dinkthemudhead
Member
- Feb 15, 2026
- 5
There's people I feel are responsible for driving me down this road that I'm choosing to take. I don't know if it is necessary at all to include them in my suicide note, I don't want to make it about them or anything; honeslty it doesn't really matter if I think about it because after all I will be gone. Honestly I think I'm thinking way too much about it just because apart of me subconsciously want to continue to live a little bit longer even though I know how awful it all is. I mostly want to live for my drug use, it's the only thing that makes me somewhat okay, doesn't make me happy but it makes it so I'm able to be okay. I haven't had any drugs in a little over a month and I think it's becoming all too much and even when I was on drugs the coming off was so emotionally awful. In about a month I'll have absolute acess to drugs again and I'm planning on ctb a bit after that. I want to stack up on as many substances as possible and do them all at once so I can get cross faded and then ctb by carban minoxide poisoning. I think the substances will make it so I won't get all crappy side effects of CM poisining b/c I'll be so messed up on the drugs but I really don't know. A question I have is that should I start drafting my suicide note now and if so how long should it be? And I'm wondering if my plan on ctb is good enough and if someone has a less plainless suggestion I'm willing to look into it.
