Deathiswelcomed
New Member
- May 21, 2026
- 1
There are many reasons I want to ctb. This is just a vent on how I am feeling. Since I was about 12 maybe 13 my cousin who is younger than me sexually harassed me. I am not the quickest at catching on to things so I am particularly to blame for it if not fully for freezing up. When my cousin got ontop of me and.. grinded against me I didn't understand in the moment and was confused so I just stared at them. No one remembers other than me and I would be blamed or not even believed if I say anything about it. Though I think about this everyday... now years later I still cant stop feeling disgusting like it was my fault.. this knowledge weights on me constantly and contributes to why I feel ctb is my only option. The world is cruel and doesnt care for those to blind to understand or that are to different to fit in. I feel as if I am the one to blame after all I exist and I feel as if the world would have been better without me in it I hate living I feel so tired and drained all the time getting out of bed is worse than hard I can barley keep my balance half of the time and need to use all my focus to make sure I dont trip or fall.
I wish I wasnt born. I will ctb soon.
I wish I wasnt born. I will ctb soon.
