I don't really want to hang. My preferred method is SN but I just can't find anyone willing to sell me benzos

that's the only thing I'm missing
Benzos won't help with your passing away. They are just more of an experience enhancer, knocking you out quicker and helping with SI. Benzos in themselves aren't harmful at all. An alternative to benzos would just be to make yourself very, very tired. Don't sleep for 30 hours, take some melatonin, and/or take some OTC Sleeping Pills that don't require a prescription, for example.
With SI, create a comfortable and safe environment. Maybe do a few dry runs and just mix water with normal table salt and drink it, and lie down so you get used to the whole process and it isn't as scary anymore. There are lots of calming teas, herbal meds, etc, that also help with anxiety. Technically, really strong smelling salts or ammonia can help rock you out of anxiety/panic attacks as well.