how to stop compulsively checking sn shipping status?

[eggsausagerice]

i should be doing better things with my time, but since i cut off most of my friends and don't have much to do at home besides play games and watch shows because i'm unemployed, i've been fixated on when my sn will arrive in the mail. it makes me feel kind of ashamed of myself, because i know i should be doing something i enjoy if i try to encourage other people to stop fixating on things they're worried about. it's just always in the back of my mind no matter what i do. i don't really feel like leaving my house or doing much of anything, because i feel really anxious most of the time. i feel guilty that i want to kill myself and i feel guilty that i'm not dead either. it's been weighing on me a lot these past few days even though i know that it'll probably turn out fine if i live in the us. i just know that i won't have an excuse to tell the police if they come to my house. cutting off my irl friends has just made my anxiety worse because i feel like there's no way i can relax if i just spend most of my day ruminating. i know that i don't really want to go back to my friends if i'm going to attempt, because i don't want to be around them if i'm actively planning my suicide. it feels like a lot at once, even though it really isn't. my life is just really empty right now. i feel like i don't have anything i really enjoy, even though i still like things. i'm just constantly worrying that i'm a burden even if i'm not in anyone's lives anymore.

 

[Pluto]

 

[metfan647]

You could spend your time learning about interesting things like punctuation. Only joking (but not joking). On a serious note, I could suggest a million and one things to keep you occupied but as someone with a proclivity to being on the neurotic side, I too will be be very anxious when it gets closer to delivery.

 

[eggsausagerice]

 

[vascomorrow]

You could spend your time learning about interesting things like punctuation. Only joking (but not joking). On a serious note, I could suggest a million and one things to keep you occupied but as someone with a proclivity to being on the neurotic side, I too will be be very anxious when it gets closer to delivery.

Hes talking about ctb and you're worried about his grammar.. wow

 

[Warum]

You could spend your time learning about interesting things like punctuation. Only joking (but not joking). On a serious note, I could suggest a million and one things to keep you occupied but as someone with a proclivity to being on the neurotic side, I too will be be very anxious when it gets closer to delivery.

oh please shut the fuck up

 

[Scorpio moon gal]

Hes talking about ctb and you're worried about his grammar.. wow

Hes talking about ctb and you're worried about his grammar.. wow

I wonder

 

[metfan647]

Hes talking about ctb and you're worried about his grammar.. wow

It's just a bit of levity.

 

[eggsausagerice]

You could spend your time learning about interesting things like punctuation.

not helpful brother.

 

[metfan647]

not helpful brother.

Apologies.

 

[eggsausagerice]

i feel like i don't have anything i really enjoy, even though i still like things. i'm just constantly worrying that i'm a burden even if i'm not in anyone's lives anymore.

i went outside to sit on a lawn chair and i've been feeling the sun on my face and the breeze. i'm still just watching youtube videos on my phone but i feel better than how i felt in my room. i still need to go back inside because the sun is in my eyes though.

 

[jengablocks]

mine never escaped customs processing but i was the same way . it was just hard to focus on anything else, especially when there really is nothing else.. like all the things there are to possibly think about just lead back to why im doing this in the first place.

i know u mentioned not wanting to leave the house , but that's where my mind goes. physically changing spaces to someplace different can help with escaping rumination sometimes even if no other circumstances change , atleast for me.

 

[violetforever]

You could spend your time learning about interesting things like punctuation. Only joking (but not joking).

that was irrelevant i see a lot of people on here who dont have english as a first language and nobody tells them to go learn proper english bc its insensitive.

 

[thelostautistic]

It is really hard. I was doing the exact same thing when mine was on the way. This may sound really random but I found doing puzzles really kept my mind occupied whilst waiting. It killed so many hours