I wish i died many years ago anyone else relate?

[shaggy_dooo]

Alot of people will tell you the same bs like it gets better etc etc but it doesnt sometimes continuing to live leads to an even more fucked up ending than if i had kms years ago or had left years ago now my life got even worse health even worse and ive suffered alot more that it could've been avoided ive done my wrongs but i never killed anyone the people that harmed me are still blessed i wish i would've avoided all of this by ctb years ago plus im getting older that doesnt make me feel any better im in my 20s now i been suicidal since i was in my teens and is my biggest regret today but its too fucking late all the suffering i been carrying for years and years. I really wish i would've ended this. I dont intend to discourage anybody this is my personal experience and thats it.

 

[PanaxMan]

Alot of people will tell you the same bs like it gets better etc etc but it doesnt sometimes continuing to live leads to an even more fucked up ending than if i had kms years ago or had left years ago now my life got even worse health even worse and ive suffered alot more that it could've been avoided ive done my wrongs but i never killed anyone the people that harmed me are still blessed i wish i would've avoided all of this by ctb years ago plus im getting older that doesnt make me feel any better im in my 20s now i been suicidal since i was in my teens and is my biggest regret today but its too fucking late all the suffering i been carrying for years and years. I really wish i would've ended this. I dont intend to discourage anybody this is my personal experience and thats it.

I flew out of a car and experienced a nde. The car crash was caused by extremely exhaustion by my older brother and he sped into a metal traffic barrier by oversteering plus speeding into a exit. Wish I died then.

 

[bellaisdonewithlife]

I flew out of a car and experienced a nde. The car crash was caused by extremely exhaustion by my older brother and he sped into a metal traffic barrier by oversteering plus speeding into an exit. Wish I died then.

Woah. That sounds terrifying. What was the NDE like?

 

[PanaxMan]

Woah. That sounds terrifying. What was the NDE like?

Black and darkness and extremely peaceful

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

You shouldn't have to feel bad for sharing your own personal experience, but I understand why you do. I think especially as we get older there is pressure to set a good example, and to motivate/guide others towards a better future, especially people who are younger than us. So being too honest is seen as a negative thing, due to the potential for influencing how others may perceive their own situation.

On the other hand, honesty is also important, and I find that being open about your experiences is truly the only way that others can ever begin to understand and take these matters seriously. Here is the only place I've ever found where I can be honest, and I don't think you should have to hold back either. Only individuals can make these decisions for ourselves about what we feel is worth it.

I feel very similar to both of you, I wish that I had passed when I was younger. I really started feeling suicidal as a teenager, but I was constantly told that life could turn around once I became an adult. Here I am in my late 20s now, in an even worse situation, but everyone seems to magically expect that people can turn things around on their own.

Since my teenage years, I developed chronic illnesses and pain. My ability to enjoy life is extremely limited by the constant experience of physical pain, and as I've gotten older, I just get to experience pain in new ways. The majority of the family members I grew up around have died, and I've had to witness so much sickness ravage people I cared about. Most of my close friends from university and such have moved on with their lives and seriously pursing careers, marriages etc now. There is 0 chance of me having children, and I've been in a couple long term abusive relationships now that have worn me out further.

I honestly don't understand what marvelous future people think is awaiting me. Being alone, and carrying memories of grief, isolation, pain, and so on, doesn't make me happy. Objectively, it would have been better off for me to have gone when I was younger, before I developed all these horrible conditions. While it's true that I've gotten to have some nice experiences like traveling, I honestly don't feel like it's worth it for me when weighed against the pain I am experiencing in daily life. It's been almost 10 years now since I first got ill, and my health hasn't improved at all.

 

[Daisy88_99]

If there was a button that could kill me instantly, I would press it without hesitation and I would for years. The ONLY thing stopping me is the lack of PAINLESS methods available.

 

[suimaxxer]

me too. shouldnt have even been born at all

 

[FuneralCry]

Always as to suffer in this existence truly is the most terrible, torturous burden that just causes all this harm and suffering and I'll always see it as a mistake to suffer in this existence, for me non-existence is just all that's positive.

For me ceasing to exist would be the positive solution to find peace from all the suffering and torture in this existence that never should had been imposed and it's just so terrible how this existence was even imposed.

No matter what I'll always see the existence of life as the most terrible, devastating tragedy that just causes all this cruelty, torture and suffering, to me existence will just always be an abomination and I always suffer so much from being trapped in this torturous existence so cruelly denied the option to fall asleep permanently, I find it so horrific how the torture of existing can continue for decades longer just for one to face the agony of old age with no limit as to how much one can be tortured.

 

[ILikeSylveon]

Kinda same, now i wish i should've killed myself that moment, 4 years ago. Now i feel myself more trapped within life with more chains i never asked for.

 

[Spongiform]

When my wife left me I tried to CTB. It didn't work. I wish it had though.

Interesting thing is, immediately after I did it and thought I was about to die I felt biggest wave of relief flow over me. I was scared leading up to it and it took a lot to go through with it but once I did. Man. It felt GOOD. None of this shit is my problem anymore. A huge weight off my shoulders.

I was sitting on the floor with a little bottle of fireball whiskey, with the poison added to it. Just trying to work up the courage to down it. I had to force myself to drank some alcohol to help loosen up. My wife watched the whole thing. When I hesitated for too long she told me to hurry up and get it over with. That was nice of her and that was what it took to get me over that hump.

I figured it wouldn't take too long to work it's magic. I had originally decided I wanted to be home with my wife and daughter when I did it, so I at least we were together one last time but after I drank it I had the thought that maybe my daughter shouldn't see this.

So once enough time passed I had my wifi call 911. It's a rural area so I figured by the time they got here and I got to the hospital it would be far too late.

Got to the hospital and.. I'm still fine. Well now this is awkward. Then I saw my fucking mom walks by randomly. Like she had an anxiety attack and was there separately at the same time. wild. I figured well, it can't be much longer. and well it never happened. zero side effects. fuck me and off to the mental ward with me.

Wife visited me in the hospital and was apologizing and I thought we were making up but that didn't last long. By the time I got out of the psyche ward she was back to hating me again.

That was 15 months ago and I wish so fucking much that it had worked. I have not enjoyed my life since then. She won't even let me see my daughter.

 

[TooMuchHasHappened]

Always as to suffer in this existence truly is the most terrible, torturous burden that just causes all this harm and suffering and I'll always see it as a mistake to suffer in this existence, for me non-existence is just all that's positive.

For me ceasing to exist would be the positive solution to find peace from all the suffering and torture in this existence that never should had been imposed and it's just so terrible how this existence was even imposed.

No matter what I'll always see the existence of life as the most terrible, devastating tragedy that just causes all this cruelty, torture and suffering, to me existence will just always be an abomination and I always suffer so much from being trapped in this torturous existence so cruelly denied the option to fall asleep permanently, I find it so horrific how the torture of existing can continue for decades longer just for one to face the agony of old age with no limit as to how much one can be tortured.

Why do you find it necessary to keep repeating the same rhetoric over and over and over again, spewing out the same s**t. You've been on here for 6 years and have over 48,000 posts repeating the same s**t over and over again. It's seems to me like you're trying to brainwash people with your cult like rhetoric and you should be banned in my opinion. It's the likes of you that give this site a bad name, because reading your posts will make people feel even worse about themselves and about life in general than they already do. I don't know what you're game is, or why you're really here, but I personally think your on here for some sick twisted reason. I think you get a kick out of what you're doing, some could argue your posts are preying on the vulnerable, and I think you know full well what you're up to. It seems to me like you're trying to encourage people to end their lives, but you're "trying" to be clever about it by making it seem like it's just how YOU feel about things (so you don't break any rules). But some of us, like myself, are wise enough to see through that and know what you're up. I know, that when a person reads your posts (even if they aren't directly encouraging) that they will plant a seed in that persons head, and (if repeatedly exposed to your posts) could cause that person to start thinking the same way that you do, hence my accusation of your rhetoric being "cult like" and a form of brainwashing, because your posts are literally the definition of them.

I'm honestly astonished that you're still allowed on here. I've not been on here for long, and I obviously don't follow you or go out of my way to look for what you post etc, but every single one of your posts that I have seen is more or less the same. From what I've seen (and again I don't know your post history) you do not make any meaningful contributions to this site whatsoever, you do however, massively taint the reputation of this site and put it's very existence at risk. This is not a site that encourages suicide, but any investigation into this site would hone in on your posts as doing just that, no matter what kind of spin you "try" to put on them.

You've actually been specifically pointed out on social media (well they didn't give your actual user name, so people didn't go searching, but it was blatantly obvious that they were talking about you) because of your rhetoric on here. There was also piece a couple of weeks ago on one of the main U.K. TV news channels, where they were interviewing some parents who'd lost their daughter who'd been a member on here. These parents (and probably the families of others who've been on here) with the help of British MP's are now lobbying for this site to be closed down, and the likes of you, with your rhetoric, are giving them reasons to do so, yes I obviously know there are plenty of other reasons too in the eyes of a "normie" but we need to reduce the reasons as much as practicable possible not add to them. Your posts do absolutely nothing for this site (except take up space) or anything positive for any other member, they just add fuel to the fire. You are giving this site a bad name because any journalist or government officials etc looking into this site and seeing your posts will absolutely without doubt come to the conclusion that this site is encouraging people to take their lives (again, even if your posts are not directed at anyone else). People like you will be a contributing factor to why this site is now blocked in some countries, and why the U.K. government (and probably others) are trying to get this site closed down. In fact, I've actually seen a video on YouTube that specifically says that this site is encouraging people to die because of YOUR posts, they didn't specifically mention your username or the name of this site (for obvious reasons) but they did mention the amount of posts and how long you'd been on here (so it wasn't hard to figure out it was you). It was actually that video that lead me to this site (because prior to that I didn't know a site like this existed) and when I joined here it was obvious to me that they were talking about you. So, if I was able to find this site from a video on YouTube that didn't specifically name it, as well as know that the user they were talking about was you, then I'm sure others can too (including investigators). So, partly because of YOUR posts, there is a video on YouTube that says this site is actively encouraging suicide, not good.

If this was my site you'd have been banned years ago, along with anyone else like you, because you, and people like you, could eventually be responsible for getting this site closed down, and that would be absolutely heartbreaking for almost everyone on here because there is nowhere else (to my knowledge) like this site. So many people on here need this site, without this site things would be much worse for them I'm sure (I certainly feel this way), they depend on it for many reasons, they need a sanctuary where they can share their feelings and their plans with likeminded individuals without fear of being judged, or worse, being locked up and sent to a mental hospital (or something) against their will. If it were any other site then I'd describe it as a "lifesaver", and even though it literally will be for many who become members here, that would be the most ironic statement I've ever made in my life. This site caters for every type of suicidal person, no matter what their reasons for being so are, and is a welcomed home for many of us. I've only been here for a short time and the highlight of my day is being on this site (to read posts, post myself, and talk to others etc). This site means a lot to me, as I'm sure it does for the vast majority of those on here who need someplace like this. You, and your rhetoric, are putting the very existence of a site like this in jeopardy and you should not be allowed to do so.

I've already reported you once when I came across your own thread and couldn't believe my eyes when I seen how many posts you've made repeating exactly the same s**h. The Mod who replied to me (to my bewilderment) basically said that they weren't going to do anything because it "wasn't spilling over into the general discussion", but it obviously it isn't it. Also (in my opinion), it doesn't matter where you posts are, they are on here period and anyone (like myself unfortunately) can come across them. I hope the Mods take everything I've said into account and facilitate the swift removal of you and anyone else preaching the kind of stuff that you do.

I'm probably going to take some heat for this post off anyone who sympathises with you (for whatever reason), but in this case I honestly don't care and will not be responding to anyone who disagrees with me because it needed to be said. The possible consequences of your posts needed to be highlighted, and if you truly care about this site and the longevity of it, along with the other members on here (which from your posts you do not) then you need to have all that s**h delete and actually contribute to this site in a meaningful manner with some constructive posts instead of the toxic rhetoric that you spew out all the time. I'd like to think there are others on here who agree with me and I'd appreciate a simple if you do. I'm sure many people on here (even the ones who won't publicly acknowledge it) will be pleased that I've called you out on this because it needed to be done.

I've tried to not be rude or offensive here but obviously it's very difficult or impossible to do so in such a case. I shouldn't have even had to make a post like this in the first place because you should have been stopped a long time ago… but here we are.

 

[geepeedee]

Why do you find it necessary to keep repeating the same rhetoric over and over and over again, spewing out the same s**t. You've been on here for 6 years and have over 48,000 posts repeating the same s**t over and over again. It's seems to me like you're trying to brainwash people with your cult like rhetoric and you should be banned in my opinion. It's the likes of you that give this site a bad name, because reading your posts will make people feel even worse about themselves and about life in general than they already do. I don't know what you're game is, or why you're really here, but I personally think your on here for some sick twisted reason. I think you get a kick out of what you're doing, some could argue your posts are preying on the vulnerable, and I think you know full well what you're up to. It seems to me like you're trying to encourage people to end their lives, but you're "trying" to be clever about it by making it seem like it's just how YOU feel about things (so you don't break any rules). But some of us, like myself, are wise enough to see through that and know what you're up. I know, that when a person reads your posts (even if they aren't directly encouraging) that they will plant a seed in that persons head, and (if repeatedly exposed to your posts) could cause that person to start thinking the same way that you do, hence my accusation of your rhetoric being "cult like" and a form of brainwashing, because your posts are literally the definition of them.

I'm honestly astonished that you're still allowed on here. I've not been on here for long, and I obviously don't follow you or go out of my way to look for what you post etc, but every single one of your posts that I have seen is more or less the same. From what I've seen (and again I don't know your post history) you do not make any meaningful contributions to this site whatsoever, you do however, massively taint the reputation of this site and put it's very existence at risk. This is not a site that encourages suicide, but any investigation into this site would hone in on your posts as doing just that, no matter what kind of spin you "try" to put on them.

You've actually been specifically pointed out on social media (well they didn't give your actual user name, so people didn't go searching, but it was blatantly obvious that they were talking about you) because of your rhetoric on here. There was also piece a couple of weeks ago on one of the main U.K. TV news channels, where they were interviewing some parents who'd lost their daughter who'd been a member on here. These parents (and probably the families of others who've been on here) with the help of British MP's are now lobbying for this site to be closed down, and the likes of you, with your rhetoric, are giving them reasons to do so, yes I obviously know there are plenty of other reasons too in the eyes of a "normie" but we need to reduce the reasons as much as practicable possible not add to them. Your posts do absolutely nothing for this site (except take up space) or anything positive for any other member, they just add fuel to the fire. You are giving this site a bad name because any journalist or government officials etc looking into this site and seeing your posts will absolutely without doubt come to the conclusion that this site is encouraging people to take their lives (again, even if your posts are not directed at anyone else). People like you will be a contributing factor to why this site is now blocked in some countries, and why the U.K. government (and probably others) are trying to get this site closed down. In fact, I've actually seen a video on YouTube that specifically says that this site is encouraging people to die because of YOUR posts, they didn't specifically mention your username or the name of this site (for obvious reasons) but they did mention the amount of posts and how long you'd been on here (so it wasn't hard to figure out it was you). It was actually that video that lead me to this site (because prior to that I didn't know a site like this existed) and when I joined here it was obvious to me that they were talking about you. So, if I was able to find this site from a video on YouTube that didn't specifically name it, as well as know that the user they were talking about was you, then I'm sure others can too (including investigators). So, partly because of YOUR posts, there is a video on YouTube that says this site is actively encouraging suicide, not good.

If this was my site you'd have been banned years ago, along with anyone else like you, because you, and people like you, could eventually be responsible for getting this site closed down, and that would be absolutely heartbreaking for almost everyone on here because there is nowhere else (to my knowledge) like this site. So many people on here need this site, without this site things would be much worse for them I'm sure (I certainly feel this way), they depend on it for many reasons, they need a sanctuary where they can share their feelings and their plans with likeminded individuals without fear of being judged, or worse, being locked up and sent to a mental hospital (or something) against their will. If it were any other site then I'd describe it as a "lifesaver", and even though it literally will be for many who become members here, that would be the most ironic statement I've ever made in my life. This site caters for every type of suicidal person, no matter what their reasons for being so are, and is a welcomed home for many of us. I've only been here for a short time and the highlight of my day is being on this site (to read posts, post myself, and talk to others etc). This site means a lot to me, as I'm sure it does for the vast majority of those on here who need someplace like this. You, and your rhetoric, are putting the very existence of a site like this in jeopardy and you should not be allowed to do so.

I've already reported you once when I came across your own thread and couldn't believe my eyes when I seen how many posts you've made repeating exactly the same s**h. The Mod who replied to me (to my bewilderment) basically said that they weren't going to do anything because it "wasn't spilling over into the general discussion", but it obviously it isn't it. Also (in my opinion), it doesn't matter where you posts are, they are on here period and anyone (like myself unfortunately) can come across them. I hope the Mods take everything I've said into account and facilitate the swift removal of you and anyone else preaching the kind of stuff that you do.

I'm probably going to take some heat for this post off anyone who sympathises with you (for whatever reason), but in this case I honestly don't care and will not be responding to anyone who disagrees with me because it needed to be said. The possible consequences of your posts needed to be highlighted, and if you truly care about this site and the longevity of it, along with the other members on here (which from your posts you do not) then you need to have all that s**h delete and actually contribute to this site in a meaningful manner with some constructive posts instead of the toxic rhetoric that you spew out all the time. I'd like to think there are others on here who agree with me and I'd appreciate a simple if you do. I'm sure many people on here (even the ones who won't publicly acknowledge it) will be pleased that I've called you out on this because it needed to be done.

I've tried to not be rude or offensive here but obviously it's very difficult or impossible to do so in such a case. I shouldn't have even had to make a post like this in the first place because you should have been stopped a long time ago… but here we are.

he won't respond; likely a bot of some kind.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

Why do you find it necessary to keep repeating the same rhetoric over and over and over again, spewing out the same s**t. You've been on here for 6 years and have over 48,000 posts repeating the same s**t over and over again. It's seems to me like you're trying to brainwash people with your cult like rhetoric and you should be banned in my opinion. It's the likes of you that give this site a bad name, because reading your posts will make people feel even worse about themselves and about life in general than they already do. I don't know what you're game is, or why you're really here, but I personally think your on here for some sick twisted reason. I think you get a kick out of what you're doing, some could argue your posts are preying on the vulnerable, and I think you know full well what you're up to. It seems to me like you're trying to encourage people to end their lives, but you're "trying" to be clever about it by making it seem like it's just how YOU feel about things (so you don't break any rules). But some of us, like myself, are wise enough to see through that and know what you're up. I know, that when a person reads your posts (even if they aren't directly encouraging) that they will plant a seed in that persons head, and (if repeatedly exposed to your posts) could cause that person to start thinking the same way that you do, hence my accusation of your rhetoric being "cult like" and a form of brainwashing, because your posts are literally the definition of them.

I'm honestly astonished that you're still allowed on here. I've not been on here for long, and I obviously don't follow you or go out of my way to look for what you post etc, but every single one of your posts that I have seen is more or less the same. From what I've seen (and again I don't know your post history) you do not make any meaningful contributions to this site whatsoever, you do however, massively taint the reputation of this site and put it's very existence at risk. This is not a site that encourages suicide, but any investigation into this site would hone in on your posts as doing just that, no matter what kind of spin you "try" to put on them.

You've actually been specifically pointed out on social media (well they didn't give your actual user name, so people didn't go searching, but it was blatantly obvious that they were talking about you) because of your rhetoric on here. There was also piece a couple of weeks ago on one of the main U.K. TV news channels, where they were interviewing some parents who'd lost their daughter who'd been a member on here. These parents (and probably the families of others who've been on here) with the help of British MP's are now lobbying for this site to be closed down, and the likes of you, with your rhetoric, are giving them reasons to do so, yes I obviously know there are plenty of other reasons too in the eyes of a "normie" but we need to reduce the reasons as much as practicable possible not add to them. Your posts do absolutely nothing for this site (except take up space) or anything positive for any other member, they just add fuel to the fire. You are giving this site a bad name because any journalist or government officials etc looking into this site and seeing your posts will absolutely without doubt come to the conclusion that this site is encouraging people to take their lives (again, even if your posts are not directed at anyone else). People like you will be a contributing factor to why this site is now blocked in some countries, and why the U.K. government (and probably others) are trying to get this site closed down. In fact, I've actually seen a video on YouTube that specifically says that this site is encouraging people to die because of YOUR posts, they didn't specifically mention your username or the name of this site (for obvious reasons) but they did mention the amount of posts and how long you'd been on here (so it wasn't hard to figure out it was you). It was actually that video that lead me to this site (because prior to that I didn't know a site like this existed) and when I joined here it was obvious to me that they were talking about you. So, if I was able to find this site from a video on YouTube that didn't specifically name it, as well as know that the user they were talking about was you, then I'm sure others can too (including investigators). So, partly because of YOUR posts, there is a video on YouTube that says this site is actively encouraging suicide, not good.

If this was my site you'd have been banned years ago, along with anyone else like you, because you, and people like you, could eventually be responsible for getting this site closed down, and that would be absolutely heartbreaking for almost everyone on here because there is nowhere else (to my knowledge) like this site. So many people on here need this site, without this site things would be much worse for them I'm sure (I certainly feel this way), they depend on it for many reasons, they need a sanctuary where they can share their feelings and their plans with likeminded individuals without fear of being judged, or worse, being locked up and sent to a mental hospital (or something) against their will. If it were any other site then I'd describe it as a "lifesaver", and even though it literally will be for many who become members here, that would be the most ironic statement I've ever made in my life. This site caters for every type of suicidal person, no matter what their reasons for being so are, and is a welcomed home for many of us. I've only been here for a short time and the highlight of my day is being on this site (to read posts, post myself, and talk to others etc). This site means a lot to me, as I'm sure it does for the vast majority of those on here who need someplace like this. You, and your rhetoric, are putting the very existence of a site like this in jeopardy and you should not be allowed to do so.

I've already reported you once when I came across your own thread and couldn't believe my eyes when I seen how many posts you've made repeating exactly the same s**h. The Mod who replied to me (to my bewilderment) basically said that they weren't going to do anything because it "wasn't spilling over into the general discussion", but it obviously it isn't it. Also (in my opinion), it doesn't matter where you posts are, they are on here period and anyone (like myself unfortunately) can come across them. I hope the Mods take everything I've said into account and facilitate the swift removal of you and anyone else preaching the kind of stuff that you do.

I'm probably going to take some heat for this post off anyone who sympathises with you (for whatever reason), but in this case I honestly don't care and will not be responding to anyone who disagrees with me because it needed to be said. The possible consequences of your posts needed to be highlighted, and if you truly care about this site and the longevity of it, along with the other members on here (which from your posts you do not) then you need to have all that s**h delete and actually contribute to this site in a meaningful manner with some constructive posts instead of the toxic rhetoric that you spew out all the time. I'd like to think there are others on here who agree with me and I'd appreciate a simple if you do. I'm sure many people on here (even the ones who won't publicly acknowledge it) will be pleased that I've called you out on this because it needed to be done.

I've tried to not be rude or offensive here but obviously it's very difficult or impossible to do so in such a case. I shouldn't have even had to make a post like this in the first place because you should have been stopped a long time ago… but here we are.

Their posts are very repetitive, but I don't think they qualify as being "cult like". And certainly they have the right to hold whatever views they wish on life. I have often found myself agreeing with their perspective over the years. Although they did make more nuanced - and less repetitive - posts in the past.

It's obvious to many of us, that FC is suffering. But they just express that pain in a way that seems strange to people.

I will trust that the mods know how best to deal with these things, as they generally do a great job keeping this place functioning well.

 

[Bitterly_Nostalgic]

I wish I had died during either my first or second attempt. Looking back, both were stupid attempts that were poorly done and stood no chance of actually working but I still wish so much that they had. I'm so tired of the suicidal ideation and other mental health issues always returning no matter that I do.

 

[TooMuchHasHappened]

Their posts are very repetitive, but I don't think they qualify as being "cult like". And certainly they have the right to hold whatever views they wish on life. I have often found myself agreeing with their perspective over the years. Although they did make more nuanced - and less repetitive - posts in the past.

It's obvious to many of us, that FC is suffering. But they just express that pain in a way that seems strange to people.

I will trust that the mods know how best to deal with these things, as they generally do a great job keeping this place functioning well.

Please look up the definition of cult ("cult like" is just my personal description of such rhetoric) because one of the defining characteristics is "obsessive devotion to a principle or thing". So, with over 48,000 posts repeating more or less the same rhetoric (although I've obviously not seen every one), it could well be seen by many (myself included) as being "cult like", and it will most likely be seen as such to all outsiders. FC posts in threads that can be seen by non-members, so can you imagine how a non-suicidal person may interpret FC's posts if they see them, they're interpreted as encouraging suicide. This site is already labelled by the media and by the families of some of the deceased members as being pro-suicide (which it's not), and FC's posts have been highlighted in the media as encouraging suicide on here. So having posts like FC's is giving them fuel for their fire, and you should not be condoning this kind of behaviour under any circumstances. FC has been banned before for their behaviour I've heard, and I know that so many on here feel exactly the same as I do about this situation.

I agree with you, FC does have the right to hold whatever views they want, but they do not have the right to put this site in jeopardy which they are doing, because as I've said, FC's posts have been highlighted in the media as promoting or encouraging suicide on this site. I can understand why you're defending FC if you've found yourself agreeing with FC's perspectives in the past, and in that case I'm so sorry to hear you feel (or have felt) that way, but it is not fair to constantly impose those views on others who don't share those views, and on those who don't want to be influenced by them, they are toxic. Maybe you were influenced by FC and wouldn't have felt that way if you hadn't have read such rhetoric, just a thought. We're all able to make our own decisions and come to our own conclusions, but some of us are more vulnerable to being influenced by the actions of others, and considering everyone on here could be considered as vulnerable due to the very nature of this site, this is the last place to be preaching the kind of rhetoric that could make people want to end their lives more than they already do. If a person wants to end their life for whatever reason then that should be entirely up to them, they should not be encouraged or made to feel even worse about life than they already do, and anyone reading FC's posts is hardly going to feel better about life after reading them. Plus, and most importantly, posts like that puts this site in jeopardy, and nobody should be defending or condoning this behaviour. If you sympathise with FC then I don't expect my response to change your perspective in any way, it's more for other users to see my response to your comment. You clearly share (or have done in the past by your own admission) the same ideology as FC, and ideology is a set of beliefs so strongly held by their adherents as to cause them to ignore evidence against such beliefs, so I can understand why you would defend FC.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

Please look up the definition of cult, because one of the defining characteristics is "obsessive devotion to a principle or thing". So, with over 48,000 posts repeating more or less the same rhetoric (although I've obviously not seen every one), it could well be seen by many (myself included) as being "cult like", and it will most likely be seen as such to all outsiders. FC posts in threads that can be seen by non-members, so can you imagine how a non-suicidal person may interpret FC's posts if they see them, they're interpreted as encouraging suicide. This site is already labelled by the media and by the families of some of the deceased members as being pro-suicide (which it's not), and FC's posts have been highlighted in the media as encouraging suicide on here. So having posts like FC's is giving them fuel for their fire, and you should not be condoning this kind of behaviour under any circumstances. FC has been banned before for their behaviour I've heard, and I know that so many on here feel exactly the same as I do about this situation.

I agree with you, FC does have the right to hold whatever views they want, but they do not have the right to put this site in jeopardy which they are doing, because as I've said, FC's posts have been highlighted in the media as promoting or encouraging suicide on this site. I can understand why you're defending FC if you've found yourself agreeing with FC's perspectives in the past, and in that case I'm so sorry to hear you feel (or have felt) that way, but it is not fair to constantly impose those views on others who don't share those views, and on those who don't want to be influenced by them, they are toxic. Maybe you were influenced by FC and wouldn't have felt that way if you hadn't have read such rhetoric, just a thought. We're all able to make our own decisions and come to our own conclusions, but some of us are more vulnerable to being influenced by the actions of others, and considering everyone on here could be considered as vulnerable due to the very nature of this site, this is the last place to be preaching the kind of rhetoric that could make people want to end their lives more than they already do. If a person wants to end their life for whatever reason then that should be entirely up to them, they should not be encouraged or made to feel even worse about life than they already do, and anyone reading FC's posts is hardly going to feel better about life after reading them. Plus, and most importantly, posts like that puts this site in jeopardy, and nobody should be defending or condoning this behaviour. If you sympathise with FC then I don't expect my response to change your perspective in any way, it's more for other users to see my response to your comment. You clearly share (or have done in the past by your own admission) the same ideology as FC, and ideology is a set of beliefs so strongly held by their adherents as to cause them to ignore evidence against such beliefs, so I can understand why you would defend FC.

I'm well aware of what a cult is. I disagree with your opinion.

I also disagree that their posts are dangerous or "putting the site in jeopardy".

AFAIK - their ban was related to cluttering the main forum with too many repetitive posts. Not the actual content of their posts. And this is why they were asked by mods to create a dedicated venting thread for these posts.

People frequenting a suicide forum are naturally going to encounter all manner of different views on life and death. You can't stop people from being exposed to different ideas or philosophies, nor should we want to because that is the slippery slope that almost always leads to greater censorship and lack of free speech. (As is the case on most discussion platforms across the internet)

I would suggest if you don't like FC's opinions, simply put them on your ignore list and move on. They have the same right to be here and express their feelings about life as you or I do.

And yes, there's plenty who would agree with your take around here. But there's plenty who don't as well. FC divides opinions, and these type of discussions/arguments have been done ad nauseum on here at this point. I don't really see what another one is going to achieve, but knock yourself out I guess…

 

[BillyBob]

Wish I hade CTB many years ago to save people time, money and resources on trying to fix me.
Nothing is going to make life any better for me in the current state I am in.
All I think about is how the resources could have been spent on someone who actually wanted to live or have a family.
It just seems utterly pointless.

 

[IAmFae]

I also feel like my life has consistently gotten worse and worse and can't imagine a way for it to get better.

 

[TooMuchHasHappened]

I'm well aware of what a cult is. I disagree with your opinion.

I also disagree that their posts are dangerous or "putting the site in jeopardy".

AFAIK - their ban was related to cluttering the main forum with too many repetitive posts. Not the actual content of their posts. And this is why they were asked by mods to create a dedicated venting thread for these posts.

People frequenting a suicide forum are naturally going to encounter all manner of different views on life and death. You can't stop people from being exposed to different ideas or philosophies, nor should we want to because that is the slippery slope that almost always leads to greater censorship and lack of free speech. (As is the case on most discussion platforms across the internet)

I would suggest if you don't like FC's opinions, simply put them on your ignore list and move on. They have the same right to be here and express their feelings about life as you or I do.

And yes, there's plenty who would agree with your take around here. But there's plenty who don't as well. FC divides opinions, and these type of discussions/arguments have been done ad nauseum on here at this point. I don't really see what another one is going to achieve, but knock yourself out I guess…

This is obviously not a dedicated thread for FuneralCry's posts! That justifies my argument here even more. FC is a troll… period! In fact, FC is the worst kind of troll because at least trolls make an effort and engage with others. I'm well aware that FC has been asked to only make their posts in their own thread, and that's my main problem here, because this is not their own thread. FC's posts have no place in the general discussion, because they aren't a discussion, so they shouldn't be allowed. FC just spews out the same toxic rhetoric and it's so disappointing that people like you defend this kind of behaviour. But if you (by your own admission) share FC's perspectives then I'm not surprised that you're trying to do so. FC posts can be seen by anyone (even non-members) and I'd hazard a guess that most people (in the outside world especially) seeing those kinds of posts would interpret them as trying to brainwash others into a suicidal mindset, especially when there's over 48,000 posts repeating more or less the same message. But I understand why you (being of the same mindset as FC) can't see this. Those posts offer nothing positive for anyone on here, they're just all doom and gloom and all about FC, and the sooner you realise that and quit defending the indefensible the better for you and for this site. I've actually heard in the media that this site is promoting suicide specifically because of FC posts (I've already said all this), and that is another part of my problem, so no matter what you say it is a fact that FC's posts are indeed damaging to the reputation of this site. You, as someone who shares FC's ideology, is obviously going to be very narrow minded and not be able to see the evidence against FC's posts and behaviours. I know no matter what I say, that you (and other sympathisers) will never understand and be able to see what the problems are with FC's posts (especially when made in the general discussion), but this response is more for others to read. At least you are making an effort here, so that's one thing I guess. I knew I would face some backlash for calling out FC because everyone has supporters, hell even the worst of the absolute worst people in society who commit the most serious and horrific crimes have supporters (I'm obviously not suggesting in any way shape or form that FC fits into that category, I'm just using that as an example to illustrate that everyone, regardless of whatever they've done, has supporters).

This is a community for likeminded individuals, it should not be a place where people like FC are given a platform to make those kinds of posts wherever and whenever they feel like (especially when there's over 48k of them). FC makes no meaningful or even constructive contribution to this site whatsoever (absolutely zero), or cares about anyone else, anyone else's feelings, or this site in any way. Instead however, FC only cares about FC, and just spews out the same toxic brainwashing message that is obviously working on some people. In my opinion FC's posts are nothing but a waste of space, they do absolutely nothing positive for this site or for anyone on here, they do in fact negatively affect this site and the people on here. I was initially quite shocked that anyone would defend this kind of behaviour, but soon realised that unfortunately there's obviously people like yourself who share in FC's ideology, so I'm not surprised I guess. I can understand people wanting to stay out of this or tolerating FC's behaviour (and just accepting it) because of the site they're on, but actually condoning it (like you are) is very disappointing (but again, if you're of the same mindset I'm not surprised). Look, you clearly have the same mentality as FC, so I'm barking up the wrong tree here I know, but as I've said, this is more for others to read. I hope most users (especially the newer ones who aren't yet familiar with FC) who may defend this kind of behaviour for whatever reason, will realise now or in the future that I'm not the bad guy here, and that my argument is more than justified.

I'd like to say to anyone reading this, please take a look at some of my posts in other threads (I'd like you to do so), you will clearly see that I care about others on here and this site. I do my absolute best to make meaningful and constructive posts and help and support others as best as I can in whatever way I can, and I hope that because of that I'm a welcomed part of this community. I just want what's best for this site and for the users on here, and FC is nothing but bad news for this site. All I'm trying to do here is to protect this site and the users on here from FC's posts (as well as trying to stop them being seen by the outside world). I have absolutely nothing to gain here, but have in fact wasted a lot of my time and effort standing up for what I believe is right. I should not have to spend my time on things like this, I should be doing what I came here for, to engage with likeminded individuals and be a valued contributor to this community in whatever way I can. I could have been helping and supporting others on here, but just felt an overwhelming compulsion to say something about FC, something that needed to be said. Anyone supporting or enabling FC in any way is part of the problem, whether they realise it or not. The only people who will never realise that are those who have the same perspectives as FC (understandably so). I know there will be others on here who will defend FC (for the aforementioned reasons), but trying to defend FC against myself is futile, because in my opinion I put up more than a strong enough argument against FC and their behaviour.

Also, something else I wanted to clear up. I used the idiom "cult like" to describe FC's posts because to me, they have some of the characteristics of, and use some of tactics that are used by cults, this is just my personal interpretation, and like you said, everyone has the right to their opinion.

I will not be responding after this, even though I'm sure that you'll have to have to last word, because unfortunately this has ended up going well off topic now and taking up unnecessary space in a thread it shouldn't even be on in the first place, and I'd rather be spending my time doing what I came here for (like I've already mentioned). If FC would have obeyed what they were asked to do by the Mods and stick to posting in their own threads in the private area, then this wouldn't be no where near as much of an issue as it is. But unfortunately FC chose to ignore what they were asked to do by the Mods so is solely responsible for initiating this reaction from me. FC should not have posted in a thread that they weren't allowed to, so FC is in the wrong.

I will not actively follow FC (because I obviously don't want to see that c**p) or even be curious about what they're up to on here, but if i ever see FC posting that c**p in any of threads that I visit (threads they're not allowed to post on) then I'll respond the same way. I'll simply copy and paste my initial response here, it won't take much effort at all (much like all of FC's posts). I'd hazard a guess that the vast majority of people who come to this site do not want to see that kind of toxic rhetoric and behaviour (especially when it's been repeated over 48,000 times), so I will do what I feel is necessary to inform and protect others (as well as this site) if I see FC's posts entering the general discussion again.

And that's all I've got to say on this matter for now, and hopefully if FC does what they've been asked to do then I'll not have to say anything on this matter ever again.

 

[RinneOfAragon]

Yes, . I wish I had the knowledge I have now regarding ctb. so I'm 36 soon and it's been solid feeling since I was mid teens. How weird to feel this way about life. Just to want it to be over. I actually nearly drowned at 2 years old. very close that was probably a mistake I was saved by a random guy. it can definitely get better for some but for me yes it got worse.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

This is obviously not a dedicated thread for FuneralCry's posts! That justifies my argument here even more. FC is a troll… period! In fact, FC is the worst kind of troll because at least trolls make an effort and engage with others. I'm well aware that FC has been asked to only make their posts in their own thread, and that's my main problem here, because this is not their own thread. FC's posts have no place in the general discussion, because they aren't a discussion, so they shouldn't be allowed. FC just spews out the same toxic rhetoric and it's so disappointing that people like you defend this kind of behaviour. But if you (by your own admission) share FC's perspectives then I'm not surprised that you're trying to do so. FC posts can be seen by anyone (even non-members) and I'd hazard a guess that most people (in the outside world especially) seeing those kinds of posts would interpret them as trying to brainwash others into a suicidal mindset, especially when there's over 48,000 posts repeating more or less the same message. But I understand why you (being of the same mindset as FC) can't see this. Those posts offer nothing positive for anyone on here, they're just all doom and gloom and all about FC, and the sooner you realise that and quit defending the indefensible the better for you and for this site. I've actually heard in the media that this site is promoting suicide specifically because of FC posts (I've already said all this), and that is another part of my problem, so no matter what you say it is a fact that FC's posts are indeed damaging to the reputation of this site. You, as someone who shares FC's ideology, is obviously going to be very narrow minded and not be able to see the evidence against FC's posts and behaviours. I know no matter what I say, that you (and other sympathisers) will never understand and be able to see what the problems are with FC's posts (especially when made in the general discussion), but this response is more for others to read. At least you are making an effort here, so that's one thing I guess. I knew I would face some backlash for calling out FC because everyone has supporters, hell even the worst of the absolute worst people in society who commit the most serious and horrific crimes have supporters (I'm obviously not suggesting in any way shape or form that FC fits into that category, I'm just using that as an example to illustrate that everyone, regardless of whatever they've done, has supporters).

This is a community for likeminded individuals, it should not be a place where people like FC are given a platform to make those kinds of posts wherever and whenever they feel like (especially when there's over 48k of them). FC makes no meaningful or even constructive contribution to this site whatsoever (absolutely zero), or cares about anyone else, anyone else's feelings, or this site in any way. Instead however, FC only cares about FC, and just spews out the same toxic brainwashing message that is obviously working on some people. In my opinion FC's posts are nothing but a waste of space, they do absolutely nothing positive for this site or for anyone on here, they do in fact negatively affect this site and the people on here. I was initially quite shocked that anyone would defend this kind of behaviour, but soon realised that unfortunately there's obviously people like yourself who share in FC's ideology, so I'm not surprised I guess. I can understand people wanting to stay out of this or tolerating FC's behaviour (and just accepting it) because of the site they're on, but actually condoning it (like you are) is very disappointing (but again, if you're of the same mindset I'm not surprised). Look, you clearly have the same mentality as FC, so I'm barking up the wrong tree here I know, but as I've said, this is more for others to read. I hope most users (especially the newer ones who aren't yet familiar with FC) who may defend this kind of behaviour for whatever reason, will realise now or in the future that I'm not the bad guy here, and that my argument is more than justified.

I'd like to say to anyone reading this, please take a look at some of my posts in other threads (I'd like you to do so), you will clearly see that I care about others on here and this site. I do my absolute best to make meaningful and constructive posts and help and support others as best as I can in whatever way I can, and I hope that because of that I'm a welcomed part of this community. I just want what's best for this site and for the users on here, and FC is nothing but bad news for this site. All I'm trying to do here is to protect this site and the users on here from FC's posts (as well as trying to stop them being seen by the outside world). I have absolutely nothing to gain here, but have in fact wasted a lot of my time and effort standing up for what I believe is right. I should not have to spend my time on things like this, I should be doing what I came here for, to engage with likeminded individuals and be a valued contributor to this community in whatever way I can. I could have been helping and supporting others on here, but just felt an overwhelming compulsion to say something about FC, something that needed to be said. Anyone supporting or enabling FC in any way is part of the problem, whether they realise it or not. The only people who will never realise that are those who have the same perspectives as FC (understandably so). I know there will be others on here who will defend FC (for the aforementioned reasons), but trying to defend FC against myself is futile, because in my opinion I put up more than a strong enough argument against FC and their behaviour.

Also, something else I wanted to clear up. I used the idiom "cult like" to describe FC's posts because to me, they have some of the characteristics of, and use some of tactics that are used by cults, this is just my personal interpretation, and like you said, everyone has the right to their opinion.

I will not be responding after this, even though I'm sure that you'll have to have to last word, because unfortunately this has ended up going well off topic now and taking up unnecessary space in a thread it shouldn't even be on in the first place, and I'd rather be spending my time doing what I came here for (like I've already mentioned). If FC would have obeyed what they were asked to do by the Mods and stick to posting in their own threads in the private area, then this wouldn't be no where near as much of an issue as it is. But unfortunately FC chose to ignore what they were asked to do by the Mods so is solely responsible for initiating this reaction from me. FC should not have posted in a thread that they weren't allowed to, so FC is in the wrong.

I will not actively follow FC (because I obviously don't want to see that c**p) or even be curious about what they're up to on here, but if i ever see FC posting that c**p in any of threads that I visit (threads they're not allowed to post on) then I'll respond the same way. I'll simply copy and paste my initial response here, it won't take much effort at all (much like all of FC's posts). I'd hazard a guess that the vast majority of people who come to this site do not want to see that kind of toxic rhetoric and behaviour (especially when it's been repeated over 48,000 times), so I will do what I feel is necessary to inform and protect others (as well as this site) if I see FC's posts entering the general discussion again.

And that's all I've got to say on this matter for now, and hopefully if FC does what they've been asked to do then I'll not have to say anything on this matter ever again.

I'm not reading a diatribe like that, sorry. FC isn't banned from replying to other people's threads, so your attack on them isn't really justified or warranted here.

You're going way over the top. You took it up with the mods, you didn't get your way. You had a thread removed on the topic. I think it's time you back off, and like I suggested maybe consider not reading the posters comments or put them on your ignore list if it bothers you that much.

I'm not giving this any more oxygen, as it's not really fair to be discussing one poster like this on a forum where they come to deal with their issues like everyone else. You don't have to like or agree with the views they express. But it's not up to you to decide who gets to post on the forum.

 

[hurts2b]

Wish I'd just gone ahead and done it at 14. Adult life so far has proved unsustainable.

 

[unluckysadness]

I can relate. I wanted to ctb when I was 18 and now I'm 25 years later (disabled, isolated and still suicidal). Nothing good happened all this time. Only struggles, traumas, huge anxiety, panic attacks, new diseases... I guess it's my shitty karma...

 

[bakenohana]

i wish i died in the womb but unfortunately I didn't. Honestly i don't take care of myself at all partly because i hope i catch a serious infection and die. I'm 18 now turning 19 in a few months and I've been suicidal since i was 10 or so, my life has only gotten progressively worse, I can't even call any point of my life my lowest because my lowest is what I'm at right now

 

[Franc]

Lo intenté a los 13 años y casi lo conseguí. No hay que no me arrepienta de haberme levantado del suelo aquél día y probar a seguir viviendo. Fue la peor idea que he tenido. La vida ha ido a peor lentamente, una tortura lenta y dolorosa. Ahora no me veo capaz y eso que no tengo familia, amigos, suerte o dinero, vivo en la pobreza y sin el valor de quitarme de enmedio