It's hard to have interests

[trying ungracefully]

I stay at home all day because I am working on my agoraphobia. It is hard because it is so boring watching shows all day or being on my phone and I only have one hobby, crochet. I can't crochet all the time either because I am going off birthday and Christmas money throughout the year so I can't buy a lot of yarn.

It just sucks because it causes me to focus on myself and how I am doing a lot. I am not in a good place so I hate thinking about my life and I am becoming more suicidal. I get so bored and anxious and depressed throughout the day and it seems like I am never going to be better until I find hobbies and leave the house.

I also get lonely with no friends and my boyfriend/family not always being able to be there for me, I talked about it before. Loneliness is the worst feeling to me though because it is a terrible emptiness and longing for someone to be with me. I just want to be with my boyfriend and having a good time and honestly family can't replace friends so it's hard in that way too.

I don't know what I can do to find interests because it seems like everything costs money. I get bored with games quickly and the good games that you actually want to play cost money, sometimes they suck and you waste money too. I try reading but I don't have many good books either, they are mostly YA because I bought them when I was a kid.

I guess I'll try and play sims right now. I just get so bored with it and give up within in hour now. I have so many hours on it and idk what to do anymore except make sims and decorate houses.

Give me free ideas if you have them, I am open to anything except stuff that is outside obviously lol, I like walks in the forest but I can't even do that right now.

 

[orpheus_]

Drawing and writing fiction/making fictional universes ofany kind work for many people and cost pretty much nothing. You don't need fancy art supplies to do art, tbh any piece of paper and any pen/pencil laying around is enough and there are a bunch of more or less advanced tutorials on the internet. Personally it's what helped me a lot when I was feeling very lonely as a young teen. I know these are quite obvious though and very creativity-driven so might be hard to do when you feel bad for some people. From simpler things, maybe origami? If you're into crocheting, maybe you can also try knitting if you haven't already (it uses way less yarn).