Discussion What did your parent, gaudian or a even freind said that messed you up?

[FoxSauce]

Something anything that stuck with you till now

Idk if anyone made a similar thread, Searched before hand.

For me was - "your so dramatic, why are you scared of anything, what happens at home." stays at home ."

After a fight. (Im talking childhood) I cant even look at people having an argument.

What was yours? If you want to share

Saw a vid on yt and wanted to do the same here.

 

[ctwc]

"You're being manipulated"

 

[randomuser2348]

My mother telling me "You're just like your father"
I was eight. It occured around the time I had been diagnosed with the PTSD branded upon my mind by a father exiled when I was hardly an infant.

 

[Topaz111]

"I don't care if you kill yourself"- said by my mother
I don't remember what my age was exactly, but it must have been between 12-15
I know she was frustrated and angry that I wasn't getting better, she did apologize for it a moment later, but the words still stuck to me years later.
There are many, many other awful things she and other people close to me have said, but this one always immediately comes to mind..

 

[K14~♡]

After I failed in my attempt, I was talking about my problems and fears to a supposed friend. They were suggesting me things, which I told them was a bad idea for me, and this is what they said in response:

"Facepalms K14..."
"C'mon, stop being a coward and act up"
"Face it"
"Just face it"

Nothing really seems wrong with it. It's meant to be positive and could be seen that way; but at that time, it just felt invalidating and pressuring to me. It pissed me off (along with other things they said/ way they acted). It has been stuck in my mind since then (It's pretty recent though)

Also the fact that they always kept sighing in disappointment whenever the topic of my suicidal intentions came up. I hate their attitude towards me. They're suicidal too and stuck in a shitty life, but they act like they're better than me and that me wanting to ctb and attempting are wrong

 

[thelostautistic]

"I don't care if you kill yourself"- said by my mother
I don't remember what my age was exactly, but it must have been between 12-15
I know she was frustrated and angry that I wasn't getting better, she did apologize for it a moment later, but the words still stuck to me years later.
There are many, many other awful things she and other people close to me have said, but this one always immediately comes to mind..

That's a horrendous thing to say to a child. I'm so sorry you had to hear that. You didn't deserve it.

For me many things come to mind but being told to "grow up" by a family member after being sectioned a few years ago still really hurts me. I'd left the house with the intention of ending my life and that's what I was told. I tried to comment this separately but it keeps joining my comments together.

 

[violetforever]

i told my mom its not ok for her to vent about my grandparents/my dad to me because im her child and she just said "youre an adult" as if that makes it appropriate to put all of that on me and as if she hasnt been venting to me about shit i shouldnt be hearing anyway since i was a child and teenager. she just doesnt care about anyone but herself. she doesnt care if it affects me negatively. i already saw my father beat my mother so why would she add onto that pain by revealing to me that he threatened to kill her alone in the woods too? theres too many similar and selfish things shes said like this. ill never forget how i told her she abused me as a child and she just tried to play dumb and defend herself by saying "i never hit you?" as if thats the only form of abuse. ill never forget her telling me as a child that she would slap me if i ever told anyone about the abuse going on in our home. ill never forget being no older than at least 8 years old and her being drunk and telling me about mens dicks. that memory disturbs me so much. ill just never forgive her for everything shes said, theres too much to write.

 

[mars2027]

"If I had known what you were going to be like, I wouldn't have given birth to you."

 

[darksouls]

my father said to me in a very aggressive tone "you are just like your mother"
I saw the hate in his eyes,
that was in the eighties when I was a child

 

[Nitlott]

I wanted someone to make a thread like this for a while.
Everything slipped my mind, damn... There's more but I can't word it properly in English. There was one time I was in my room sewing something on my bag as usual (either patches or pockets) and my mom said something like "training for the future?". As in a sewing college. Can't come up with an analogue but that's a bad thing, basically the same as saying that you'll be mopping floors and streets after graduation. The gpa needed for it is like, REALLY low. Felt shitty the whole evening... Still remember it from time to time

 

[princexhhn]

"I wish I had someone else's daughter. Look at (name), she doesn't cause problems like you do. She's not fucked up like you"

It was a whole hour long tangent my dad went on, in chinese. I was 14 and bleeding from my arm, needing to go to the ER and get stitched. At first I regret the cut, I thought I made a mistake so I asked my parents for help. "What can you do? It's her choice."
I didn't know how to feel and I couldn't hear a lot anymore through my own sobbing and the sound of my heartbeat ringing in my eardrums. I wanted to die. They took me to the ER eventually, but at that point my crying ceased and I just felt empty. They cleaned my wounds and stitched me and I was too out of it to react. "Yeah she has a really high pain tolerance."

There are families that don't get along, but will be there for you when you really needed it. My older sibling usually has no time for me, but opens the door if I showed up crying. My parents couldn't put it aside for a second to take me to the ER when I was bleeding in front of them.

They've changed now, I think, but I still can't forget it.

I wish they would have protected me instead of calling everything "it's her choice, nothing we can do. It's what she wants."
I was 14. I didn't know what I wanted.
Parents are supposed to raise their kids but they acted like this, my misguided actions, wasn't their responsibility.

Though, over the years, they started taking me more seriously and try to understand.. I guess. They're different now, my father never yells at me anymore and yesterday we went shopping.
But it's still there. The fear creeps up sometimes when I ask them for something or talk to them, afraid of being hurt and bracing for impact that never comes. Sometimes if I want to talk with them I'll literally go to another room just to have an excuse to text them instead of saying it.
This scene just keeps replaying in my mind (along with similar events) making me feel like a burden for needing them.

 

[nitrogenous]

"You have such an evil face" "Even the devil isn't as evil as you" "I can't stand looking at your face" "I'm not acknowledging you as my child anymore" "You're not child of a human" "You're the daughter of the devil" "Humans would die anyway, I don't mind losing my child" "I can easily let go of my child" "Your brain doesn't work" "You are as evil as you can get" "You will see when you have a child just like you" "You need to be slapped (killed) by God first and fall to learn your lesson" "Go ahead, just die, it's your life"

These are just some of the things my mom has said to me, if I document everything, it would be never ending. Also, keep in mind that I have some memory gaps/dissociation growing up, so there could well be worse things said to me that I just don't remember right now.

 

[whywere]

When I was going through childhood, my "mom" would say to me: " remember that your dad has your older brother and I have your younger sister" .

I got food, clothing and a roof over my head, then kicked out the day after my 18th birthday, while when my brother and sister turned 18, both got new cars

Walter

 

[Forveleth]

When I went off to college, I was allowed to socialize for thr first time in my life. My parents would frequently call and talk to me and I would tell them about my friends and what I was doing. One day, my dad yelled, "We didn't send you there to hang out with friends, we went tiu there to study. Look at [child of family friend], they are constantly studying, even on breaks. They are doing to well!"

This did two things to me. One, apparently unless I constantly study and have n social life, I will never be good enough for my dad. Two, whenever he compliments me now and says how proud of me he is, I do not believe him. How can he demand I constantly study to be good enough, then be proud of how far I have made it without matching the obsessive work ethic if the family friend?

Thus has screwed me up mentally for decades and I will forever hate him for it.

 

[chaotic_crow]

"he doesn't act like that when you aren't here, everyone is so much happier when you aren't around" -my mom when I was 11

"It's amazing what you can accomplish when you just set your mind to something" -my aunt a little over a year ago. I'm very disabled and she had just gained her ability to walk again after a week (she had gotten injured from doing too much nitrous oxide) I will never be able to walk again

"You have such an evil face" "Even the devil isn't as evil as you" "I can't stand looking at your face" "I'm not acknowledging you as my child anymore" "You're not child of a human" "You're the daughter of the devil" "Humans would die anyway, I don't mind losing my child" "I can easily let go of my child" "Your brain doesn't work" "You are as evil as you can get" "You will see when you have a child just like you" "You need to be slapped (killed) by God first and fall to learn your lesson" "Go ahead, just die, it's your life"

These are just some of the things my mom has said to me, if I document everything, it would be never ending. Also, keep in mind that I have some memory gaps/dissociation growing up, so there could well be worse things said to me that I just don't remember right now.

The pastor's wife of the cult we were in when I was a kid used to tell me all the time I was Lucifers child or the spawn of Satan. That shit really fucks with your head

 

[whywere]

"he doesn't act like that when you aren't here, everyone is so much happier when you aren't around" -my mom when I was 11

"It's amazing what you can accomplish when you just set your mind to something" -my aunt a little over a year ago. I'm very disabled and she had just gained her ability to walk again after a week (she had gotten injured from doing too much nitrous oxide) I will never be able to walk again

The pastor's wife of the cult we were in when I was a kid used to tell me all the time I was Lucifers child or the spawn of Satan. That shit really fucks with your head

Reading your upbringing made me cry for you.

That is one of the WORST programing of a young human and I am so darn glad to have you here as a good friend and family member.

You ARE wonderful!

Have a great rest of this week filled with hugs and love.

Walter

 

[Ashu]

Among a thousand other things, "Who do you think you are?" This from my mother when I was twelve. Quite a piece of work, that woman. Like mother like son.

 

[Asya]

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[whywere]

[Hidden content]

Your post made me cry, as it brought back the same type of memories and I wrap my arms around you and give you a huge hug, as NO ONE ever should have to hear or live with that type of mentality.

You are a good friend and family member here and no one can ever take away just how caring and kind you are.

Mine ordeal was back in the late 1960's and early 1970's and it still haunts me, BUT no one can ever take away how each and every person cares for each other and folks like yours and mine are losers in the long run, always were, always will be.

Sunny blue skies to you!

Walter

 

[mikidagreen]

felt like they never said enough but when i was 5 my dad called me retarded and kicked me over (struggled unlocking a door cause it was up high) and my mom told me i could ruin a wet dream and a loser when i was 4. not to mention ive had whole ass breakdowns in front of her that she just ignored and also ignored everytime i asked about therapy. maybe not that bad but started my first unwell thoughts.

 

[softfur]

my dad told me how to kill mysellllfff!!! to use a shotgun and push the trigger with your toe. but he's just a neglectful dumbass. if i did exactly that i don't think he'd ever make the connection.

my mom really fucked me up for sure, but it was repeated abuse, not any one thing in particular. i do recall how she told me i "did a shit job at that" when i did housework. i find myself repeating that to myself. she said she was embarrassed to be related to me. always giving me shit about my face in disgusted tone and now i wish i didn't have one. it's crazy how she doesn't seem to remember any of what she did to me and tries to convince me to go live with her. and it's crazy how i still answer the phone

 

[whywere]

my dad told me how to kill mysellllfff!!! to use a shotgun and push the trigger with your toe. but he's just a neglectful dumbass. if i did exactly that i don't think he'd ever make the connection.

my mom really fucked me up for sure, but it was repeated abuse, not any one thing in particular. i do recall how she told me i "did a shit job at that" when i did housework. i find myself repeating that to myself. she said she was embarrassed to be related to me. always giving me shit about my face in disgusted tone and now i wish i didn't have one. it's crazy how she doesn't seem to remember any of what she did to me and tries to convince me to go live with her. and it's crazy how i still answer the phone

OMG!! My heart shattered reading this, that is not even mean it is beyond comprehension.

My wish and hope is that you can get the HELL away from both of these toxic environments and spread your wings without just hyper negativity around you,

HUGE HUGS, love, and always around if you want to talk.

Walter

 

[deadofdespair]

I had a fight at school with a kid whose father my dad knew, when the school alerted him he asked me whether I won or lost and I said I won. He got visibly upset and said next time I hope you lose. I understand it's not really a big deal but it still stays on my mind sometimes. By the way,I don't really hate my dad he's just a cold type of guy.

 

[buriedinmyhead]

Something anything that stuck with you till now

Idk if anyone made a similar thread, Searched before hand.

For me was - "your so dramatic, why are you scared of anything, what happens at home." stays at home ."

After a fight. (Im talking childhood) I cant even look at people having an argument.

What was yours? If you want to share

Saw a vid on yt and wanted to do the same here.

All the times my mom accused me of having sex at TWELVE (I'm an adult and still have yet to even kiss someone)
Her saying she didn't want a daughter because she worried I would turn out like her (I didn't turn out like her and she's still not satisfied)
Telling me I looked like a school shooter when I was twelve and had my hood up

 

[bratishka]

i cannot explain why it hurt so much but the family psychiatrist telling me "there will never be a point in your life when you don't need meds" it just kind of shocked me like i was nine and put on heavy duty antipsychotics and just being told basically that i am never going to get better just filled me with a sense of doom that i still carry. like this is it, this is the best i can hope for, there is no further improvement.

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

I thought you were weird at first but you're cool when you're drunk

Or something to that effect
Big lol
Not super heavy but influential

 

[Fadenself00_]

there will never be a point in your life when you don't need meds" it just kind of shocked me like i was nine and put on heavy duty antipsychotics and just being told basically that i am never going to get better

that is a hardcore abusive thing to say, very sorry :( (Also a child should pretty much never be prescribed "heavy duty antipsychotics". That will ruin people for life. And that shrink should be locked up and in jail)

 

[bratishka]

that is a hardcore abusive thing to say, very sorry :( (Also a child should pretty much never be prescribed "heavy duty antipsychotics". That will ruin people for life. And that shrink should be locked up and in jail)

she was SOOOO unethical like she would sit me in a room with paper thin walls and talk to my mom while i could here everything, like my mom ranting about me, and like on top of that, it is likely that she molested me and i do not remember it properly

 

[LilGhost]

Something anything that stuck with you till now

Idk if anyone made a similar thread, Searched before hand.

For me was - "your so dramatic, why are you scared of anything, what happens at home." stays at home ."

After a fight. (Im talking childhood) I cant even look at people having an argument.

What was yours? If you want to share

Saw a vid on yt and wanted to do the same here.

Duuuude thats so messed up, no child should feel unsafe in their own house. I very hope you escaped that place

As for me:
When i was 12 and I threatened to be killed and was getting beaten so i stopped smiling my father said an age lord phrase: "smile even through pain " cause he didnt want to care what happened
I also have hypermobility and autism so i struggle with feeling like a human and people not rlly treating me like one, so when i was showing the weird directions i can force my neck to cause i found it funny, but my friend was like "I would shoot you if i see you in a forest" and few other lines that i dont rlly remember that basically went on joking how thats not "normal" and not "human like"

 

[FoxSauce]

Actually my mom regrets what she did shes being nice now I just hope it sticks.

We've talked about that like a heart to heart ik none people here had been that lucky.

She really really regrets what she did. I forgive her for that.