Bxtra
Member
- Jul 27, 2024
- 11
I'm really struggling with my recovery right now.
Everyone in my life says it'll get easier over time but I've been depressed and anxious for a decade and it really doesn't feel "easier".
At some points I just stare at the ceiling and unwillingly think about my death. These thoughts keep popping into my head and it drives me crazy. I want to get better - not thinking about getting worse and negating all my efforts so far.
If self critisism was an Olympic sport, I would be gunning for the gold medal. I ask people around me if the conversation I just had was okay or if I'm just embarrassing myself for even speaking. I feel like a fly buzzing around and pissing everyone off.
I don't even know what I'm typing anymore. Maybe I'm just screaming into the void haha.
Anyway, thanks for reading my ramblings :)
Everyone in my life says it'll get easier over time but I've been depressed and anxious for a decade and it really doesn't feel "easier".
At some points I just stare at the ceiling and unwillingly think about my death. These thoughts keep popping into my head and it drives me crazy. I want to get better - not thinking about getting worse and negating all my efforts so far.
If self critisism was an Olympic sport, I would be gunning for the gold medal. I ask people around me if the conversation I just had was okay or if I'm just embarrassing myself for even speaking. I feel like a fly buzzing around and pissing everyone off.
I don't even know what I'm typing anymore. Maybe I'm just screaming into the void haha.
Anyway, thanks for reading my ramblings :)
