Just a venting essay on what I think on life, humanity and suicide. Feel free to read if you have time.
"There is simply no other solution other than suicide for the benefit of humanity, animals and this planet. Humans are God's most evil, inhumane (the irony) creations. I had a pretty fucked up life until now, yet materialistically much better than the average person. Mid-20s, educated, good job, a very good family (except one shit member) sounds like I had it all. But no. Grew up in war, genocide, fleeing from my country, going to another better country (lived in a third for a while), bullying, violence I went through it all. But it's not really my experiences alone drive me to this corner of life. It's how these experiences shaped my views on life and humans. I now see the dirty selfishness, narcissism, greed, envy, ignorance, hypocrisy, artificiality among every human being, some have it more, some less. That's how God designed us. In my country, I grew up watching how men abuse women. After switching nations, I experienced how women abuse men using the progressive agenda. I saw the hypocrisies and desire to be on the top from each gender, each race, each religion. And mind you, I lived in three different nations until now, all with different cultures, different races, different religions. I see the faults within men, women, trans, straight, gays, liberals, conservatives, rich, poor, Whites, Blacks, Asians, Middle Easterns, Indians, Hispanics, every single group has their own prejudices, biases, hypocrisies, faults. And there is just simply no solution to it. The world will always be shit. We can never reach a position of true equality and respect for each other, not even near. Everyone will continue to fight to reach the top for themselves, and continue to be blind to their own faults, blind to the things that don't affect them, dismissive of things that threatens their dominance. And at one point, you just ask what's the point of this life? You grow up dreaming one day you will help people, change lives blah blah, just to find out that one day that makes you realise the world is not worth saving and you cannot save it even if you wanted to. Whatever good deeds you will do, will have zero effect except giving the delusion to make yourself feel better and forget all the terrible things you did in life. Just think of one thing, whenever you are sad, depressed about your life, somebody will tell you how others got it worse and it actually makes you happy! Like how crazy it is, we force ourselves to be happy from others' pain and sufferings. That's why we have support circles. You lose a close person, you join a support group of similar people. You are GLAD that other people also lost closed ones so that you can share your grief. You lose a body limb from an accident, you feel relief when you find others with similar or actually even worse disabilities. Isn't this fucked up? But this is how we are designed. So what's the point of life? Waking up everyday, pushing through this hopelessness, pain, shame, regrets and fear for an uncertain future, forced to live as God's most evil creation? What's the point of interacting with people surrounding you, knowing nobody really means anything, it's all just a mirage! And it's not anyone's fault that they don't care much about others! That's how we are designed, including yourself. Unless it's a loving family member, nobody will mourn for you if you die, nobody will halt their own lives. Your best friend will be sad, maybe upload two stories, but will never stop living just cause you did. And even your parents will move on eventually. You are alone. And this is the case when you are also alive, even more strongly. Your problems are your problems, nobody will be coming to solve it for you. Your best friend will go to sleep and wake up with your problems, no one will erase your memories of how you were bullied, abused, beaten, molested, raped, how you lost family members, how your partner cheated on you and left you, how your children died, how you wasted your life, no one coming. And there is no point pushing yourself through these painful memories and suffering everyday. There is no point dreaming about a future which has no hope and light. It's just good to embrace the end. A quote from a show I watched,
"We are not equal in life. The only thing we are equal in is death". So why not embrace it sooner other than later?"
"There is simply no other solution other than suicide for the benefit of humanity, animals and this planet. Humans are God's most evil, inhumane (the irony) creations. I had a pretty fucked up life until now, yet materialistically much better than the average person. Mid-20s, educated, good job, a very good family (except one shit member) sounds like I had it all. But no. Grew up in war, genocide, fleeing from my country, going to another better country (lived in a third for a while), bullying, violence I went through it all. But it's not really my experiences alone drive me to this corner of life. It's how these experiences shaped my views on life and humans. I now see the dirty selfishness, narcissism, greed, envy, ignorance, hypocrisy, artificiality among every human being, some have it more, some less. That's how God designed us. In my country, I grew up watching how men abuse women. After switching nations, I experienced how women abuse men using the progressive agenda. I saw the hypocrisies and desire to be on the top from each gender, each race, each religion. And mind you, I lived in three different nations until now, all with different cultures, different races, different religions. I see the faults within men, women, trans, straight, gays, liberals, conservatives, rich, poor, Whites, Blacks, Asians, Middle Easterns, Indians, Hispanics, every single group has their own prejudices, biases, hypocrisies, faults. And there is just simply no solution to it. The world will always be shit. We can never reach a position of true equality and respect for each other, not even near. Everyone will continue to fight to reach the top for themselves, and continue to be blind to their own faults, blind to the things that don't affect them, dismissive of things that threatens their dominance. And at one point, you just ask what's the point of this life? You grow up dreaming one day you will help people, change lives blah blah, just to find out that one day that makes you realise the world is not worth saving and you cannot save it even if you wanted to. Whatever good deeds you will do, will have zero effect except giving the delusion to make yourself feel better and forget all the terrible things you did in life. Just think of one thing, whenever you are sad, depressed about your life, somebody will tell you how others got it worse and it actually makes you happy! Like how crazy it is, we force ourselves to be happy from others' pain and sufferings. That's why we have support circles. You lose a close person, you join a support group of similar people. You are GLAD that other people also lost closed ones so that you can share your grief. You lose a body limb from an accident, you feel relief when you find others with similar or actually even worse disabilities. Isn't this fucked up? But this is how we are designed. So what's the point of life? Waking up everyday, pushing through this hopelessness, pain, shame, regrets and fear for an uncertain future, forced to live as God's most evil creation? What's the point of interacting with people surrounding you, knowing nobody really means anything, it's all just a mirage! And it's not anyone's fault that they don't care much about others! That's how we are designed, including yourself. Unless it's a loving family member, nobody will mourn for you if you die, nobody will halt their own lives. Your best friend will be sad, maybe upload two stories, but will never stop living just cause you did. And even your parents will move on eventually. You are alone. And this is the case when you are also alive, even more strongly. Your problems are your problems, nobody will be coming to solve it for you. Your best friend will go to sleep and wake up with your problems, no one will erase your memories of how you were bullied, abused, beaten, molested, raped, how you lost family members, how your partner cheated on you and left you, how your children died, how you wasted your life, no one coming. And there is no point pushing yourself through these painful memories and suffering everyday. There is no point dreaming about a future which has no hope and light. It's just good to embrace the end. A quote from a show I watched,
"We are not equal in life. The only thing we are equal in is death". So why not embrace it sooner other than later?"
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