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wham311

Warlock
Mar 1, 2025
760
Life is excrutiating.

I really, really really wish someone would put me out of my misery. Site needs a hit man. World needs maid.
 
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S like Siren

S like Siren

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,578
Non mi sento a casa da nessuna parte qui.
 
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Arachno

Arachno

oh no :(
Apr 10, 2023
261
In the last few days I've been dealing with pressure in the area of my heart, idk what's causing it, frankly I'm pretty scared, I really hope it it's nothing serious.
 
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Unbearable Mr. Bear

Unbearable Mr. Bear

Sometimes, all you need is a hug...
May 9, 2025
707
Absolutely on the edge. Everything hurts. Trying not to hurt people but hurting myself instead.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
4,894
Well, I feel a bit proud of myself right now since I figured out how to set up a pirated game I downloaded. I've never done something like this before, plus I'm an idiot, so basic shit tends to be more confusing for me. The fact that I succeeded shocks me, lol. I wanted to play it for a while, but I don't tend to like purchasing things online, because I'm always paranoid about someone still my debit card info or something.

Edit: Never mind. Some sort of shit is going on involving the unityplayer, so now I have to deal with that. 😭

Edit 2: Too Fast Too Furious: I gave up and just downloaded it from Stream. On the brightside, there was a discount on it which is pretty nice.
 
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purplesky9

Experienced
Sep 21, 2024
234
I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to en
Hurt, alone. My partner has been ignoring my texts for the last couple of days. He's my only friend.
 
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Dejected 55

Dejected 55

Arcanist
May 7, 2025
409
Still headache and nausea today. I haven't eaten since early yesterday. I have no real interest in food. I don't have much interest in anything really.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
4,894
I want to shoot myself in the head. I don't get why this is, but my suicidal thoughts and desires will sometimes just randomly start to get stronger, then dampen, and then get stronger again. The same goes for my self-loathing thoughts and self-destructive urges. At the very least, they aren't right now bad enough for me to feel like I have to work to try and not act on them. Sometimes they get so bad that I find myself having an extremely strong urges to just act on my suicidal and self-destructive tendencies and I have to work hard to fight against it. It probably helps that, due to how I was raised, along with my mom being home all the time due to still looking for a job, I find it a bit easier to not act on them. It's like there is this sort of barrier that keeps it all on. On the downside, because of this barrier, it leads to me feeling worse and sometimes leads to those thoughts and urges strengthening. It's like continually filling a balloon with water until it is on the verge of bursting. I remember regularly feeling this when I was younger and it has worsened now that I am an adult. I think that part of why is because, when I was younger, I didn't feel like I had the same level of freedom compared to now. I'm still pretty sheltered and my mother does smother me sometimes (to the point where her friends have called her out on it), but I also have the ability to do things, like buy alcohol and weed, and sext without having to worry about getting in trouble for distributing CSEM (minors cam get in trouble for distributing csem of themselves), and so on.

Along with that, when I was younger I used to also feel more obligated to be a good girl and stay out of trouble due to my having a constant fear of being a burden to my family and them getting tired of me and eventually abandoning me. Now, as an adult, I don't care as much anymore. I still often find myself thinking about just seeking out and running away from here and living on the streets or something.
 
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Dejected 55

Dejected 55

Arcanist
May 7, 2025
409
Still haven't eaten since early Saturday. Headache and nausea were worse today. Stayed in bed for more than 14 hours to try and get some sleep and not really caring about getting out of bed anyway.
 
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Grog

Grog

Be good to yourself.
Jun 3, 2025
172
I wish I could take people's problems away so they wouldn't have to feel so badly anymore…
 
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wham311

Warlock
Mar 1, 2025
760
Still headache and nausea today. I haven't eaten since early yesterday. I have no real interest in food. I don't have much interest in anything really.
I am so jealous of the non eaters. Only dopamine I get and only thing to do is eat, I have fuçkign ballooned with no sign of stopping
I wish I could take people's problems away so they wouldn't have to feel so badly anymore…
Come shoot me in the head :)
I wish I could take people's problems away so they wouldn't have to feel so badly anymore…
Come shoot me in the head :)
 
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Reactions: lifeisadream and CTB Dream
Namelesa

Namelesa

Global Mod · Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,887
I just feel so overwhelmed with everything. I worry no matter what, its never going to be enough to feel better. I don't know what I want at this point aside from death. Everything feels like I just do is so I provide something to others or just to feel less awful. Anything i will do will eventually become more and more empty and less fulfilling. Games, friends, work, whatever it is will become that way. I will never feel whole.
 
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Grog

Grog

Be good to yourself.
Jun 3, 2025
172
I'm feeling over the moon today~ 😁
 
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Dejected 55

Dejected 55

Arcanist
May 7, 2025
409
Depressed, dejected, wishing every night that I don't wake up the next day so I don't have to worry if I'll have the courage to go through with self-exit in a couple of months. Finally ate something late last night/early this morning, just because. Still not eating nearly enough because I have no real appetite and food all tastes meh to me. I have no reason to live, no reason to do anything. It is so exhausting just to get out of bed for any reason. I wish I could be in a coma. I have nobody and that is killing me. I feel like I could do things, be someone, I don't mean someone famous. I don't want fame and wealth. But I could be someone important to someone else, and maybe be happy... but I can't have that. Just that one little thing. I can never have it, and I want so bad to just be gone right now.
 
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badkarma4618

badkarma4618

Marika the Eternal
May 13, 2025
108
a little out of place. like my thoughts are walking ahead of me and i am trying to catch up but everything feels blurry. i keep forgetting what i was doing even while i am doing it. nothing is exactly wrong but nothing fits quite right either. it is like waking up in a dream that looks like my life but something is just a little off. i am trying to be present but my mind keeps slipping through the cracks.
 

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