deadbirdinthelawn
RENARD // STAG PARTY!
- Feb 3, 2026
- 5
ok b4 anything sorry for grammar mistakes if there is any i have dyslexia
when i was 17 i found out about people taking Benadryl to get high, i didnt care much at all for getting high i had that phase when i was 14 but anyways i wanted to start taking it in large doses because of what people would say happened when you did. i heard that you would start hallucinating and hearing shit yknow typically what people joke about when their talking about "Benadryl hat man" which i hate that fucking joke,,, anyways i started stealing from dollar stores, i would take extra strength Benadryl. the first night i took 10, which was 500mg of it, after 20 minutes of nothing really happening i turned over onto my side and my whole body went numb. i started sweating really bad and my limbs felt so heavy. i couldn't talk and all my words where slurred together, when i did try and speak coherently it took all of my strength to whisper. after about i wanna say 40 minutes of just dizziness, the heavy limbs, not being able to walk, forgetting what i did not even a second ago, and overall panic i started to see hallucinations. the first thing i noticed was spiders crawling from out of the cds on my wall. there was like 5 spiders all over my wall and when i would turn my room light on they would disappear but as soon as i turn the lights off again i could see them (i have a dim lamp). after that i started seeing a cat in the corners of my room, i could see it walking around and jumping. The most scary hallucination though was when i saw my own brother open my door and hide behind my tv. it was so fucking trippy, i tried to talk to him but i couldnt get any words out plus he wasnt really there. other notes, i started talking to my dreams outloud as if they where real, i couldnt tell my dreams apart from reality, and the next morning i woke up i didnt know what was real and what wasnt. i couldnt tell if i was still hallucinating or not. that same day at night i took 6 of the pills, a lot of the same stuff happened but this time spiders where crawling under my blanket and i could feel bugs on my skin constantly. after that day i took 4 pills, nothing really happened that day, i felt pretty dizzy and saw some spiders again but i wasnt freaking out too hard. only thing that did suck is how i was so used to my heart beating insanely fast and hard when i took these pills that when it wasnt happening after taking the 4 i thought my body was shutting down so i began to punch my chest over and over to make my heart beat bc i thought it wasnt beating lolol. the rest of the week i took 4 per usual and not too much happened. at the start of the new week i took 6 pills and for some reason everything felt different, i was panicking way more, i once again thought my body was shutting down and i was so nauseous, i almost went to go tell someone in my house what was going on because i thought i was dying, but i never did of course. i dont know why that time was so different, i truly thought in my head that i was dying lol. the rest of that week i continued to take 4 each night which just kept with the bugs on my skin, seeing spiders, and i even began to see people in the shadows of my room. it was all so scary.
aftermath
im pretty sure it all sent me into some derealization or some shit because ever since then i keep forgetting simple words and i cant ever remember shit that happened like 30 minutes ago. i also have frequent panic attacks that i never had before, i thought i was on a movie set and my life wasnt real, i thought the things on my phone where aimed posts to make me freak out even more, i saw a drawing of eyes on my timeline and truly thought my phone was watching me. i was screaming and crying for about an hour until i fell asleep. i keep catching myself second guessing if things are even real, about every other day i stop and just look at things around me and throw myself into a panic, i end up believing that im having hallucinations again and the past hour or so didnt even really happen. the days also go by so fast and i can never keep track of dates anymore, January came and i was still in November lol. mmmm i know theres more that happened but i cant remember for the life of me, i only even remember what happened to begin with because i have it written in a notebook.
final words dont take pills u can just buy at like cvs its pointless and just makes you stupid and slow i hate my life even more now. plus i cant ever take pills again because it sends me into a freak panic attack and i start to remember the feeling of everything that happened. bai
when i was 17 i found out about people taking Benadryl to get high, i didnt care much at all for getting high i had that phase when i was 14 but anyways i wanted to start taking it in large doses because of what people would say happened when you did. i heard that you would start hallucinating and hearing shit yknow typically what people joke about when their talking about "Benadryl hat man" which i hate that fucking joke,,, anyways i started stealing from dollar stores, i would take extra strength Benadryl. the first night i took 10, which was 500mg of it, after 20 minutes of nothing really happening i turned over onto my side and my whole body went numb. i started sweating really bad and my limbs felt so heavy. i couldn't talk and all my words where slurred together, when i did try and speak coherently it took all of my strength to whisper. after about i wanna say 40 minutes of just dizziness, the heavy limbs, not being able to walk, forgetting what i did not even a second ago, and overall panic i started to see hallucinations. the first thing i noticed was spiders crawling from out of the cds on my wall. there was like 5 spiders all over my wall and when i would turn my room light on they would disappear but as soon as i turn the lights off again i could see them (i have a dim lamp). after that i started seeing a cat in the corners of my room, i could see it walking around and jumping. The most scary hallucination though was when i saw my own brother open my door and hide behind my tv. it was so fucking trippy, i tried to talk to him but i couldnt get any words out plus he wasnt really there. other notes, i started talking to my dreams outloud as if they where real, i couldnt tell my dreams apart from reality, and the next morning i woke up i didnt know what was real and what wasnt. i couldnt tell if i was still hallucinating or not. that same day at night i took 6 of the pills, a lot of the same stuff happened but this time spiders where crawling under my blanket and i could feel bugs on my skin constantly. after that day i took 4 pills, nothing really happened that day, i felt pretty dizzy and saw some spiders again but i wasnt freaking out too hard. only thing that did suck is how i was so used to my heart beating insanely fast and hard when i took these pills that when it wasnt happening after taking the 4 i thought my body was shutting down so i began to punch my chest over and over to make my heart beat bc i thought it wasnt beating lolol. the rest of the week i took 4 per usual and not too much happened. at the start of the new week i took 6 pills and for some reason everything felt different, i was panicking way more, i once again thought my body was shutting down and i was so nauseous, i almost went to go tell someone in my house what was going on because i thought i was dying, but i never did of course. i dont know why that time was so different, i truly thought in my head that i was dying lol. the rest of that week i continued to take 4 each night which just kept with the bugs on my skin, seeing spiders, and i even began to see people in the shadows of my room. it was all so scary.
aftermath
im pretty sure it all sent me into some derealization or some shit because ever since then i keep forgetting simple words and i cant ever remember shit that happened like 30 minutes ago. i also have frequent panic attacks that i never had before, i thought i was on a movie set and my life wasnt real, i thought the things on my phone where aimed posts to make me freak out even more, i saw a drawing of eyes on my timeline and truly thought my phone was watching me. i was screaming and crying for about an hour until i fell asleep. i keep catching myself second guessing if things are even real, about every other day i stop and just look at things around me and throw myself into a panic, i end up believing that im having hallucinations again and the past hour or so didnt even really happen. the days also go by so fast and i can never keep track of dates anymore, January came and i was still in November lol. mmmm i know theres more that happened but i cant remember for the life of me, i only even remember what happened to begin with because i have it written in a notebook.
final words dont take pills u can just buy at like cvs its pointless and just makes you stupid and slow i hate my life even more now. plus i cant ever take pills again because it sends me into a freak panic attack and i start to remember the feeling of everything that happened. bai
