elpurp
Member
- Dec 29, 2024
- 20
i'm pretty depressed tonight, as per usual. i made the not wise decision to pay for a dating app for me to get more matches. i have not. after running out of people, i've been noticing a light started to flicker in my brain: i don't care anymore.
you know, i could be the sweetest bunch of grapes off the vineyard, but if people want apples and oranges, the shit don't matter. somebody really loves grapes, but i have no clue who, when and where that person will be. a lot of my friends have cars already and/or travel to different countries, and i'm really happy and proud of them. but i'm 22. i have quite literally the rest of my life to get a vehicle and travel too.
i always run to weed, porn, self-harm or dating apps whenever i feel like this but i'm highkey over all of that. i've been learning to just sit in it/listen to my uplifting music because it's actually okay to be sad and ctb isn't for me. deep down, i know i wanna stay and i love myself but life is just incredibly hard sometimes so doing that seems like the right option.
but it does get better. it has before. and it will again.
you know, i could be the sweetest bunch of grapes off the vineyard, but if people want apples and oranges, the shit don't matter. somebody really loves grapes, but i have no clue who, when and where that person will be. a lot of my friends have cars already and/or travel to different countries, and i'm really happy and proud of them. but i'm 22. i have quite literally the rest of my life to get a vehicle and travel too.
i always run to weed, porn, self-harm or dating apps whenever i feel like this but i'm highkey over all of that. i've been learning to just sit in it/listen to my uplifting music because it's actually okay to be sad and ctb isn't for me. deep down, i know i wanna stay and i love myself but life is just incredibly hard sometimes so doing that seems like the right option.
but it does get better. it has before. and it will again.
