seeweed
New Member
- Feb 2, 2026
- 4
ive always been lonely. That feeling has never left me as a kid and it really had taken a toll on me. I grew up lonely, with my brother being 10 years older than me. I never had anyone to teach me how to ride a bike, do chores properly, all because my family believed that I am a worthless child just deserving to be left alone on the streets.
I guess things do change over time, but it feels a little bit too late. People change, my parents did, they started to take care of me more and more. But it still felt off. Why not introduce the same care when i was still 6? I did learn that not everyone is meant to be a parent. A figure. but god, I really sometimes just long to have one.
Its like poison everytime they actually start showing they actually care for me. Why only now? It confuses me more and more.
Anyway, even with others around, different people, different faces and names, they all feel the.. same. Maybe im too paranoid, too untrusting. Too uncomfortable. Ive learned that as i grow older, i can handle all my feelings myself. I dont need anyone to comfort or talk to me, I dont need to lean on someones shoulder. I think im just too scared to open up or be vulnerable towards anyone.
I now have friends to support me. I really do appreciate them. But i still just feel lonely, and i really feel bad for them because it seems theyre really hoping for something out of a person like me. Theres nothing. Im a hopeless wreck. What do people even see in me?
Im confusing. I dont want comfort, i dont want to talk, but sometimes I find myself longing to feel the beauty of opening up to others.
I guess things do change over time, but it feels a little bit too late. People change, my parents did, they started to take care of me more and more. But it still felt off. Why not introduce the same care when i was still 6? I did learn that not everyone is meant to be a parent. A figure. but god, I really sometimes just long to have one.
Its like poison everytime they actually start showing they actually care for me. Why only now? It confuses me more and more.
Anyway, even with others around, different people, different faces and names, they all feel the.. same. Maybe im too paranoid, too untrusting. Too uncomfortable. Ive learned that as i grow older, i can handle all my feelings myself. I dont need anyone to comfort or talk to me, I dont need to lean on someones shoulder. I think im just too scared to open up or be vulnerable towards anyone.
I now have friends to support me. I really do appreciate them. But i still just feel lonely, and i really feel bad for them because it seems theyre really hoping for something out of a person like me. Theres nothing. Im a hopeless wreck. What do people even see in me?
Im confusing. I dont want comfort, i dont want to talk, but sometimes I find myself longing to feel the beauty of opening up to others.
