Story Failed my attempt, nearly finished in the psych ward for a while, the aftermath

[braintorture]

Hey there! You probably remember my thread and to sum it up.

Yesterday I tried catching the bus in a forest by hanging. I nearly managed to start choking for like a minute that a random hiker passing by caught me and stopped me from passing out and saved me just in time.

I was immediately found by cops and sent to a psych ward, managed to manipulate the people in here and my mom to get me out of it.

I managed to dodge a hefty amount of time in the wazoo.

Now I'm currently in a hotel room with my mom and we're heading to the other side of the country.

I'm currently dying in my bed with pain, and I wanna catch the bus really badly.

So, from learning of my mistakes, tomorrow and Saturday I have once in a lifetime opportunities to run away far and kill myself.

How will I do it you may ask? Tomorrow I'm being sent into a hotel room, this time alone, and I'll try to find the perfect moment to head somewhere like in Paris or a spot where a good forest at night can make its wonders.

Either that or I'll go to an abandoned urbex place and rope there. I really wanna rope (partial) but if I see that it's becoming way too hard or difficult - I'll just put myself under a train or jump.

I'm at a point where pain isn't a matter anymore and I really wanna fucking die.

I dodged an INSANE psych ward stay and I have only ONE chance left to catch the bus.

This time I will try to be strategic with my time and how I organize things.

 

[fruitninjamaster]

I hope this round turns out better, remember to think things through, especially as those around you are suspicious

 

[Unlucky777]

I'm so so sorry you have to endure all this pain and bs to find your peace. I wish you the best and hope you get to where you want to ASAP. I'll pray for you

 

[braintorture]

I hope this round turns out better, remember to think things through, especially as those around you are suspicious

Currently I'm meticulously trying to push things like my mom wanting to pick up my stuff and giving myself enough room and time to do this correctly. I won't use public transport I'll use co driving. I'll try to make sure to organize this in the night.

Most probably I'll ask my mom to send me to the hotel sooner, quickly buy the rope or find a timing to do so somehow and then look for an urbex or abandoned spot.

My mistake from my last attempt was that I went in a public forest where hikers go to a lot…

Also I'll make sure to be as far away from my mom so it takes as much as time as possible to get out.

I did think about going to Belgium or Germany to escape even more but I feel like I could be put on a yellow notice.

Thoughts?

 

[Xi-Xi]

You have to be strategic with this. I believe in you! Even though it is sad to see you depart, the bus does come for all of us, dreaded or welcomed.

Currently I'm meticulously trying to push things like my mom wanting to pick up my stuff and giving myself enough room and time to do this correctly. I won't use public transport I'll use co driving. I'll try to make sure to organize this in the night.

Most probably I'll ask my mom to send me to the hotel sooner, quickly buy the rope or find a timing to do so somehow and then look for an urbex or abandoned spot.

My mistake from my last attempt was that I went in a public forest where hikers go to a lot…

Also I'll make sure to be as far away from my mom so it takes as much as time as possible to get out.

I did think about going to Belgium or Germany to escape even more but I feel like I could be put on a yellow notice.

Thoughts?

I don't know about European stuff, so I couldn't tell you the consequences of running away to those countries

 

[braintorture]

Honestly I'm considering jumping and decapitation by train more and more right now due to the rope problematic. I couldn't really keep my rope and I have to find the right timing and moment to get a new one… maybe I should just put myself under a train in Paris or something and get killed from there directly?

I'm becoming desperate but basically I have until Saturday (things are closed and transport is gone). My time is ticking

 

[bananaolympus]

Ctb outside should be done after midnight or very early at dawn good luck for whatever you choose this time

 

[OliverGarden]

Honestly I'm considering jumping and decapitation by train more and more right now due to the rope problematic. I couldn't really keep my rope and I have to find the right timing and moment to get a new one… maybe I should just put myself under a train in Paris or something and get killed from there directly?

I'm becoming desperate but basically I have until Saturday (things are closed and transport is gone). My time is ticking

If possible, do try to avoid decapitation by train. One being that decapitation isn't guaranteed to be an instant death - you might still have consciousness for 2-3 seconds after - enough to feel the pain. Second being that you will traumatize a poor innocent, as well as mess up the scheduling of dozens of dozens, if not hundreds of people. It's effective in a pinch, but it's very messy for everyone involved...

If it does come down to it and you can be a bit picky, freight trains tend to be better for this. There's no passengers, delays will be minimal, and you're only really traumatizing the driver and cleanup/first-responders.

Good luck, friend. I hope you find peace. <3

 

[braintorture]

Ok so here's the plan. I'm trying to find the right time but today my mom should leave me alone in the hotel for at least one night, but I need to go to a store to pick up the rope. So the store opens at 7:30 - and is like a few hours away.

I will use co driving but here's the problem. Things have to be timed right and I need to find an abandoned spot just in time.

To recap:

I ask my mom to drop me earlier than usual - go to the city - get the rope - find an urbex or abandoned spot - finish the job.

Now the same rope I bought that worked well is available in another city, and I don't really know that city well - so Im thinking of doing that city then heading to Paris to find a spot directly there. Paris has many great hanging spots, plus it gives me more time to hide.

I'm trying to plan but yeah. This is pretty surgical and I wish I was dead already. This is hell!

Knowing I'm already in suicide watch in the other region, I think that if I'm reported of being missing again my face will pop up on the news or something so I'll try to probably wear a mask or some form of hiding

 

[reb]

Please consider full suspension, partial is so unreliable & takes a lot longer than full suspension. Obviously I can't tell you what to do, just something for your mind. I'm really sorry you got caught, enjoy your vacation (?) before you ctb (if you do)

 

[braintorture]

Ok I think I should buy a disposable phone and throw it somewhere so if authorities find out they'll just be mislead and I'll get a few hours of extra running. (With the SIM card of my known phone number)

 

[kouna]

1) Your story is very interesting, Keep us updated... if you can

2) Do you have to be in such a hurry? It makes things risky

 

[srilankanbeyotch]

Heyy youre the guy who got found by a random hiker and called the cops! Im so invested in your story!

 

[dalemar]

Wishing you all the best!
I think if you do it at night, your success chances are very high.

 

[braintorture]

1) Your story is very interesting, Keep us updated... if you can

2) Do you have to be in such a hurry? It makes things risky

1) thank you
2) yes. I don't wanna see 2026 and I can't stand a single second of being alive anymore. Also on the 28th it's my ex's birthday and I don't wanna be alive when it happens. Also, Sunday is coming and it means no store nothing open no transport so

 

[darksouls]

1) thank you
2) yes. I don't wanna see 2026 and I can't stand a single second of being alive anymore. Also on the 28th it's my ex's birthday and I don't wanna be alive when it happens. Also, Sunday is coming and it means no store nothing open no transport so

good luck,
I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[braintorture]

Hey there again. We're almost there and I realized not too far away there's a store open until 8pm and I can grab a rope. I might or might not have enough time to go grab one - but my mom is currently changing her mind for some reason and doesn't want to leave me alone in hotel room.

Everything is playing now. If I can get a rope by tonight, I'm officially set. I could hang myself whenever I want. However - I'm not sure if right after I have my rope I go flee to Paris or something.

I hope the timing wont be too tight! The thing is it takes an hour in bus alone and it might be too late. Or I could go in the middle of the night and buy a rope in the morning.

I'm thinking…