NSFW vent about when I turned 18.

[bluupup]

When I turned 18 a year ago, I felt weird. i'd been waiting for 18 so I could legally consent, and I'd been waiting since I was 12. I got with this girl when I was 17, and we were happy. I was gonna turn 18, but a couple months before, she raped me. it made me never want to have sex again, or even date anyone again. now, I'm angry at myself for letting her rape me, not fighting back. I was taller, stronger. that was the strongest I'd been in all my life, I was lifting weights every day, doing jujitsu, ect. she was 5'3, I was 5'8. I cant stop thinking about her, she framed me for raping her too. I don't even know what to do anymore.

 

[v4r0]

This may not help much but it not being your fault is just a fact you will hopefully learn to accept. I'm sure thinking of all the things you could've done different comes easier but it's simply not on you that a terrible thing happened to you. Not taking anything from how you may feel though, just my best wishes and I hope you can find some love for yourself and heal with time. Also there's probably many people here that may have dealt with SA so I'm sure you can find a safe space here with many caring people. Best wishes mate

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

When I turned 18 a year ago, I felt weird. i'd been waiting for 18 so I could legally consent, and I'd been waiting since I was 12. I got with this girl when I was 17, and we were happy. I was gonna turn 18, but a couple months before, she raped me. it made me never want to have sex again, or even date anyone again. now, I'm angry at myself for letting her rape me, not fighting back. I was taller, stronger. that was the strongest I'd been in all my life, I was lifting weights every day, doing jujitsu, ect. she was 5'3, I was 5'8. I cant stop thinking about her, she framed me for raping her too. I don't even know what to do anymore.

its possible she got the wrong message since you were so much stronger

Ive had a girl push me down and rub against me before and actually made me scared
I was weaker than her though; and really delusional, trying to save a guys vcard

She let me go but was angry with me afterwards
Its my fault for teasing her