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HopingOnaMiracle

HopingOnaMiracle

Specialist
Mar 8, 2024
334
I tried different meds, didn't work
30 sessions of rTMS (23 to go) didn't work
Therapy doesn't make it go away or decrease in strenght
The only things that work very slightly are walking and meditation. But those are working less and less. Mom comes every morning to walk or cycle but I still feel like crap after that. Tapering down on lorazepam isn't doing much good either.

This has been going on for almost a year now. Since a few months having thoughts about CTB. But I don't think I'll ever do it. It would destroy my parents and probably my friends.

The rTMS lady asked me to keep hope.
I'm losing hope
Feels like this pain is endless. It doesnt get better, only gets worse. When will I be liberated. Can't it just go a LITTLE bit better?

Tldr: how do you keep hope when nothing is improving for a year.
 
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