Is it ethical to ask for my cat to be euthanized in my suicide note?

[OrganicCow]

I'm planning on CTB soon and have figured out how to best support my mom while she figures out something long term.

In my note I am leaving a handwritten signed and dated note going over who can have my money and property so that it can hopefully be used as a "holograph will".

Now the part where I'm torn. When I am gone should I request that my 18y/o cat be euthanized upon my death? I know it sounds sick but she is 18 and has dementia HCM and CKD. She has been my cat since I was 3 years old and has come with me when I moved out of my abusive step mothers house and lived with me while I rented a room in someones house.

Now we live in a new city in an apartment with my mom. She is extremely attatched to me and I worry that she will struggle greatly upon my death. I don't want this innocent baby to struggle without me and I want to prevent her suffering.

Should I request that my cat be put down in my final letter?

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Since your cat is so old and already struggling from health complications I don't think it's necessarily that bad. Losing you would likely make your cat suffer even more. I knew someone that wanted to buy a gun to shoot their cat and then themselves, and their cat wasn't old or suffering. I get that it wasn't out of malice but it did make me side eye them a little.

 

[mutsu]

I agree with bl33ding_heart, I think considering that the cat is already old and suffering from those conditions, I would agree that asking for euthanasia would probably be okay.

Especially since its in your suicide note, the cat won't be in danger in the event that SI kicks in or the attempt fails, as long as you dont euthanize the cat prior to you passing (unless of course it needs it) then I don't see an issue

 

[fadedghost]

Like it will sort of be trivial for her in comparison. Like it will be earth shatteringly devestating and life destroying if you ctb. That's just how it is. The cat, dead or alive, mentioned in a note or not, will be trivial.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Honestly, if you are really going to ctb then you should euthanize your cat before you do so. That would be the right thing to do if she is so attached to you and think she will suffer in your absence.

 

[ThisUnrest]

Im sorry that you and your dear friend are in this situation. Knowing she has medical struggles already, you could evaluate her quality of life (using a list online), and if appropriate, ask the vet to help her on her way, if she's not feeling well.
Just keep in mind it's very likely that you won't be able to go forward with your own plans, so you may feel incredibly lonely and guilty afterwards, if you are still left behind without her. Making plans to leave is often much easier said than done. None of this is easy. It's all very complicated and heartbreaking. I feel for you and wish you comfort.

 

[Bishop]

Honestly, if you are really going to ctb then you should euthanize your cat before you do so. That would be the right thing to do if she is so attached to you and think she will suffer in your absence.

Agree

 

[Zaphkiel]

Honestly, if you are really going to ctb then you should euthanize your cat before you do so. That would be the right thing to do if she is so attached to you and think she will suffer in your absence.

Was about to say this, you're kinda relegating the issue there, and your cat will need you in her final moment

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I think it's possible that your mother might find your cat to be a great comfort after you CTB. Maybe they would enjoy each other's company for a few more years despite your cat's health issues. Maybe not. Either way, after you CTB, it may not be easy for your mother to have it euthanized.

 

[OrganicCow]

Since your cat is so old and already struggling from health complications I don't think it's necessarily that bad. Losing you would likely make your cat suffer even more. I knew someone that wanted to buy a gun to shoot their cat and then themselves, and their cat wasn't old or suffering. I get that it wasn't out of malice but it did make me side eye them a little.

I don't think I would ever kill my cat like that. Actually I know for a fact that I would never kill my cat like that. But youre right that she is already old and she would likely struggle without me. She already waits and meows at the front door when I am at school and my mom struggles to redirect her. What would she do if I was never coming home? Literally when I'm at school she will wait at the front door and scream. When I come home I usually open the door into her because she ends up falling asleep on the door mat. What if I was never coming home?

I agree with bl33ding_heart, I think considering that the cat is already old and suffering from those conditions, I would agree that asking for euthanasia would probably be okay.

Especially since its in your suicide note, the cat won't be in danger in the event that SI kicks in or the attempt fails, as long as you dont euthanize the cat prior to you passing (unless of course it needs it) then I don't see an issue

I would not be euthanizing my cat prior to my death. Her quality of life is good right now but if you read my reply to bl33ding heart I explained how she will wait at the front door for me meowing while im at school. Think about how distressing it would be for her if I was never coming home

Honestly, if you are really going to ctb then you should euthanize your cat before you do so. That would be the right thing to do if she is so attached to you and think she will suffer in your absence.

I would not euthanize her prior to my death. If I fail of SI kicks in she will be gone and I won't be.

Im sorry that you and your dear friend are in this situation. Knowing she has medical struggles already, you could evaluate her quality of life (using a list online), and if appropriate, ask the vet to help her on her way, if she's not feeling well.
Just keep in mind it's very likely that you won't be able to go forward with your own plans, so you may feel incredibly lonely and guilty afterwards, if you are still left behind without her. Making plans to leave is often much easier said than done. None of this is easy. It's all very complicated and heartbreaking. I feel for you and wish you comfort.

He QOL is very good right now her biggest struggle is her dementia. She forget where she is when she wakes up and forgets when she has already eaten but the worst part is how she waits for me at the front door meowing while I'm at school until she eventually falls asleep at the front door on the door mat. My mom is not able to comfort her while im at school so I cant imagine what she would do if i wasnt coming home at all

Was about to say this, you're kinda relegating the issue there, and your cat will need you in her final moment

I agree that she would need me in her final moments and I want to be there for her the same way she has been there for me the last 18 years. It's not realistic to euthanize her prior to my death unfourtanatly as it will draw suspision and the vet will likely not euthanize her because her QOL is good

I think it's possible that your mother might find your cat to be a great comfort after you CTB. Maybe they would enjoy each other's company for a few more years despite your cat's health issues. Maybe not. Either way, after you CTB, it may not be easy for your mother to have it euthanized.

That is true and I never thought about that. I just fear that my mom will run out of my estate money and may have to move houses and she already has a cat so I wouldn't want to burden her with another one.
Guys I would love to be there for her in her last moments just like she has been there for me the past 18 years.

I however do not want to euthanize her prior to my death because a) her QOL is good, still eating, drinking, using the litter box, no chronic pain, and not on any medications. b) what if I fail or SI kicks in and I'm unable to go through with CTB? I would then have to live my life suffering even more without my best friend.

 

[FailedNav]

Maybe I'm missing something here. Do you have a plan for having you cat euthanized when you CTB? At least in my region, most vets would refuse to euthanize a healthy pet. Are you planning on having a friend do it or something?

 

[OrganicCow]

Maybe I'm missing something here. Do you have a plan for having you cat euthanized when you CTB? At least in my region, most vets would refuse to euthanize a healthy pet. Are you planning on having a friend do it or something?

No i do not have a friend or anyone, I would expect the vet to do it. Her QOL right now is good, but it may get worse when I'm gone. Will the vet not euthanize a pet based on something like finacial need? If my mom is unable to handle my cat and her conditions finacially will they not euthanize her? I would hate for her to be brought to the shelter or something, she doesn't belong there

 

[FailedNav]

No i do not have a friend or anyone, I would expect the vet to do it. Her QOL right now is good, but it may get worse when I'm gone. Will the vet not euthanize a pet based on something like finacial need? If my mom is unable to handle my cat and her conditions finacially will they not euthanize her? I would hate for her to be brought to the shelter or something, she doesn't belong there

FIrst, its not illegal. but the various Vet Associations like the AVMA have a code of ethics that don't really allow for it. But again Vets are legally bound by that. But I DO think that finding a Vet willing to do it will the difficult.

 

[OrganicCow]

FIrst, its not illegal. but the various Vet Associations like the AVMA have a code of ethics that don't really allow for it. But again Vets are legally bound by that. But I DO think that finding a Vet willing to do it will the difficult.

So not only will I not be there for her last moments but she may have to suffer far past my death until she starts to deteriorate. That sounds horrible

 

[Captive_Mind515]

So not only will I not be there for her last moments but she may have to suffer far past my death until she starts to deteriorate. That sounds horrible

This is where you need to have a good relationship with your vet, and have the conversation with them about not letting your cat suffer and that you don't have the finances to spend on expensive procedures. You can also explain that you are not in favour of putting an old cat through lots of invasive medical stuff at the end of their life on ethical grounds because you don't think it's the correct thing for them. I had this conversation ahead of time with my previous dog, and my vet was very open to that discussion. They don't want to see animals suffering or neglected either, so they will usually work with owners and have a plan for what they want. It's quite a normal thing to discuss with your vet.