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Bxtra

Bxtra

Member
Jul 27, 2024
11
I'm really struggling with my recovery right now.

Everyone in my life says it'll get easier over time but I've been depressed and anxious for a decade and it really doesn't feel "easier".

At some points I just stare at the ceiling and unwillingly think about my death. These thoughts keep popping into my head and it drives me crazy. I want to get better - not thinking about getting worse and negating all my efforts so far.

If self critisism was an Olympic sport, I would be gunning for the gold medal. I ask people around me if the conversation I just had was okay or if I'm just embarrassing myself for even speaking. I feel like a fly buzzing around and pissing everyone off.

I don't even know what I'm typing anymore. Maybe I'm just screaming into the void haha.

Anyway, thanks for reading my ramblings :)
 
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