I'm sorry you feel this way, though I can relate. It's like "home" is this abstract idea of safety, warmth an comfort, but no place on Earth feels like it. I also think that "I want to go home!" whenever I'm in a crisis. If you don't mind me asking, in what way are you dysfunctional?
Im dysfunctional in many ways, one of the biggest ones is that i struggle very heavely with putting my thoughts to words and general communication, coming up with this reply took quite a day, i have both physical and mental issues, i just struggle at most things, I've seen 6 different psychologist and never really felt like i got anywhere and it almost kinda feel like its my fualt? I just can't get there with words
i want to run away from home and find people who will love me, like i'm a stray cat instead of a college drop out. even though i've lived at home all my life, it's never been home to me because i've never felt wanted here. i wish i could find home in other people, but they never stay with me. everyone has to go. i can't find home in myself because i can't be alone with my thoughts. i wish that i could feel like i belong somewhere.
I feel the stray cat thing very much, maybe its weird but i genuinely wish i was a pet most of the time, being a human doesnt seem worth it to me
Also ive felt rare moment of feeling at home in my life, i never really had a family (neglect) but eventually taught i found my own, but turned out i was wrong they eventually got annoyed by me and basically kicked me out
