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MrJoker789

MrJoker789

Member
Nov 26, 2025
19
I'm 36. I almost never go outside, except to take out the trash and sometimes go down to the city if I need something, but I hate doing so.
I have social anxiety and prefer to be on my own. At least I used to.
But now I've started to get lonely as F too.
I still don't think I could make a relationship work though, so it's just an annoyance.
Or maybe it's just my self hatred doing its thing, convincing me no one would love me if they had to live with me
I would rather just be fine with being on my own again.
I've had many traumatic things happen in my life and I cannot function like a normal human being.
I have given it lots of try to make my life work, but I always end up failing
My self hatred used to blame myself for being such a loser, and I guess I still do at times
But I don't think my brain can be fixed
Even if a lot of the shit I've gone through is because of stupid shit I've done, maybe at one point I gotta aknowledge that I was just not dealt a good hand in this life as well
A lot of debt is also starting to catch up on me recently, and I feel like I'm being harrased at this point
Just the stress I need

Sorry I guess I'm just ranting
Hi everyone I guess. Thought I might as well make a post, even if it's just venting
 
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