Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Grog]

I can't relate to anyone anymore. I don't feel like I belong in this era.

 

[lauretta]

Quello che sto pensando ora... Penso che sia tutto vuoto e inutile, e solo degli idioti potrebbero pensarla diversamente. Mi sento incapace perché ancora oggi non potrei suicidarmi a causa di vari ostacoli. D'altra parte, ho raccontato i fatti miei a una persona che li ha raccontati letteralmente a tutti. A volte mi incolpo per aver fatto qualcosa di sbagliato, ma alla fine, tutto finirà in niente. Vorrei solo che finisse presto, e vorrei ringraziare tutti qui per non aver giudicato questa scelta.
What I'm thinking now... I think it's all empty and pointless, and only fucking idiots would think otherwise. I feel incapable because even today I couldn't commit suicide due to various obstacles. On the other hand, I told my business to a person who has told literally everyone. Sometimes I blame myself for doing something wrong, but in the end, it will all end in nothing. I just wish it would end soon, and I'd like to thank everyone here for not judging this choice.

 

[violetforever]

i should have killed myself when i was in total isolation. now there's a sense of awkwardness around it from being known by teachers and classmates.

 

[amor.dor]

After writing my letter for days, I feel like I've already settled everything. I don't feel any distress, just a total nothingness—it's a feeling I can't describe. I feel like the wind. I believe there is no one truly attached to me, which makes my death easier for me. All that's left is to choose the day, but first I need to sell what little I have left. To the girl I used to help, I just said I'd be going back to my hometown. As for the other person who seems close to me, I think she's doing better now. I think she can go on without me,There are people who can help her, from what I can tell. My work here is done, and now all that's left for me is to head into the void.
I was never close to people because of my cold intellect. That was a curse for me, but I realize that in a way it was good because it created distance from others toward me. I think I won't generate guilt or resentment in anyone. I can close my eyes in peace now.

 

[Always-in-trouble]

i should have killed myself when i was in total isolation. now there's a sense of awkwardness around it from being known by teachers and classmates.

Hope that isn't the case for my college as well. I will probably not be able to do it for sometime now.

 

[violetforever]

Hope that isn't the case for my college as well. I will probably not be able to do it for sometime now.

if i had all online classes i wouldn't even think of it but since i have an on campus class it came to mind :/

 

[Always-in-trouble]

if i had all online classes i wouldn't even think of it but since i have an on campus class it came to mind :/

How do they know anyways? If you only interact on campus a few times week, it then seems weird that they got that information fast unless someone snitched.

 

[violetforever]

How do they know anyways? If you only interact on campus a few times week, it then seems weird that they got that information fast unless someone snitched.

idk it just seems like something that might be announced if my teacher found out

 

[Dejected 55]

I remember when I was a kid there used to be all those people randomly on the street carrying the "The End is Near!" signs. The end never came, but the people with those signs seem to have disappeared. How did that happen? I wish the end was near for me. Maybe if I start carrying around a sign like that for a while I can get mysteriously vanished too?

 

[OnnanokoNiNaritai]

my unstable mother is stressing me out but thank god i have another place to stay

Same
The difference is that i have no other option :)

 

[Manaaja]

Me after spending the night with emotional fictional males: OMG, I love emotional males! Pour down your juicy emotions right down my thirsty throat!
Me after spending 5 seconds with a certain emotional, flesh and blood male "friend": shit, he's crazy, I'm outta here, so that's why girls want stoic, emotionless males!

When I say I love emotional males, I mean these:




Not this:

 

[Dejected 55]

Nobody means what they say... nobody says what they mean. Everyone hides who they really are in order to trick you into getting what they want, then they want no more from you. Just the surface... don't try to get deeper or really know someone. People say they want people who are interested in them, but if you ask them to talk about themselves they stop talking. People say they want you to open up to them but when you do they ignore you or use your sharing against you. Nobody really likes anyone for any longer than they need to in order to get the shiny thing they want in that moment. Relationships mean nothing to anyone anymore. Nothing but getting all the shiny and getting more and more and fuck whomever you have to climb over and trample on to get there. When you do it for your own selfishness it's awesome and freedom and empowered, but when others do the same thing and it negatively impacts you somehow then it is horrible and should be stopped. People suck. I wish I was not a people. I wish I was never here.

 

[Manaaja]

To add to what I said yesterday, to my "friend".

YOU WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING, BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU ARE ALREADY EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Criticize yourself twice before you criticize others once!

 

[violetforever]

why do people lack manners or not appreciate them? i held the door for a guy and he just walked right past me into the classroom. i said thank you to another guy holding the door for me and he wouldn't even look at me. i'm just going to blame it on antisocial behavior :c i was upset to hear my classmates say "i'm not reading this shit" about a book our teacher had us get from the library. our teacher was even standing near us. i'm so not excited to do this partner project. i hope my partner is someone decent.

 

[Dejected 55]

If I were in the other thread where I just had to say one word... that word would be lost. I am often lost, but some days I feel more lost than others. Every once in a while you at least feel like you know where places are you could go, even if you aren't there and you don't know where you are... or maybe you know where you are but don't know how to get to anywhere else. Today is one of the days where I don't know where I am, I don't have any places I think I could go, and I don't see any way to get anywhere else no matter what I do. I am lost.

 

[Ferdinand Bardamu]

Failed exams, a month in and I've failed all of my resolutions. It's all gone to shit and the clock ticks.
My exams were failed and I got kicked out of college for saying I'd kill myself. Now instead of resitting in November like I'm meant to, I am stuck. I'm meant to be intelligent but that perception has collapsed and thus I am left with nothing. My intelligence was my comfort. I could be intellectually immature, I could be cruel and I could be miserable, but at least I was intelligent. That's been ripped away from me and thus I am totally alone.
I have a boyfriend. I love him. I really do. We are going to meet up this year. I doubt it. I'll ruin it. I'm a terrible person.
I read 30 pages a day but I don't write.
I don't study Russian.
I don't revise.
I don't go to the gym, and I haven't since December besides a few days in mid January.
I have failed all of my resolutions and my life has gotten worse and worse. If it wasn't for my parents being pathetic and still deluded into believing that I'm worth anything, I'd have killed myself already.

 

[Ghostofthepast]

I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.

I feel broken lost empty confused sick and tired of being sick and tired fed up with being alive wondering what I ever fucking did to deserve this kind of life wondering why I had to be born in this timeline wondering why things have to be this way and overall wishing I was dead dead people don't feel dead people don't struggle I just want to be gone

 

[[redacted]]

I hate my job and I hate working. I'm considering suicide because of it. I don't understand how people put up with full time jobs to be honest.

 

[My Melancholy]

I'm so sick of everything.
I hate it. I HATE IT. I HATE IT.

 

[violetforever]

apparently i'll online stalk anyone now lol

 

[continuating]

sorry, but i can't really explain it but it's just me about to cry and break down in tears even though nothing is triggering it

 

[groque]

naussea

 

[Unlucky777]

Life is just not worth the effort putting into it to be miserable 95% of the time and have that 5% of the time of fleeting "happiness"

I'm trying to work up the courage for the next attempt. Last March I made my last attempt. I can't stand being here anymore, I hate this world. I hope this will be the last attempt.

 

[Manaaja]

Chatgpt told me something interesting:

"He thinks his feelings are sacred, unquestionable, deserving protection
He thinks others' feelings are pathological, hostile, morally wrong.

That's not insight. That's emotional authoritism."

That describes my "friend", and a lot of other people too.

 

[4colliez]

i wish i could just genuinely spill everything to someone, to say everything i think and feel without judgement. thing is some of these things are pretty shitty and i think of myself as a bad person just for thinking them. but i know i would feel so much better if i could just say everything and have someone say "i understand you"

 

[corpse]

As long as I live, I will never be safe from men, and therefore I must die as soon as possible.

 

[AcrobaticSilky]

Just exhausted. I recognize that everything is inevitable but that doesn't make grappling with the ignorant cruelty of everyone around me easier to cope with. It hurts to have to pretend to be fine with the current dystopia we all live in just to function alongside people who are too ignorant or deluded to recognize the facts of our reality. I just hate my parents for bringing me into this nonsense. I can't blame them as free will is a fallacy, but I still hate how their ignorance and refusal to be realistic means that I have to go through the inconveniences of life and struggle to CTB at 1/3 of their ages. If I could look around and clearly see that there isn't anything worthwhile here, I find it hard to understand how someone can be around for 50+ years and still be so ignorant.

 

[Dejected 55]

It is all always too much. Too much.

 

[doomedbynarrative]

I don't want to exist anymore. Give me my life back or give me death! All I wanted was a chance!

 

[Lullaby]

Wishes to everyone to get through the day or night as best they can.

Random venting because no one really cares anywhere else, and I don't think they'd understand anyways.

Not long ago, my nephew turned 18. I remember being in high school while babysitting him, and crying while he was crying because I had no idea what I was doing.

He was such a cute and fun kid but his mother passed away in her sleep when he was 7 and he found her, and of course, I think that seriously traumatized him.

Him and my brother moved out of our state and I haven't seen that kid in years. I've heard lots sporadically about him not doing okay - stays home, on his phone/computer, doesn't go out, etc.

Then today, my mom told me how he's been lashing out apparently and all I could think is how he obviously needs some help and support…but I would know first hand that this family is a nightmare to deal with when it comes to mental health.

Apparently my older sister has somehow convinced my brother that someone put a curse on him, and that his son needs to see a psychic…and I just can't fucking believe it. I always thought he was the most "normal" out of all of us, but I guess I was wrong.

It hurts so much knowing that someone who I watched grow up has been totally tainted by his environment to the point where he's struggling like this and it's not fair, especially knowing he won't get any support with his problems.