melodrama
"Picky, selfish, arrogant, ignorant, childish."
- May 7, 2022
- 60
So much pain.
My head aches and my heart is heavy.
If I cry, my heart will feel lighter, but my head will hurt more.
I think about suicide every day. There isn't a day that I don't think about it.
What was I like before? Before I was like this? What was I thinking back then?
I talked to my father about suicide, and he got angry. He said that if I tried to commit suicide and failed, he would make sure I never did it again. Even if he had to "lock" me.
It seems cruel, but I think I understand. When I think about a dead loved one, I feel a terrible feeling. Still, I want to die, so I know I'll leave other people with that feeling.
It's funny. Usually people want to be loved, but I want to be hated. Or at least, I want nobody to care about me. That way I could die without causing pain to others.
When I kill myself, I have to make sure I don't fail.
I would like to die in my sleep tonight.
Please, let me die in my sleep tonight.
Amen.
My head aches and my heart is heavy.
If I cry, my heart will feel lighter, but my head will hurt more.
I think about suicide every day. There isn't a day that I don't think about it.
What was I like before? Before I was like this? What was I thinking back then?
I talked to my father about suicide, and he got angry. He said that if I tried to commit suicide and failed, he would make sure I never did it again. Even if he had to "lock" me.
It seems cruel, but I think I understand. When I think about a dead loved one, I feel a terrible feeling. Still, I want to die, so I know I'll leave other people with that feeling.
It's funny. Usually people want to be loved, but I want to be hated. Or at least, I want nobody to care about me. That way I could die without causing pain to others.
When I kill myself, I have to make sure I don't fail.
I would like to die in my sleep tonight.
Please, let me die in my sleep tonight.
Amen.
