Has the psych ward helped or harmed you?

[xiaoxiongmao]

I ended up in one cos I'd lost the will to do anything and the lack of activity was driving me crazy
So they put me in a place where there's absolutely nothing to do
So I decided that it was so awful that the outside world wasn't so bad after all

I'm not sure that this is how it's supposed to work but I was glad to get out after five days

I felt the same way! The ward was so bad that for a while I was glad to just be out.

Though now I'm back to global minimum.

 

[gonesoon!]

I have been to rehab twice. It helped me a lot. It was because of the good people there. Im still addicted to things but yeh. I have been to the psych hospital twice. The first time I tried to kill myself by overdosing. Was there for a week. It was fine. Aside from a girl who was harassing me. She snuck into my room and took her clothes off one night. It was honestly terrifying. This was someone I was not interested in lol. I was 18 and she was like a 35 year old schizophrenic woman. I yelled and she ran out but yeah. It wasnt a good experience. Also there was probably 20 fights over the course of a week. The second time was bad. I still have nightmares about it. It was caused by my new psychiatrist at the time. She made the police take me to the hospital because I wouldnt talk to the crisis people. She sent them to my house.

The second time was honestly just boring once I was there. There was literally nothing to do. No therapists. No one to talk to. For real. There were some crayons, paper, puzzles, and a tv. That was about it. However I had a head injury and also on the last day my lung messed up because I was throwing up violently for about 6 hours from the medication they were giving me. Basically my lung didnt fully deflate it leaked air into my chest and then the air went up my back and shoulders and into my neck. It made it feel hard to swallow. And my skin felt spongey. Its called a spontaneous pneumothorax. There was some other stuff too but anyways I walked up to the nurses desk because it felt like someone was stabbing me in the heart and they........ stared at me. They stared at me and didnt say anything. After a while I think they said something "I cant help you." Also "we heard you throwing up all night." Like yeah. Thanks for checking in. I didnt know what to do so I went down the hallway to the phones and called my mom. She called the nurses desk and had to tell them to help me. After a while I was transferred to the medical side of the hospital and recovered there for another week. There was a lot of other things bothering at that time (and currently lol) but no need to get into it.

All that to say. I dont like the hospital. I know it works for some people and I am SUPER happy for them. Genuinely. For me they just dont care. They are there to make money. There isnt even an effort to help. Its just a holding tank for addicts and actively hallucinating people. I am not judging those people however I do not believe I should be treated alongside some of them. Some of them are very violent. It does not help. In fact the oposite. Thats not even to mention the doctors handing pills out like candy. Pills which have done nothing but 1: make me more suicidal 2: brain zaps 3: anhedonia 4: damage my eyesight etc etc. Honestly I feel very dramatic but it kind of broke me. Their indifference in a place where I am at my darkest really dug into my brain. I suppose it varies by hospital. If you go dont expect such a shitty experience I guess.