Introduce yourself

[RyoAsuka]

Not using anything that can Identify me so you can just call me Ryo I use any pronouns idc what you call me. I have diagnosed ASD, Anxiety and Adhd.

I do not know if I want to CTB or try to recover and live my life but I'm glad a site like this exists.

 

[TheDrape]

Im The Drape and im looking for buddies to talk to openly

 

[THEREALSLIMSHADY]

Hi Guys, I´m therealslimshady, but i won´t stand up. I aint Eminem but i been in video, situation like video actually. Nice to meet yaaal

 

[Rwyttndwp]

Nos da to all, I am 22 years old, rummaging towards 23 wasted years on this one.

Whilst I am not sure I even suffer from anything, I wouldn't discard the possibility of something being wrong with my brain, I barely even lived really
my life has been nothing but wasted opportunities, one after the other, nonstop. Tried CTB before at around 16, inspired by my mother who used to try it frequently as well. The times I caught her, i did nothing but try to ease her pain because I understood her, caressing her hair, talking to her, keeping her company, she still lives and I do not feel an inch of regret.

My interests are nothing to write home about, i really like anime, music and gaming

It is good to see a community that does not stigimatize and shame what can be the very last thoughts you have in this heap of shit. Pleasure to be here!

 

[pax420]

Hey, Brian here. 56 years old recently lost best friend/gf/ride or die. Also lost will and desire to exist. I've spent 44 of my 56 years fubared out of my head. There is no logical reason I'm still stuck in this worn out rotting carcass. Will post my life thread one day soon. I'll also post my ctb plans if anybody wants to read them. I've had a pretty interesting existence. Sex drugs crime prison surgeries good music and lots of laughs. Yeah right mostly drugs crime and prison. Never figured out who I am and what my purpose was/is except as a crash test dummy for misery, confusion, and pain.

 

[inextremis]

Hi. Not sure what to say. Even online I usually just lurk everywhere because I'm too self critical to express myself. Idk. I'm off the drugs and alcohol that defined most of my life after some legal trouble and now I just feel empty. I was too much of a liability to keep anyone in my life and now that I'm sober I'm utterly alone. No more distractions and nothing left to keep me going. I don't want to go back but there's just nothing to keep me going forward. I can't stop crying. Anyway thanks for this space.

 

[movies4guys]

u can call me frailty. im 20. have been miserable 4 around half my life and it doesn't look like im gonna stop being miserable anytime soon unless im dead. hence why im here. i like poetry and music. nice to meet u all.

 

[ris_ris_ris_ris_]

Hello, you can call me Dol. I am twenty years old. I like anime, manga, literature, linguistics, philosophy, and drawing. My depression and just general shitty mental health has made it increasingly difficult for me to develop in the fields I enjoy and have skill for. I've been medicated since I was six years old and collect mental illnesses like badges. I can't wait to die. Nice to meet you.

 

[DonLockwood]

Hello all. You can just call me by my username. I'm a male in my mid 20s and I would say that i've had depression for the longest time. With increasing expectations and not being able to reach my goals in recent years. My mental health has really taken a nosedive. I unfortunately do not see any life that I would enjoy living in the future, and because of that, i've come to this website. Nice to meet you all.

 

[doomedbynarrative]

HI there. I'm from the USA. 30s. I have had a lot of trauma in my life from childhood till now and I have been going slowly and painfully deaf for a little over a decade now. I have very severe tinnitus as a result. I used to be a musician. I have a lot of people who love me but can't really understand me. I've actually have had another disability from birth all this time but I am more used to it compared to going deaf though it does make me sad on occasion and it got me a lot of bullying as a child. I believe every living thing in this world should have a right to a meaningful and well lived life but unfortunately our universe is not set up like that. It's really sad because I have a lot of love in me and always have.

I don't know how much time I have left before I have to make a final choice. I've contemplated it for so many years now. I'm glad this forum is here because where else can you talk about these things without a therapist or others sectioning you?

Anyway, hello, and I wish all of you the very best.

 

[ethereal_hobo]

Hi all. I probably should have saved what I wrote to the Admins when I joined the site. Anyway, I'll write a few words. I wonder should I avoid being too specific about some details even though the chances of anyone working out who I am are basically nil and I probably wouldn't care too much if they did.

I'm a guy who is aged somewhere between 38 and 43. I live in either Britain or Ireland and have a strange national identity thanks to my childhood and neurdiversity (mainly self-diagnosed, mainly ADHD but some other stuff probably including PTSD / CPTSD which basically causes a form of neurodivergence too. Did I mention I can be quite antipsych despite saying all that?).

So yeah kind of anti-authoritarian. On that note, there are so many political arguments these days but I think if people thought more about authoritarianism and anti-authoritarianism it would make these arguments more productive. The problem is probably that the words are so long and awkward for people's attention spans.

A major reason that I might die younger than I should is a horrific phobia of exams. It hasn't worked out well when I've talked about this issue with people generally, but maybe you fine people are trustworthy. I can live without getting degrees and all that but living without a driving licence (despite being able to drive fine) can be pretty damn depressing. Not that I particularly like driving or anything lol. I might do a motorbike lesson or two for a change of scenery. I suppose motorbikes are so dangerous that I'd probably CTB inadvertently before too long.

I can't emphasise enough how horrific my phobia is. And not just one phobia it seems! I have a phobia of talking to anyone, particularly a doctor or professional, about my mental health issues, thanks to neurodivergence, narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, invalidation and all the rest of it.

My issues render me a different species to most people in many ways. This post is quite rambly and I probably over-emphasised the wrong things, but anyway, it's just an intro post isn't it. I salute you

 

[jerkbybile]

hello. i am in my 20s, and i have been suicidal off and on for the majority of my life. i have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and schizoaffective disorder; the mix of extreme, intense emotions and bouts of delusion make it difficult for me to live life as the average man. i feel as though i could have everything i have ever wanted and still be lacking that unnameable something that makes someone "normal", or, well-adjusted. i feel as though the world itself rejects me, and thus it is impossible for me to make a living for myself and impossible to simply continue to be.
nothing about my struggles are particularly unique and i acknowledge that. i hope to speak with people who have similar struggles and hear realistic, unbiased opinions.

 

[ReimuIsTransAndSad]

Hello my name is Reimu. I am trans and autistic. I need a place to scream. That is all ye need to know about me. Been suffering for a long time. I guess I'd also like to add that I don't even hate myself. I'd like to improve even when I do awful things. I'd like to do better. At the end of the night though I always feel so sad and alone.

 

[whyisthesky]

Hi, call me Sky. I'm in my 30s but will leave my gender unspecified. The Streisand effect helped me find this site (shoutout governmental-approved regulator overreach, you suck but at least I found my way here). I'm relieved to find somewhere to talk/read about/engage with this subject matter without censorship or burdening those around me or potentially losing the liberty to make this choice. My situation is complicated but very simple at the same time. The solution is unavoidable, and the future (mine, and just in general) is bleak either way.

From what I've seen while lurking the people here seem empathetic and understanding and I appreciate that. Through all the suffering and distress I'm facing I'm glad to have found a space like this. Let me be as informed as I am determined. Grateful to those who maintain and defend this space.

 

[CrosswordsInPen]

The topic of death and more specifically people ctb has always fascinated me. It's been a morbid curiosity of mine to the point where I spend hours on end just researching local cases, digging deeper than I probably reasonably should. I've struggled with passive SI for the longest time and even now that things are looking up for me, I doubt it would take long for me to slip into these thoughts again. It's always just one minor misstep that sends the whole thing crashing down, but I try to keep it together to the best of my abilities. I'd love to be able to help anyone struggling with negative thoughts and I'm always open to discussion.

 

[coulthard]

Hi lot of you. Im Coulthard, from UK, 44 y.o. i was long time lurker. IT guy. Having hardships and need some ppl and safe place, need to talk a bit. I like music and video games. If anyone wants to chat or something hit me up. Im also here to research methods.

 

[sshine]

I am not currently suicidal nor do I endorse suicide. However I think that each person should possess the right to choose this path. I wonder why suicide still carries such shame when society claims to value personal freedom. If we never chose to be born, why should we be forced to keep living? So much energy gets spent stopping suicide rather than easing the pain behind it.

I think society enables people in the worst parts of being human. My profile picture shows that.

I am open to conversation but may not share personal details.