Venting lonely around people.

[elpurp]

this is only a moment in time and it will pass. but it fucking hurts.

i never realized how much time i spend to myself and it's been like this since middle school. i'm oversheltered, still at my parents' with no license so i'm stuck in my room most of the time, and it's great until it's not.

i just want a partner. i have loads of friends but i want a partner. that seems to be the one thing i can't get, and not from a lack of trying. i'll happily ask out any and everybody i think is pretty and it's always no. fucking always.

i'm over people telling me to love myself. i can do that and still wanna be loved. you just gotta wait and be patient from the same people who can get whoever they want/are already dating somebody, it's infuriating. i'm infuriated at myself.

for believing love is even for me. if i could just tear out that part of my brain, i would've years ago. it's not fucking for me, and i'm so done but i'm so fucking stupid for still trying like anybody wants me. they don't. nobody ever will.

this will prolly get buried. nobody is gonna read this. just venting and yelling out into the ether. i love myself too much to ctb but sometimes i wish i was never born at all.

 

[calebzz1]

I'm sorry that you feel that way.

I also feel stuck, currently an involuntary NEET with no sign of my visual impairment actually improving so I can get back to work, continue to learn how to drive and go back to my old hobbies.

I'm stuck in this limbo of being a young man who is unable to work but not considered disabled in the system despite taking as much initiative as I can.

My advice is to be content in being alone, a lot of people on this site struggle with that.

I've figured out that living with visual impairment is quite isolating, you can't really relate to others as much and a lot of my old hobbies simply are impossible to do.

I have an amazing friend group but because I can't see clearly enough, I'm locked out of playing video games, watching television and movies with them.

I can't give any relationship advice as I haven't been in a real relationship since elementary school and personally I have no desire in getting in one right now due to being a pragmatic, practical person.

I know that rejection would hurt though, try not to take it personally and use that fuel towards something else.