Just returned from a first session with a new therapist... Was I too harsh? Should I continue with her? Or not?

[CowardKnight]

First, we all know it's very important to have a therapist that shares the same beliefs and political views as you, and after having some bad experiences with previous therapists, I decided that when I go to a new one, I'll just straight up ask her what their views are in the first session, to save time (and money...).

Today I went to a new therapist, and told her about this. She was like "umm, okay, but I don't wanna make this about me, y'know this is about you. And it worries me that if I told you that, it'll affect what you say to me in therapy". I understand her point, but this is still very important to me.

I started asking her some basic stuff, like, are you religious (she's catholic... nothing against religion, but that made me a bit uncomfortable). Although she said even though she's catholic, she doesn't agree completely with everything about it, and also especially mentioned that she's not going to bring that into therapy.

I asked what's her opinion on minorities like trans people, and y'know, that stuff. She already listed on her profile that she also treats LGBT people, but I still wanted to ask her in person. She said that she completely supports them and overall said she was an ally.

I then asked how do you believe this, if the bible says it's wrong? From this point I noticed she was getting a bit uncomfortable with these questions. She just said to me the same thing as before, that even though she's catholic, she doesn't completely agree with the religion and the bible, and thinks things like sexuality aren't something to be judged or something... I don't really remember this part, but you get the point.

Then, I asked her what the thinks of AI. She said that's it's just a tool, although she thinks that it's doing more harm than good, especially for new generations who are starting to rely on it for everything, and how people are replacing therapy with chatGPT.

I then asked her about images made with AI, I really wanted to know about this because, on her Instagram page, she has a video made with AI. She said that honestly it's getting scary with how real and accurate they're getting, and says that people are going to steal your identity with that, and that stuff. But she still thinks it's useful for marketing.

Then I asked about how it's affecting artists. She just faked some empathy, put on a "sad face" looked away, and said in a "sad" tone: "oh... ummm, yeah... It's very sad..."

Here I explained to her how harmful it's for artists and art in general. I noticed that she was VERY uncomfortable up to this point. The entire time she just continued faking more empathy.

But then I told her that I don't blame her, because I also used to have the opinion as her before I knew any better.

She was like "okay, I respect your opinion." ? She then told me that I'm trying to see perfection in people? And things like that?

Anyways, a part of me feels like I shouldn't have brought that topic into session, but another part of me feels like I did the right thing because it kinda allowed me to see her true face, especially seeing how she reacted to certain things and the fake empathy I could feel from like, miles away.

She asked me if I was going to book a next session, but I told her that I'd text her about it later (basically, perhaps, perhaps not).

See, honestly I don't know if I should return. I made things very awkward and omfg, I dunno, fuck... and the worst part is that most likely she was one of my only options, cuz it's very hard to find therapists with the same views as me in the area I'm in. Did I screw up?

 

[K14~♡]

I've never been in therapy so my opinion might not be that helpful, but the conversation did sound pressuring/interrogative for her based on what you said? (Also a bit lecturing with the AI art part). I don't think it's that big of a screw up, you could prob still salvage it by sending a simple apology when you text again, and hopefully she'll forget it/wouldn't mind it much ToT But since she seems to fake empathy as you said, maybe it's not that good to settle for her anyway?

 

[CowardKnight]

I've never been in therapy so my opinion might not be that helpful, but the conversation did sound pressuring/interrogative for her based on what you said? (Also a bit lecturing with the AI art part). I don't think it's that big of a screw up, you could prob still salvage it by sending a simple apology when you text again, and hopefully she'll forget it/wouldn't mind it much ToT But since she seems to fake empathy as you said, maybe it's not that good to settle for her anyway?

Yeah I should apologize to her... Also about the empathy part, I dunno... I think this is just me being paranoid. Cuz to me all therapists kinda fake empathy to me. Besides, what else could she have said or done when I was basically lecturing her? oh god.

Yeah I'll apologize to her and return or... look for another therapist.

 

[K14~♡]

Yeah I should apologize to her... Also about the empathy part, I dunno... I think this is just me being paranoid. Cuz to me all therapists kinda fake empathy to me. Besides, what else could she have said or done when I was basically lecturing her? oh god.

Yeah I'll apologize to her and return or... look for another therapist.

I really hope she'll be chill with it and won't affect your future sessions TvT I also hope it won't hinder you from talking about what you need to talk about and won't make you feel bad much. It's possible ya'll could just start anew the next time you meet and everything would go ok...Well I'm just positively thinking here ToT
Whatever happens, best of luck to you <3

 

[nitritegirl]

yes, you were unnecessarily harsh. i will try to not be harsh in my reply, but you conducted your session very poorly.

if you think there is an actual important question to know about the therapist (e.g. you are trans and want to know if the psychologist supports trans people) that's fine, but you threw a bunch of questions about many different topics, many of which are probably not at all important to your therapy sessions. you'll never find someone that agrees 100% with every single view you have, but actual professional psychologists are trained to respect whatever your opinion you have even if they personally disagree. you essentially turned the therapy session into a political or religious debate, like: what does it matter if she's religious but supports lgbt? psychologists study and go through uni as to not let their religious views interfere with the therapy sessions. and as i said before, if they are actually professional, they won't care and will support you. in fact my psychologist is religious and supports me as a trans person. what does it matter what your therapist thinks about "images with ai"? unless that is somehow related to your sessions or reason you're going to therapy (such as you being an artist), i don't see how that would improve your sessions other than turning it into a debate.

if it was me i would find another therapist, but if you go back to the same one, again if they are professional and if they didn't feel affected by it (as some would not like to continue in cases like this), then they will continue your sessions just fine. psychologists have gone through a lot of stuff and you can be sure people have done worse. but as you said, you should apologize and not do this again. just focus on you and what you need. talk about your life, your problems, what you want, etc, instead of trying to profile your therapist.

i've edited this comments many times, i've made it less harsh, hope it's fine now

 

[CowardKnight]

yes, you were unnecessarily harsh. i will try to not be harsh in my reply, but you conducted your session very poorly.

if you think there is an actual important question to know about the therapist (e.g. you are trans and want to know if the psychologist supports trans people) that's fine, but you threw a bunch of questions about many different topics, many of which are probably not at all important to your therapy sessions. you'll never find someone that agrees 100% with every single view you have, but actual professional psychologists are trained to respect whatever your opinion you have even if they personally disagree. you essentially turned the therapy session into a political or religious debate, like: what does it matter if she's religious but supports lgbt? psychologists study and go through uni as to not let their religious views interfere with the therapy sessions. and as i said before, if they are actually professional, they won't care and will support you. in fact my psychologist is religious and supports me as a trans person. what does it matter what your therapist thinks about "images with ai"? unless that is somehow related to your sessions or reason you're going to therapy (such as you being an artist), i don't see how that would improve your sessions other than turning it into a debate.

if it was me i would find another therapist, but if you go back to the same one, again if they are professional and if they didn't feel affected by it (as some would not like to continue in cases like this), then they will continue your sessions just fine. psychologists have gone through a lot of stuff and you can be sure people have done worse. but as you said, you should apologize and not do this again. just focus on you and what you need. talk about your life, your problems, what you want, etc, instead of trying to profile your therapist.

i've edited this comments many times, i've made it less harsh, hope it's fine now

Yeah you're right :') I guess I mostly threw in there the AI topic because it's kinda important to me (not the main reason I'm going to therapy tho) and most likely at some point I'd bring the topic in therapy. But now that I think about it, I don't think it's a good idea to discuss topics like that with a therapist anyway, since besides from generic encouragement they could give me (like, "don't worry, human art will survive" or "artists will always be needed"), I don't think there's nothing else that we could discuss about that without, as you said, turning it into a debate.

Also, I'm not doing art for a living, and I've got a lot more important topics to talk about in therapy so... yep.

Also I missed something in the post, and is that I said to her something REALLY rude. As I mentioned in the post, she has in her Instagram page an AI video, and I forgot to say that, that Instagram page (which is linked to her medical profile) is kinda for her therapist service AND a side business she has where she sells crafts and things like that. At some point I mentioned the AI video in her IG and asked her about it. As I mentioned in the post, she said it's cuz she thinks it's useful for marketing, besides, she said that she didn't have the money to pay an artist and just wanted to save a few bucks.

And, after this, at some point, while I was lecturing her, i said this: "y'know, when I go to a supermarket, and I see a product that has AI images, it makes me think: woah, if they couldn't afford an artist, imagine how bad the product quality will be!" AND OMFG WHY DID I SAY THAT, I BASICALLY INSULTED HER BUSINESS

Anyways, I don't think I can return there, that's for sure. I haven't apologized to her, but I can't cuz I'm so fucking embarrassed. Besides, what could I say? "Hey, I'm sorry for what happened in the session. I'm really sorry for making you uncomfortable and things tense. It wasn't my intention... sorry".

And the worst part is that, as I mentioned, I'm kinda limited on what therapists I can go to, and the only other option that I have right now it's a bit close to this therapist office (as in, they're in the same neighborhood), and it worries me cuz they could know each other or something.

Also, I couldn't read your comment before the edits, but don't worry about being harsh. I kinda deserve it anyway.