Survived recent SN attempt, in psych ward

[fadedghost]

it's not just "mentally ill" people it's anyone who attempts or says they want suicide.

just because someone attempts suicide doesn't make them mentally ill. these monsters label you as mentally ill and put you in a mental ward if you attempt suicide. to them just the fact that you attempted suicide means you are mentally ill . but that's a lie.

i agree with you. good point.

 

[electrojellysoup]

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I can't believe how barbaric and uncaring the psych ward can be even in a developed country like Australia. They care more about keeping the cattle citizenry alive and productive than about their dignity and autonomy.

 

[lotus11]

Well i have to say im very happy to read the only 2/3 out of 10 for the pain part of this story. Guess that's some good news to report to the rest of us at least

 

[readytogo1959]

Yeah the taste was pretty bad. Extremely salty. I've drunk bleach in the past before during a period of impulsivity and it reminded me of it. For me, just as bad or potentially worse taste if you have it in plain water as per usual protocol. I ended up having first sip with the SN in plain water but didn't think I'd be able to finish it so said screw it and mixed in some Monster… Taste was still strong but bearable.

The small amount I drank is because I had second thoughts after the police officer texted me. It was really the right time right place sort of thing, he wouldn't stop calling me. So I decided to engage and then didn't finish it all. Thank you, sending best wishes to you too.

Yeah, 83% after 3 hours. I think because the dose I had was small (2-4g unsure how much exactly), the methemoglobinemia levels built up in my body slower.

My oxygen levels did go down lower though I think maybe 60s-70s at some point temporarily, not sure exactly. The doctors were saying when this happened that my 'oxygen levels are really really low and we might need to intubate you'. They were talking about giving some meds to put me to sleep and intubating me, but then the methylene blue seemed to kick in and my oxygen levels improved before it got to intubation.

Yeah, it's been really frustrating. Here for a week now, hoping it will all be over soon. Thank you.

How were you reported as a missing person? That's my biggest fear. I don't live with anyone but I share my location with my family and it will make them suspicious to turn that off.

I am so sorry for how you are being treated. You don't deserve this cruelty and it's so unfair. I wish you peace as you continue your recovery. Thank you for posting.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

How were you reported as a missing person? That's my biggest fear. I don't live with anyone but I share my location with my family and it will make them suspicious to turn that off.

Bc she lives with parents and has gone missing & attempted before, & bc she told a parent that she took off & not to look for her, so ofc her parents understood what was about to happen.

 

[readytogo1959]

Bc she lives with parents and has gone missing & attempted before, & bc she told a parent that she took off & not to look for her, so ofc her parents understood what was about to happen.

Thank you so much for the info!!

 

[Lastact]

Yeah the taste was pretty bad. Extremely salty. I've drunk bleach in the past before during a period of impulsivity and it reminded me of it. For me, just as bad or potentially worse taste if you have it in plain water as per usual protocol. I ended up having first sip with the SN in plain water but didn't think I'd be able to finish it so said screw it and mixed in some Monster… Taste was still strong but bearable.

The small amount I drank is because I had second thoughts after the police officer texted me. It was really the right time right place sort of thing, he wouldn't stop calling me. So I decided to engage and then didn't finish it all. Thank you, sending best wishes to you too.

Yeah, 83% after 3 hours. I think because the dose I had was small (2-4g unsure how much exactly), the methemoglobinemia levels built up in my body slower.

My oxygen levels did go down lower though I think maybe 60s-70s at some point temporarily, not sure exactly. The doctors were saying when this happened that my 'oxygen levels are really really low and we might need to intubate you'. They were talking about giving some meds to put me to sleep and intubating me, but then the methylene blue seemed to kick in and my oxygen levels improved before it got to intubation.

Yeah, it's been really frustrating. Here for a week now, hoping it will all be over soon. Thank you.

Hey, I hope dou feel a little bit better...are dou still in hospital?
Can you just buy SN in the farmacy or other shops in Australia or how do you get it? I am from Europe and sadly I can't buy it purely. There just exists SN with 1% concentration or something like that..

 

[peacecomingsoon]

Hey, I hope dou feel a little bit better...are dou still in hospital?
Can you just buy SN in the farmacy or other shops in Australia or how do you get it? I am from Europe and sadly I can't buy it purely. There just exists SN with 1% concentration or something like that..

Hey, thank you. I am feeling a little better. Perhaps the temporary effects of the medications they've put me on. Yes, I'm still in hospital. Have been in hospital for 2 weeks now and doc says it will likely be another 2 weeks until I finally leave… Desperate to get out of here.

I bought my SN from a dark web market, not from pharmacy or any other shops. The high purity SN (>99%) is difficult to source and I got my own from a popular dark web market.

 

[asthedayends00]

Hey, thank you. I am feeling a little better. Perhaps the temporary effects of the medications they've put me on. Yes, I'm still in hospital. Have been in hospital for 2 weeks now and doc says it will likely be another 2 weeks until I finally leave… Desperate to get out of here.

I bought my SN from a dark web market, not from pharmacy or any other shops. The high purity SN (>99%) is difficult to source and I got my own from a popular dark web market.

Why did you choose SN over fent if you had dark web access? I'm assuming you could get both..

 

[HangMan123]

Doctors gave the choice: take the meds or forced ECT… not much of a choice so I have been taken the forced meds. Even broke down crying one night because they were forcing me to take multiple sedative medications just because I was still awake around 10-11pmish and I wasn't even agitated. Saying it was needed for me to 'think straight' and calm down.

Jeez, what kind of Nurse Ratched BS is this? I had no idea ECT was still enforced in mental hospitals—that's horrifying. I'm glad that you're feeling a bit better now and I hope you can escape that place ASAP. Best wishes!

 

[peacecomingsoon]

Why did you choose SN over fent if you had dark web access? I'm assuming you could get both..

I couldn't find fent actually from a reputable source, but knew the SN source was legit so chose that. Originally, my plan was actually to OD on some kind of nitazene, but seemed riskier as they're illegal and many sellers didn't ship here to Australia. SN seller seemed the most transparent and more reviews so I just went with the easiest thing which was that.

 

[Lastact]

Why did you choose SN over fent if you had dark web access? I'm assuming you could get both..

Okay thank you! Nice to here that you feel a bit better now!
If policy find out you bought it there, they could charch you, is the right?
I also thought about that bit I am not wel informt or rather I didnt read yet about the daek web. Is it essy to understand or is there a high probability police finds out?

 

[SadCryingBunny]

Hello again everyone at SaSu. I unfortunately am here to post that I survived my SN attempt. I know what I did wrong and will make sure there are no mistakes for next time. Thank you so much everyone for all your support and kind words. I haven't read through everything as my phone is sometimes taken away in the ward and have to be careful.

I'm very regretful honestly to still be alive and was wishing so much that while the medical team were treating me that the treatment would fail and that I would die. I still want this, to die, but it is impossible right now with 1:1 nursing staff on me. The last three days I've been on 1:1 nursing which means a nurse outside the room door monitoring me, with the door open and also nearly everything in my room is taken away at night.

I've been put under the mental health act as expected and have been forcibly medicated already. Doctors gave the choice: take the meds or forced ECT… not much of a choice so I have been taken the forced meds. Even broke down crying one night because they were forcing me to take multiple sedative medications just because I was still awake around 10-11pmish and I wasn't even agitated. Saying it was needed for me to 'think straight' and calm down.

I hate psych wards so much and just want to be discharged and ctb. Thinking of either trying to hang myself with the thin bedsheets they have here once 1:1 nursing ends and do it over the door (toilet door has a wide gap). Or once I'm finally able to go on leave, get some of my SN back and drink it before coming back to hospital or even in the ward and just pretend I'm sleeping after taken it so by the time they will have noticed likely too late to help.

I'm so goddamn frustrated and wish my SI hadn't gotten in the way of my attempt. Next time I will not have my phone on me, will be in a completely isolated area, will mix the SN with another flavoured drink because it actually made no difference when I took it (I vomited 3 hours after drinking it at the hospital), a slightly shorter fasting period (8 hours instead of 12)…

in the end I only managed to drink 2-4g of SN unsure of exact amount/slightly less than half of 10g. This was enough to cause tachycardia/higher heart rate, cyanosis an hour or so later on lips, fingers, face very pale with bluish hue, nausea began early and got stronger right until I threw up 3 hours later. Overall experienced barely any breathing difficulties though despite my oxygen dropping to 83% I believe while treating, I think it got lower than that too though can't remember. My blood was apparently 'very, very dark brown' was what the doctor said. They gave the methylene blue and then it was all good pretty much after I vomited also. I've definitely learned my lesson and will not fail my next attempt. Doctors did say that (this was 2.5 hours later after I drank the SN), that if I hadn't gotten to hospital when I did that I would've died without treatment. So I guess it shows how potent and effective it is, really regret having gotten treatment…

Anyway, feel free to ask any questions and I'd be happy to answer them when I can. Just be mindful I am still in the ward and limited phone time. Thank you so much everyone and hope this helps somehow.

Overall, if I had to rate SN on a scale of pain it would be a 2/3 out of 10, very peaceful and minimal pain. It is definitely my method of choice.

99.9% Nitrogen Gas with Exit bag & heavy overdose on Zolpidem sleeping pills with line holding the neck seal open. Turn the gas open when you start to feel sleepy and breath the normal air coming through the bag. When you go to sleep, your hand will let go of the line pulling open the neck seal and it will close. Gas will build up in the bag and you will be dead in 10 minutes. Your hands need to be restrained unable to reach the bag, so you need to setup the line at the correct length and the gas bottle needs to be restrained next you in a horizontal position so it doesn't get knocked over with a 1m hose secured to the bag and clipped to your neck as an anchor. If there is zero f*ck ups, This is a VIP 100% guaranteed ticket to the other side/after life. It's exactly how I will ctb soon once I've found a far away location as I'm afraid of the autopsy. I wish you the best.

Okay thank you! Nice to here that you feel a bit better now!
If policy find out you bought it there, they could charch you, is the right?
I also thought about that bit I am not wel informt or rather I didnt read yet about the daek web. Is it essy to understand or is there a high probability police finds out?

The police are a bunch of fucking fucks. They have the audacity to charge someone for buying something they intend to suicide with.