Venting I hope they can find a way to cure Gender Dysphoria in the future

[geometryculdesac]

I understand this is an extremely talked down upon topic in trans communities however I think the only real solution to this hell of an existence is to figure out what causes it and breed dysphoria out. Once we can prove it is a biological anomaly maybe people will finally start taking seriously how awful this condition can be most of the time and start empathizing more instead of telling us pathetic "you are a (wo)man no matter how you look" "you're perfect the way you are" "you need to learn to love yourself" type speak. it's stupid. I was born wrong and I will be wrong forever. No amount of hormones or jaw filler or sex change surgeries or empty hugbox speech from "allies" will give me a male life, at least one that doesn't feel like a massive larp and a lie to everyone around me. I cannot imagine living the rest of my life this way. The moment I realized I was transsex it was like I had suddenly become deaf and blind for the rest of my life. And again nobody cares. I cannot talk to a psych about this because they've all been taught to regurgitate the "love yourself gender ≠ sex" mentality and there's not a chance they could understand what I'm trying to say. I cannot go to a ward for this because of the psych reasons and I am terrified of the horror stories from other trans people who have been abused and assaulted. Even on here I see trans people speak on how their bodies are fundamentally ruined and can never be fixed and people in the replies will spew the exact same nonsense over and over again. You are perfect the way you are. You don't need anything to be a man. Men can have gyno and wide hips and tiny hands and blah blah blah please shut up it is not helpful none of it is helpful. And I can't even really blame them because what else can they do? Being a transsexual is a cruel cruel life and I cannot wait until MAiD legalizes mental health related treatment.
this is a bit incoherent and poorly written my apologies I have not slept in two days and am in the middle of a shift at work and am also a bit drunk

 

[SuicidalTranny737]

In a perfect world, trans people would not exist, as they would already be the genders they were supposed to be. I know how you feel

 

[geometryculdesac]

In a perfect world, trans people would not exist, as they would already be the genders they were supposed to be. I know how you feel

Thank you for agreeing. I've seen a few of your other posts (and similar) on here and think it's quite ridiculous how most of the responses are people just telling you or others to get over your "internalized transphobia" or to in other words accept yourself. I don't know why transsexuals are treated like this on here when I'd argue our condition is one of the most immutable and unfixable of them all.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

Thank you for agreeing. I've seen a few of your other posts (and similar) on here and think it's quite ridiculous how most of the responses are people just telling you or others to get over your "internalized transphobia" or to in other words accept yourself. I don't know why transsexuals are treated like this on here when I'd argue our condition is one of the most immutable and unfixable of them all.

Honestly I will tell you be very cautious of how you word threads like this because the mods as well as some really defensive members on here have been very critical of some of my related statements. I identify as cis-dysphoric, basically I'm a cis guy but I have gender dysphoria and it's something I've struggled with since I was young, but I do not think transitioning is a be all and end all solution, as many people who have transitioned are still on here. A lot of people have their opinions on it making you feel better but in my case I don't think it improves my quality of life as I feel more like I'm suffering from imposter syndrome then "being my true self".

To each their own, and I hope one day in the future there are alternatives to repression and transitioning that fit more individual needs than those two options do.

 

[badatparties]

I'm cis, but the fact that people can be born in the wrong bodies is just more evidence that we really live in a hell realm of some kind. I mean what the actual fuck.

 

[SuicidalTranny737]

Honestly I will tell you be very cautious of how you word threads like this because the mods as well as some really defensive members on here have been very critical of some of my related statements. I identify as cis-dysphoric, basically I'm a cis guy but I have gender dysphoria and it's something I've struggled with since I was young, but I do not think transitioning is a be all and end all solution, as many people who have transitioned are still on here. A lot of people have their opinions on it making you feel better but in my case I don't think it improves my quality of life as I feel more like I'm suffering from imposter syndrome then "being my true self".

To each their own, and I hope one day in the future there are alternatives to repression and transitioning that fit more individual needs than those two options do.

I think you should really, really consider transition. You can still identify as male if you wish, but you'd no longer be entirely masculine. Age of transition definitely has a say in how well hrt will work, but think of it like this: hrt does little, you can still repress just like you are, and it would be slightly less mental load as you wouldn't have as many masculine aspects, and if hrt does a lot, no problems. But of course, this is entirely your decision. I'd still recommend transition though.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I think you should really, really consider transition. You can still identify as male if you wish, but you'd no longer be entirely masculine. Age of transition definitely has a say in how well hrt will work, but think of it like this: hrt does little, you can still repress just like you are, and it would be slightly less mental load as you wouldn't have as many masculine aspects, and if hrt does a lot, no problems. But of course, this is entirely your decision. I'd still recommend transition though.

I'm not repressing who I am now though. I've attached a picture below to illustrate a point that anatomically transitioning wouldn't be the solution to the dysphoria for me. I am free to act however I like and dress however I want, but having seen a lot of trans athletes drastically dominate in women's sports I feel like any change made with transitioning would only be aesthetic and cosmetic. And I also feel like personally I am appropriating a gender identity that I will never fully be able to experience the reality of. And I think that is unfair to women who are not supportive of trans inclusion because men have encroached on their personal spaces since the dawn of time. So my mentality is me labeling myself a woman and claiming that as an undeniable fact, even if I end up going through dozens of surgeries... if I end up making just one biological woman uncomfortable because she has to share any sort of gender specific space with me then my core belief but being a woman is wrong because it is based on someone else giving me the rights to do things that I was not born with and do not agree that I should have should it infringe on anyone else's rights.

If my identity is dependent on any sort of social validation or acknowledgment, then my identity is presumably false and created by an ill part of my mind that loves and cherishes and admires women that inadvertently must to some extent also objectify them and idolize them in such a way that I want to be one. I feel like it would be a toxic fantasy for me to claim to be one. I feel like most people with gender dysphoria such as myself suffer with imposter syndrome and I don't think that's coincidental. I think we all want a fresh start and we all want to "edit our base character" so to speak... But realistically, the experience will always be preassigned. So even accepting myself as a trans woman is only fighting reality itself instead of accepting that I want something that I can never have.