Venting I don't want to get better.

[Nikolai Gogol]

I only want further self-destruction and full realization of how loathsome and shameful my existence has become.
I don't want to be healthier, I don't want to be happier, I don't want to the pain to end.
I want to look in the mirror and be disgusted by what I see.
I want to be hated by others, and I want to hate myself for it.
I want to be left abandoned by everyone, and I don't want help.

Sorry for the rant.

 

[Dinozauria]

Don't apologise for the rant, it's what the venting tag is for <3
If it helps, your not alone. I feel like this too, and lots of other people have felt/do feel like this too