Suicide is the only happy thought I have, nothing makes me so relaxed and free then thinking about my own suicide but it also makes me cry.

[3rdworldsadness]

I feel like suicidal thoughts are really happy thoughts but I feel totally isolated in my thoughts. I can't talk about my feelings with anyone. I have no friends who I can share, my family is distant even I live with them. Only company I have is myself and my thoughts. Suicidal thoughts are so freeing. It's like hug from death itself. It's says it's ok to not to have a good life. You can be free anytime. I only wanted a normal life, a stable mind....oh god please take me away.

 

[SMxj9]

i feel something similar, my best days in the last months were when i was doing SH on my arms and when i was sure that i would kill myself

 

[HopelessScientist]

Yes, suicide is my light, my only hope, the only way to escape my dark tunnel.

 

[monolog]

It was similar to me before I realized that experience will never be wiped out from universe and stay here forever
I try to find another way to relax my nervous system in the way to disconnect myself from humanity

 

[squiddedoutt]

i too feel peaceful and happy thinking about dying

even through all the pain

its nice knowing everything will be over,
there will be no more suffering for me,
nothing matters to me anymore,

i think the idea that suicide can feel positive and even happy is especially difficult for 'normal' people to grasp

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

suicide is my only hope to escape a hell a trillion times worse than one can imagine

but they tell me i have to be grateful for this extreme hell called life, and that I can't leave

 

[unluckysadness]

Same. Knowing there is an escape from this cruel world is the only thing that gives me a little bit relief.

 

[Matchaaa]

suicidal thoughts are kind of like copium for me, they're the only thing that helps me relieve stress.

 

[XXlife]

Yes, thinking about suicide is the only thing tha makes me calm too. Because that is just the only way out off this life.