Discussion How do i stop feeling envious of everything?

[Leonard_Bangley39]

It doesnt matter what it's about, every time i see or hear about someone around me doing something, i always feel envious. even if in retrospect, I've done things in my life that others would feel envious about, like spending a month in tokyo.

Its hard for me to join existing groups cause i always feel out of place and seeing everyong paling around makes me feel envious. hearing about other's relationships makes me envious. hearing about other's trips makes me envious. hearing about other's income makes me envious.

And i dont want to be this way because feeling this way just makes me a shitty person through and through. even if i dont always show my envy on my face or express it, i still feel it and it still holds me back from doing lots of things. i dont want to be a bitter, negative, envious person. nobody wants to be friends with a person like that. not even me.

 

[Dies Ultima]

Sounds like a self-worth issue.

Your worth is not what others are but what you are. Self-worth issues suck mostly because it is a thing about your self-perception, and it is fucked up to change that, but not impossible.

You are good as you are, you only need to start focus on yourself instead of the others.

 

[_Gollum_]

I feel you, I also struggle a lot with envy, mostly having to do with body image.

The only thing that has helped me has been to reframe my envy and turn it into second-hand happiness for the other person. So for example, if I find myself thinking "I wish I looked like her", I try to shift that around and instead say "Good for her that she has those gifts and that she's benefiting from them." What a blessed thing that she can enjoy that for herself.

It's not a panacea, and it doesn't stop the envious thoughts from coming up in the first place, but I have found that it dials down the more "toxic" aspects of jealousy (ie. the bitterness you mentioned).

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

Sounds like a self-worth issue.

Your worth is not what others are but what you are. Self-worth issues suck mostly because it is a thing about your self-perception, and it is fucked up to change that, but not impossible.

You are good as you are, you only need to start focus on yourself instead of the others.

i wish i could literally just plug my brain into a computer and rewrite it to stop being to stupid and self deprecating

 

[amy joyce]

i dont want to be a bitter, negative, envious person. nobody wants to be friends with a person like that. not even me.

Yeah I get them. When I feel that way I end up feeling worse than I already do. It's hard taking advice too. People telling me how I should be when that's exactly it. If I'm not like that, I don't want to pretend. Perhaps it takes a kind of training of the brain. Instead of trying not to be envious of whatever, try to be more comfortable with who you are and what you have. It may not always be great but there are always people worse off. There are some things I have like money in the bank and a good car and new property I can go work on and enjoy but I can't leave my house. I feel sick all the time and have anxiety. I don't even have a driving license anymore. Still I spend sooo much time planning things for it but never do it.