Losing control again i think

[Unrequitedlife]

So.... after 3 or 4 years of ideation feeling so very strong and experiencing burnout from managing that on top of work and family responsibilities, i felt as though i was finally getting on top of those urges i had felt for so long. About two months ago, my wife and i separated and since then i can feel my ideation escalating once again. i am not sure how long i will have the strength, to manage this again. A part of me wants to quit now and give in. I still have my SN and that is already becoming a huge temptation. I guess i am feeling pretty disheartened with everything right now, especially with myself. Perhaps this is just me indulging in a pity party, idk.