Introduce yourself

[No surprises]

Hello everyone, I'm an 18-year-old girl from China. I want to commit suicide because of a severe decline in my memory and language abilities for unknown reasons. If you have the similar problem, please feel free to reach out to me. We might not be able to communicate as smoothly as normal people, but we are in the same situation and share a common understanding, which I think is great.
Other than that, I like listening to Radiohead, Grimes, and Iyowa. I used to love watching movies, writing, and reading, but I haven't written or read in a long time now because I feel unworthy. The only thing that makes me happy is watching movies. My favorite movie is Fight Club, and my favorite book is "Stories of Your Life and Others."

 

[aego]

hello everyone! I am Ego. I mostly lurk/reply to threads so you probably won't see me in the wild.
I'm 19 this year, so im probably one of the youngest members. despite my typing habits, i swear i'm not a troll and actually do take this site seriously.

im here bc ive genuinely been depressed since I was 10 (hereditary and environmental). I decided to force myself to wait until I was 18 to see if everything would actually get better, and it never did. i am not an ambitious person, nor am i particularly talented at anything besides being nice. i've trying my whole life to fit in and work hard, just to be mediocre and having to watch everyone else drift past me. being anxious/emotionally numbed and unable to focus basically just ruined my social/academic life @_@

I made an account because america is actually trash at supporting neurodivergencies/mental illnesses... there is basically no open resources available to committing safely (if it weren't for SaSu i probably would've foolishly tried overdosing on pain meds and permanently screwing myself), so seeing the huge threads on how to safely ctb AND have a normal place to talk abt it was so nice. everyone here is so sweet, so i hope i meet some new friends.

 

[blush]

hi everyone,

i'm an 18yo trans girl located in north america. i'm on this forum bc dysphoria and mental health issues r debilitating and very few people understand me (feels like i am an alien). so i wanna talk to ppl who might understand mental health from their own experiences. cool to meet you!

 

[luchayamor]

Hi! I've been following the site for a while, but only now have I decided to create an account. I'm going through a serious crisis and I need to vent. I feel so stupid.
I'm nothing.
I don't know anything, I don't make a difference in the world.
Nobody likes me because I'm boring, detestable, without qualities. UGLY.
I'm anxious, I talk too much, my hair is falling out.
I need to do better in college, take courses and go to lectures.
I need to keep my report card with high grades, I need to read and take notes on everything. I need to dress well, take care of myself, have my bangs done.
But I don't know how to do any of that, I just fail.
I'm tired. I just cry. Incompetent.
I try and fail and I get rejected.
I haven't been able to make friends or have a committed partner by my side. I've been rejected by many boys, I've gone through anorexia, and now I've been dealing with depression for years.
Even my cat doesn't want me anymore; he stopped coming into my room because I'm so detestable.
I'd rather just die.
I don't go to the gym, I have no personality, no hobbies, I am NOTHING. I still watch the news about the world and I'm completely desolate.

 

[aego]

hi everyone,

i'm an 18yo trans girl located in north america. i'm on this forum bc dysphoria and mental health issues r debilitating and very few people understand me (feels like i am an alien). so i wanna talk to ppl who might understand mental health from their own experiences. cool to meet you!

hiii! i'm also from NA and yeah— once i got out of highschool i realized there's actually like 0 other trans people around me

 

[ACorpseHeldUp]

Hi. I'm ACorpseHeldUp, I'm a man in my mid 30's in the Netherlands. My health has been getting worse the past years, but on top of that I'm now suffering from an illness (mold illness/sensitivity) that isn't acknowledged in my country, resulting in mental health institutions labeling me as delusional and trying to help me in ways that make me worse. It's getting worse and the path to getting better is very uncertain so I hope I can find a way to end it all soon in case I can't get better. Unfortunately I don't have high hopes...

 

[K14~♡]

Hi! I'm a 1st yr accountancy student from the Philippines and I rlly wanna escape this course and my uni...(Family pressured me to pick this) I wonder if there's any Pipinos here?
I'm in this site cuz I was searching on methods, and wanted a place where I can freely talk about suicide. I felt happy when I discovered this site btw! It felt like I finally found where I belonged haha

Not sure what else to mention about myself, but I wanna say that I love Where Winds Meet (a chinese mmorpg) and Sleep Token

 

[sadpeaceful_snorlax]

Hello! Not really sure what to share
I like Pokemon, I like making people laugh, and toasted sandwiches are sooo good (the broiler is such an amazing invention!) I've dealt with depression and suicidal for a good while, I was learning good tools to deal with them and felt better than I had felt in a long time, but I'm back to a really low point, which felt oddly comforting to a certain degree, and don't feel like getting better again
:) thank you for reading

 

[i_am_done]

Hi! I'm 29, almost 30 which is hard to believe. From the US. I've been depressed since around age 14 and wasted my early 20s drinking alone. I haven't been able to bounce back. I haven't finished my college degree and I live with my parents. If you're reading this and I haven't killed myself yet it's because I still have a faint glimmer of hope that things will get better. The future is just getting harder and harder to believe in. So I found myself here, and am finding solace in the fact that there are like-minded folks.

 

[Kamaainakupua]

Just received my welcome email, as well as the Important! conversation from the SaSu account. This thread seemed the logical first place to post. I always think of American Sign Language when I see "ASL", so I'll forego the bio/geo and put my hands in the air instead: (a shout out to any deaf/hard-of-hearing folks here at the bus stop).
I've had thoughts/ideation since before I officially turned into a teenager, due to abuse trauma followed by unrelated family breakup, but I didn't actually try to catch the bus until I was 22. Missed it then, and sometimes it seems like the bus driver doesn't want to stop for me, because I've missed it more than half a dozen times since then. My most recent date was 2024.Aug.01, and I wound up in the hospital, again, where I was medicated to the point I went into a blackout, with no memory of most of what happened for most of the next 10 days. I was actually discharged from the first hospital 7 days in, but wound up at a different hospital 3-4 hours later. I had to read my medical records to find out what happened to me, as the last thing I remember clearly was being checked into the psych ward of the first facility. I 'came to' in the emergency room of the second place, strapped down and still doozy from the drugs administered at the first place.
I found my way here after rediscovering a report on an acute vertical deceleration impalement injury at the website for the United States National Library of Medicine within the National Institute of Health (be advised that the report is very graphic, with both images and verbal descriptions of someone who caught the bus). Someone else may have mentioned or described the report, because SaSu was listed in the search results when I tried to find the site where I'd first seen a description of the incident.
My word count just passed 333, so hopefully I've met the requirements to not be considered a "low effort" or "spam" post. As my therapist likes to point out, I spent more time not talking about myself than talking about myself, so that probably means I introduced myself properly. I spent most of the last eight hours before I fell asleep at 5AM local time reading here, and it really felt like I was finally coming home, to a home I'd never known but always dreamed of...
No matter why you are here, or why you are reading what I wrote, please know that you are not alone, and that though I may have never met you, I love you and wish you peace and happiness, however you choose to find it.
Thank you for letting me be here,
KK

 

[whywere]

Welcome!

Great to have you here, my new good friend.

This site is so kind, caring with so much empathy, just wonderful!

Walter

 

[Kai64]

Hello everyone, i prefer to be called 'Kai', i am an 19 year old boy from Brazil, i have autism.

My departing day is in 2 months (it will be on Late May, just a few days before the end of the month), i already made my mind, people tried changing my mind but i just can't kick this off me. I may explain my reasons in the suicide topic later. I wanna use this website as some kind of personal public diary for me.

Btw, i took a long time to find this website again haha, the searches from google, duckduckgo and even startpage refused to show it to me. I had to ask FreedomAI for the link hehe

Anyway, i see people here seem really chill, so i believe my stay here will be nice until the day i will commit suicide haha

 

[Luvwww.com]

Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!

I don't matter, am worthless, will never be visible to others. I'm the 3rd person in my own story, I am separate.

Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!

Confusion in her eyes that says it all
She's lost control
And she's clinging to the nearest passerby
She's lost control
And she gave away the secrets of her past
And said, "I've lost control again"
And to the voice that told her when and where to act
She said, "I've lost control again"
And she turned around and took me by the hand
And said, "I've lost control again"
And how I'll never know just why or understand
She said, "I've lost control again"
And she screamed out, kicking on her side, and said
"I've lost control again"
And seized up on the floor, I thought she'd die
She said, "I've lost control"
She's lost control again
She's lost control
She's lost control again
She's lost control
That I had to phone her friend to state my case
And say she's lost control again
And she showed up all the errors and mistakes
And said, "I've lost control again"
And she expressed herself in many different ways
Until she lost control again
And walked upon the edge of no escape
And laughed, "I've lost control"
She's lost control again
She's lost control
She's lost control again
She's lost control

Hello everyone, I'm an 18-year-old girl from China. I want to commit suicide because of a severe decline in my memory and language abilities for unknown reasons. If you have the similar problem, please feel free to reach out to me. We might not be able to communicate as smoothly as normal people, but we are in the same situation and share a common understanding, which I think is great.
Other than that, I like listening to Radiohead, Grimes, and Iyowa. I used to love watching movies, writing, and reading, but I haven't written or read in a long time now because I feel unworthy. The only thing that makes me happy is watching movies. My favorite movie is Fight Club, and my favorite book is "Stories of Your Life and Others."

I'm lost at sea
Don't bother me
I've lost my way
I've lost my way

Living in a Fantasy world....



I also wanna kill myself due to similar reasons. I used to be smart at one point, I don't know if my depression made me dumb or my dumbness made me depressed, my memories are all mashed up together. I wanted to be capable, to feel emotions richly, have a lot of friends and a loving girlfriend, atleast that's what it would take for me to not kill myself. None of those things will happen.

I have faded into the background in my own life.

And one day
I am gonna grow wings
a chemical reaction

Hysterical and useless
Hysterical and useless

 

[FailureCycle]

I'm Emily. I'm a 26yo trans woman from the southeastern US. I only started getting serious about suicide in the last few years, but I've considered it an option as long as I can remember. I don't know for sure if I'm gonna ctb yet, but I'm nearing the end of my rope. This was originally supposed to be a lurker account and my username received very little effort. It's uh... not great lol.

I mostly listen to metal (I've been on an Ice Nine Kills kick lately). I play video games occasionally, but I find I enjoy touching grass more now that I have IRL friends. I'm developing as a competition shooter. I'm mainly in it for the fun and social time, but I am getting better.

 

[Passenger4224]

Would have made a post here earlier but didn't see this thread until now lol

I'm a 21 yro American male determined to CTB by my birthday. Being the born the way I am is non-negotiable to me and I hate being worse than everyone else at everything. I needed extra help ever since I was an infant. Struggled to walk / speak / ride a bike / or any of life's milestones. Aside from being born barely able to function, I'm not even the correct gender so I can't have a relationship (which my happiness depends on).

I'd rather not be alive than be me, and this is the ultimate no-brainer of a decision. Until my day comes, I want to use this forum as a place to speak about suicide without being censored. I've been obsessed with the topic and love discussing and researching it. I always try to view things from a logical standpoint, but I also might come with hot takes and unconventional ideas.

I've enjoyed posting in this forum so far and find this to be a great community! I am open to new online friends, if you can tolerate that I won't be around for long.

 

[No surprises]

I don't matter, am worthless, will never be visible to others. I'm the 3rd person in my own story, I am separate.

Confusion in her eyes that says it all
She's lost control
And she's clinging to the nearest passerby
She's lost control
And she gave away the secrets of her past
And said, "I've lost control again"
And to the voice that told her when and where to act
She said, "I've lost control again"
And she turned around and took me by the hand
And said, "I've lost control again"
And how I'll never know just why or understand
She said, "I've lost control again"
And she screamed out, kicking on her side, and said
"I've lost control again"
And seized up on the floor, I thought she'd die
She said, "I've lost control"
She's lost control again
She's lost control
She's lost control again
She's lost control
That I had to phone her friend to state my case
And say she's lost control again
And she showed up all the errors and mistakes
And said, "I've lost control again"
And she expressed herself in many different ways
Until she lost control again
And walked upon the edge of no escape
And laughed, "I've lost control"
She's lost control again
She's lost control
She's lost control again
She's lost control

I'm lost at sea
Don't bother me
I've lost my way
I've lost my way

Living in a Fantasy world....



I also wanna kill myself due to similar reasons. I used to be smart at one point, I don't know if my depression made me dumb or my dumbness made me depressed, my memories are all mashed up together. I wanted to be capable, to feel emotions richly, have a lot of friends and a loving girlfriend, atleast that's what it would take for me to not kill myself. None of those things will happen.

I have faded into the background in my own life.

And one day
I am gonna grow wings
a chemical reaction

Hysterical and useless
Hysterical and useless

I didn't receive the notification, so I'm only seeing your reply now! You feel that without ideal interpersonal relationships, life loses its meaning. Although I don't quite understand this pursuit, I think that suicide actually demonstrates your persistence in your ideals and meaning. So, you could consider your suicide as a form of self-actualization; that might make you feel a little better. "One day I will grow wings"—I recognized these lyrics from Let Down. This song resonates with the mindset of someone contemplating suicide, which is why I love it so much and have listened to it over 100 times. In May, I'm going to a hospital in a big city to see a doctor about cognitive impairment. I hope this will be a chance for metamorphosis; otherwise, I'll be shaking hands with carbon monoxide, haha.
Please forgive my poor writing skills.

 

[xterii]

hi, 20f from usa

i officially joined recently after a few years of lurking

lover of animals, nature, music, and writing poetry. have silly hyper fixations on ptv, mcr, animal genetics and dinosaurs too

i have suffered from multiple disorders since i was a kid, and have been trying to find a place of comfort and meet new people- hopefully make friends also <3

 

[Anthropos]

Hello, Im 29 y.o, teacher from Brazil and doing a PHD in philosophy. I write classical music and short stories sometimes. Im completely pessimistic about the world, universe, nature, humans and existence, and hope to die soon. Dunno which method Ill use yet, probably jumping from a cellphone tower near my house.

 

[listerical]

hiya.
im 20, from canada. i train dogs, specifically psychiatric service dogs. i love music, especially live. my favourite band is twenty one pilots. favourite game is life is strange: before the storm.