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author

author

they/them
Jul 13, 2021
84
I've been in such a state of limbo of living or dying for so long, I'm struggling with actually living. I still feel 16 sometimes despite being in my early 20s. I don't know how to adult at all. I'd like to "grow up", get an income, get out of here. I think it would really help me not want to die if I could leave where I currently live. I just don't know where to start. My only possible income at the moment is disability, but I'm having trouble with doctors at the moment. The last one I got in with was discriminatory towards me so I'm struggling to find a new one so I can get diagnosed and hopefully get disability income, but it feels miles away.

I'm really trying to get my life together but I just don't know where to start. I know nobody really knows what they're doing, but does anyone have an inkling of how to be an adult? Like, what does it even mean to be an adult? Aside from the obvious of getting a job, since that's not really much of an option for me.
 
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theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,252
I ask myself the same question
 
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frost_

Member
Jun 6, 2024
49
Thinking about people I've been impressed by, I guess being an adult means actively shaping your own destiny by planning and taking steps that build certain outcomes. I don't remember them waiting for something good to happen.

Have you tried scheduling appointments with multiple doctors to speed up the process of finding a match? One by one might be too slow based on luck finding one that will grant your disability.
 
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HighFlight

HighFlight

Global mod
Jun 28, 2023
710
This is a hard question to answer, especially without knowing your specific situation. And how do you define "adult"?

I would suggest you start by looking at your own personal care. Are you owning responsibility for making sure you are eating right, getting some exercise, good hygiene, etc. While you figure out income and living situation, this is where I would suggest starting.
And remember that it will be small steps. Celebrate the small wins, and accept setbacks.
If you're in the US, unfortunately you might need an attorney to help get disability. You could try meeting with one to see what they think your next steps should.

I'm having to deal with this for my child, whose about your age. It hard to watch. I'm sure it's worse to live it. But there is hope as long as your willing to try.
 
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pollux

pollux

Knight of Infinite Resignation
May 24, 2024
228
Not sure if this will apply to you, but my current plans are finally getting my driver's license (failed the first time two years ago and never tried again due to lack of time; in my country you have to go to driver's school to even take the test), finally get to renew my european passport (might be useful later on) and getting an internship next semester.

Basically, I need money and a way to move around. I can't buy a car though, might look into buying a bike
 
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author

author

they/them
Jul 13, 2021
84
This is a hard question to answer, especially without knowing your specific situation. And how do you define "adult"?

I would suggest you start by looking at your own personal care. Are you owning responsibility for making sure you are eating right, getting some exercise, good hygiene, etc. While you figure out income and living situation, this is where I would suggest starting.
And remember that it will be small steps. Celebrate the small wins, and accept setbacks.
If you're in the US, unfortunately you might need an attorney to help get disability. You could try meeting with one to see what they think your next steps should.

I'm having to deal with this for my child, whose about your age. It hard to watch. I'm sure it's worse to live it. But there is hope as long as your willing to try.
I want to be able to live on my own where I choose, that's what I'd consider being an adult. The house I'm living in is currently very detrimental to my mental and physical health, but I can't make money to get out of it. I think that's where I'm stuck, honestly. I've been trying to apply to jobs despite being disabled, since proving I'm disabled has been a hellish nightmare. I can't get interviews. Doctors are flaking out on me. I'm trying so hard I'm running myself into the ground and then some to be honest. I just don't know what to do at this point. I appreciate the advice though.
 
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