only just started and there's more to come but I can't wait so I'm making peace with the one season I have.

 

[chloeburbank]

mainly just scared of ordering sn. wouldnt know how to face a wellness check if it happened to me. new music releases has also kept me looking forward to something in my life as ive been waiting months for certain artists to drop and they finally are. overall im just scared to act on my impulses.

 

[haibaralover]

Exactly :/ it's not real like why? And it makes me sad too bc I'll never have what these fictional lives have. Like I'm legit going to miss some fictional characters so much. My one fave show only just started and there's more to come but I can't wait so I'm making peace with the one season I have.

so real man, what's the show if you dont mind me asking? im just curious, need more stuff to watch •^•

 

[paskins]

i'm sure people have already discussed this before, but what keeps you from ctb, even knowing you're going to eventually do it? i've always been curious to what other people have in their lives that keep them around, most people i ask always give really deep meaning answers which i do appreciate but i feel like it doesn't always have to be that deep. for me, it's recently been really small things. one of my favorite shows is dropping new episodes every week and i want to finish it before i inevitably ctb, is it like this for anyone else? am i misconstrued for having such shallow reasons for sticking around?

need to beat all the souls games.. already done with elden ring and sekiro, after that i'm gonna be ready

 

[haibaralover]

need to beat all the souls games.. already done with elden ring and sekiro, after that i'm gonna be ready

very random but i love ur pfp!! NSO is peak :>

 

[Spite]

Fear - both of the act of committing suicide itself, and what may or may not happen after death. Discovering and listening to good music, and investing time into my creative hobbies, also keep me here.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Good question. I've been holding onto this hope in a person, a future. But I'm not sure if he still has the same hope. Apart from that there's nothing, no joy really. SN is ready, waiting on one last detail for my affairs to be finalised. I guess it will be a matter of whether I completely lose hope, or not.

 

[ireallywasnttogopls]

survival instict, I feel paralyzed and cant step off the stool

I,m also scared to be punished in the after life by God(s)

 

[Malfunction]

A few reasons.

I don't have a method available that works for me. I fear screwing up far more than being dead. A firearm would make it far easier.

I'm trying to pull through as long as I can. Because of a promise to my mum. Failing that, I suppose i'd only be disappointing myself as she passed away a few years ago.

The biggest relief for me would be to have something ready to go.

 

[madwoman]

so real man, what's the show if you dont mind me asking? im just curious, need more stuff to watch •^•

Heated Rivalry. There's a huge fandom for it too. Won't be for everyone but I am obsessed. Do you have a current fave show?